If I rode on their bus, it would mean sleeping on it. They had bunks, but I had struggled to sleep down the hall from Levi, let alone right next to him.
“Everything will work out, Phoebe.” Letty squeezed my arm. “You’ll see.”
I wanted to believe her.
But I knew history had a way of repeating itself.
“Holy fucking shit, that was epic.” Hudson bounded past me. “I feel like I could fly.”
“Let’s not try that,” Damon grumbled, stalking off down the hall.
“We’re showering on the bus, right?”
“Yeah, Duke wants to get on the road ASAP.” Letty appeared. “We have a long road ahead.”
The next show was tomorrow in Phoenix. That was almost a nineteen-hour ride. Sure, the band would be asleep for most of it. But for the road crew and security, it meant a long night ahead.
“I hope you stocked the liquor cabinet, Letty, baby, because I feel like getting fucked-up.” Hudson grinned at her.
“Is he high?” she asked Damon and Levi. He’d creeped up on us. But now he was close, I became hyperaware of him, my skin tingling.
“High on life.” He waggled his brows. “Didn’t you hear them? They almost blew the roof off the place. They love us, baby. They fucking love us,” he yelled, tearing off his t-shirt and lassoing it in the air.
“Fucking moron,” Levi muttered beside me and our eyes caught.
“You were great,” I said, quietly.
“Thanks.” His expression was indifferent. My stomach sank, but then he added, “The guys want to celebrate later, you should come.”
“Okay.”
God. I wasn’t supposed to say okay. But the pull was too strong. I could go and hangout with them without falling into the Levi Hunter trap, couldn’t I?
“See you there, Intern.” A faint smile traced his lips as he slipped past me, his hand brushing mine.
Heat flashed through me. But then I remembered him at the club, the blonde leaving his room the next morning, and the butterflies in my stomach turned hard, crumbling to dust.
“Phoebe, are you okay?” Eva touched my arm. I was still standing there, while everyone else disappeared down the hall. Rafe lingered but she gave him a look and he took off after his bandmates.
“The show was great,” I said around a weak smile.
“Thank you. Do you want to talk about it?”
“About what?” I played dumb, but she gave me a knowing look.
“You’re not foolin’ anyone.”
“I’m not trying to. I just...” A soft sigh slipped from my lips. “How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“The fangirls and groupies and craziness?”
She shrugged. “It wasn’t exactly what I had planned for my life. But when I met Rafe it was like somethin’ shifted, ya know?”
I did. It had happened to me twice now.
“Love makes you crazy.” The corner of Eva’s mouth kicked up. “It makes you take risks and push yourself out of your comfort zone. At least, it has for me.”
“Yeah,” I agreed because she was right.
Love did make you crazy.
And if you weren’t careful, it made you lose sight of who you were.
“Come tonight. It’s just us and the guys. Besides, we’ll be on the tour bus.” She smiled. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
Coming here was a bad idea.
I was wedged between Hudson and Letty with a glass full of tequila in front of me.
“Your turn, Pheebs.” Hudson handed me the dice.
“Okay,” I breathed, tipping it out of my hand onto the table. “Six. So, what now? I roll again?”
“Or hold until your next turn. I can’t believe you’ve never played Pig before.” Hudson snorted.
“Hmm. I’ll go again.” Scooping up the die, I rolled it a second time. “Six again.”
“Beginners luck.” Rafe smirked.
“You’re just jealous you got a one, bro.” Hudson chuckled.
He’d had five good rolls in a row before rolling a one and having to down his drink.
“What’s it gonna be, Intern?” Levi cocked a brow at me, challenge glittering in his dark gaze. He’d been quiet since we all crammed in around the table on their tour bus. He wasn’t playing, but he seemed happy enough watching the rest of us.
“I’m feeling lucky. I’ll go again.” Anticipation trickled up my spine. I was unsure about coming, knowing that I’d be stuck on the bus until Duke made a pitstop. But I couldn’t deny it felt nice to be accepted among them.
“Now we’re talking. Roll it, baby.” The point of the drinking seemed lost on Hudson, who was getting through his Jack and Cokes quicker than he could make them.
“You might want to slow down.” I eyed his half-full glass.
“Relax, Mom. It’s a celebration. Besides, there wasn’t time to fuck a groupie, so I need something to take off the edge. Unless you’re offering to go above and beyond your assistant duties.” His eyes narrowed, blazing with hunger.
“Hudson,” Rafe warned.
“Joke.” A wolfish grin tugged at his mouth. “I’m joking.” His eyes slid to Levi’s, the two of them locked in some kind of silent conversation.
Desperate to cut through the heavy tension, I rolled again. “Four. That’s sixteen. I’m gonna go again.”
“You’re tempting fate now, girl,” Letty said.
“I think I’ve got another roll in me.” Feeling confident, I rolled, letting out a frustrated groan when it landed a one.
“Now you gotta drink.” Hudson pushed my glass toward me. “Three turns so you gotta take three drinks. Or you could just drink the entire thing.”
Rolling my eyes, I brought the glass to my lips, overpowered by the bitter smell.
“Down in one, baby.”
I poked my tongue out at Hudson before downing the entire glass.
“Holy shit, a girl after my own heart.”
The liquor burned, making my eyes water, but I sucked it up. I wanted to prove to them—and myself—I had what it took to be here.
To be around Levi without skulking in the shadows. To be one of them.
“Something tells me Halstead has been holding out on us.” Hudson winked at me.
If only he knew.
“Letty, you’re up.”
Everyone took their turn. Letty got to thirty-five before she stopped and smugly handed the dice to Eva. She rolled a one and only had to sip her drink. By the time we’d all done another three turns, I was beginning to feel more than a little buzzed.
“A-ha.” I slammed my hand down on the table, snorting at Hudson’s one. He’d gotten greedy rolling seven times before finally hitting a one.
“You gotta down it, rock star. Every last drop.”
“I don’t think I like drunk Phoebe.”
“I’m not drunk, I’m just... chill.”
“Keep telling yourself that.” He chugged down his drink, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“This has been fun and all, but I think we’re going to call it a night,” Rafe said.