Phoebe chuckled again, her soft laughter like music to my fucking ears.
“Why?” I asked. I had to know, I needed to know.
“Because you’re trying. You’re here and you’re trying. That has to count for something, right?”
“Yeah, I think it does.” At least, I hoped it did.
“Can I ask you something though?” She peeked over at me. I nodded. “Were you high tonight?”
Fuck. She knew.
Of course she fucking knew.
Ever since she’d arrived on tour with us, Phoebe had been able to see me in a way most people didn’t.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “But it was only a little weed. I just needed something to take the edge off. I swear—”
“Levi, it’s okay. I trust you.”
She was high. That was the only explanation. Woozy on the cocktail of drugs they were giving her.
She trusted me?
I don’t think anyone had ever said those words to me.
And even though they meant more to me than anything else, I wanted to tell her that she was making a giant fucking mistake.
I couldn’t be trusted.
What addict could?
But I didn’t.
Like a child starved of attention, I latched onto her words and let them sink into me, filling up the emptiness I felt every day of my life.
I would fuck up again. I knew it, and deep-down Phoebe knew it. But right there, in that moment, neither of us wanted to acknowledge it.
“How’s our favorite patient?” Letty breezed into the room sometime later clutching a disposable coffee cup.
“She feels like someone took a tire iron to her skull,” Phoebe groaned, and I leaped up.
“Are you okay? Do I need to get the doctor?”
“Levi, relax. I’m okay.” She smiled and fuck, if it wasn’t like sunshine on a rainy day. “I figure the pain meds are starting to wear off. What time is it?”
“Late,” Letty said. “A little after two.”
“And they allow visitors this late?” She cocked a brow.
“Hmm, Levi—”
“What?” I shrugged, not liking the way Letty was looking at me. “They said someone could stay with her.”
“After you threatened to get the poor nurse fired.”
“Levi!” Phoebe looked at me with a strange mix of surprise and horror. “You did that?”
“They said I wasn’t family.” I shrugged.
Something in her expression softened. “I can’t believe you did that.” She was smiling now. “Can I get out of here soon?”
“I think we’re stuck here for the night, sorry. You have a pretty bad concussion, so they want to monitor you overnight.”
“Ugh, great.”
I squeezed her hand gently, and Letty raised a brow. “Something you two want to tell me?”
“I... uh,” Phoebe flushed trying to pull her hand away, but I wouldn’t let her.
“I’m staying,” I said.
“Levi, no,” Phoebe blurted. “You should go and get some rest.”
“You really think I’ll be able to sleep knowing you’re in here? Yeah, not happening.” I gave her a pointed look.
“Johnson and Stalter are right outside. The place is fairly quiet now so you should get some peace. You need to rest.” Letty looked at Phoebe. “And you,” her eyes slid to mine, “try not to threaten anymore staff. They’re here to help, okay?”
“Yes, Mom,” I grumbled.
“If you two don’t need anything else, I’m going to call the guys and let them know you’re all right.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I said. “For everything.” Letty didn’t get enough credit for putting up with our brand of crazy.
“I’ll see you both in the morning.” She gave us a small nod, her mouth tipped in a knowing smile.
The second she was gone, Phoebe turned to me. “You need to get some rest too.”
“No, I need to be here, with you.”
“At least try to sleep. Maybe they can wheel in a cot for you—”
“Ssh.” I pressed a finger to her lips. “I’ll be fine. In fact,” I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed her knuckles, “I’m going to sleep right here.”
Laying my head on her arm, I closed my eyes. Phoebe’s soft laughter washed over me like a warm blanket.
How did she do that?
How did she make my heart squeeze until it felt like I couldn’t breathe?
Phoebe Halstead might have been scared of me...
But I was fucking terrified of her.
Phoebe
I woke disorientated. There was a dull ache in my skull, and when I opened my eyes, the stream of sunlight was too harsh. But it wasn’t my head that worried me. It was the fact I could barely feel my arm. I glanced down to find Levi curled around it, holding on like it was his life raft, while he slept peacefully.
Memories of the night before slowly unfurled in my mind. The show, the meet and greet after. The out of control fangirls. The world tipping on its axis as I crashed into the table and fell.
Oh God.
How freaking embarrassing.
I could imagine the headline now: Intern PA get gets trampled on by Die Hearts stampede.
I let out a quiet groan. I’d known something felt different about the show in Phoenix. I just hadn’t expected I would end up in hospital with a concussion.
Gingerly, I tried to retrieve my dead arm from Levi’s death grip. He made a small whimpering sound, and I froze. Was he dreaming? It didn’t sound like a dream, more like a nightmare.
“Levi,” I whispered, stroking his hair with my other hand. “Levi, wake up.”
“Huh?” He shot up, rubbing his bleary eyes. “Oh, hey.”
“Hey.”
Silence descended over us as we both took in the gravity of the situation. I was in the hospital and Levi was here. He’d been here all night, glued to my bedside, after threatening the staff who tried to make him wait outside.
Jesus.
I really hoped Letty and the security team had locked staff into airtight NDAs because the last thing the band needed was this getting out.
“How are you feeling?” I asked him.
“Shit, Bee, isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
“I’m okay.”
“None of this is fucking okay,” he ground out, his eyes glittering dangerously.
“It was an accident, Levi. I’m fine, I promise.”
He reached for my hand, tangling our fingers together. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared as I was watching you fall. It was like I just froze. The whole world slowed down around me.”
The vulnerability in his voice gutted me. He didn’t look at me, but rather stared past me as if he was lost in his memories.
“Levi,” I said softly. “Come back to me.”
“Shit, sorry.” He dragged his other hand down his face.
“Where’d you go just now?”
“It doesn’t matter.” A faint smile traced his lips, but I saw the pain in his eyes. And I knew that whatever Levi had just been thinking about, wasn’t nothing.