Levi was high. Off his face on liquor and GHB. All because a girl—some deceptive little bitch—had spiked his drink to get her shot with the rock star. The thought made me sick to my stomach. It made me want to go back to the club and hunt her down. But Levi needed me here.
“Did you hear me, Bee? I fucking love you.”
God, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to latch onto those words and never let go. But he didn’t have a clue about what he was saying.
I knew enough about GHB to know that the right dose could make someone feel euphoric and extremely turned on. It wasn’t Zephyr’s poison of choice, but he’d taken it a couple of times at parties and it always ended in us fighting because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Once, I’d found him about to get his dick sucked by some skank in a bathroom. He’d been so fucking high, he thought it was me.
Pain stabbed through me. God, I’d put up with some crap, all because I was a girl in love with a guy who loved getting high.
I’d watched Zephyr pass out, have seizures, foam at the mouth, and be carted off by an ambulance more times that I could count. Being with an addict was like being the mistress in a relationship. Because their one true love would always be chasing the high.
When I’d finally walked away from him, I’d vowed never to find myself in the same situation.
Yet, here I was. In so deep with Levi Hunter, I didn’t know which way was up.
But there was something different about Levi. He didn’t get high to feel good or party all night or because he could. He did it to escape his monsters.
He did it to survive.
It didn’t make it any better or easier or safer... but it did go some way to explaining his addiction.
And tonight, he hadn’t let himself fall into the darkness. He’d immediately removed himself from all temptation.
That had to count for something, didn’t it?
“Bee, I need you.” He kissed me again, just a faint brush of his lips against mine. His fingers stroked my throat, tender and teasing.
“Levi, we shouldn’t—”
Resistance was futile. Levi was too high to hear the word no. Too overpowered by the chemicals coursing through his system.
“You make it all quiet, Bee. You settle my soul.” His intense gaze burned into mine. His pupils were blown, the heat rolling off him in powerful waves.
“You won’t remember this in the morning,” I said around a sad smile.
“Wrong.” He shook his head. “I remember everything about you, honeybee. I remember the way you cry my name. How hot and tight you feel as I slide inside you. I remember how sweet you taste... I’ll remember, Bee. Because you’re already in here.” He tapped his temple.
My eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed at his words, the situation. Levi was starved of affection. He’d never been given the unconditional love of a mother. Those early attachment bonds had never settled into place, and now his emotions were all confused, his wiring all wrong.
But when I opened my eyes and saw him watching me, I felt it. I felt his love for me punch me right in the gut.
“Levi, I—”
His mouth crashed down on mine, stealing the air from my lungs and all rational thought from my brain. His touch was desperate, needy and feral. His fingers touched and pressed and grabbed, as if he might never get this feeling again and wanted to cling onto it for as long as possible.
“Fuck, Bee, you’re so fucking sexy, I can’t get enough of you.” His words were slurred, low and rough. He peppered my face with kisses. Hot, wet, clumsy kisses that left me breathless and wanting.
My head was screaming at me to stop him, to take the high road and stop this madness. But my body was a tight ball of sensation, all too happy to drown in his touch; and my heart, my heart was a runaway train heading straight for disaster.
“Off.” He grunted, clawing at my dress. “This needs to come off.” We barely broke the kiss so he could peel my dress over my head. My hands pushed his jeans down over his hips, my fingertips grazing his hardness.
“Fuuuuck, Bee. I need inside you, I can’t wait. I swear to fucking God I’ll die if I don’t get inside you in the next two seconds.” Levi grabbed my panties and tore them clean off my body before picking me up and pressing me against the nearest wall. He didn’t even give me warning, just sank inside me. I whimpered, scratching my nails over his shoulders. It was too much. His touch. His punishing rhythm. The way he knew exactly how to play my body to make me cry his name.
His mouth dropped to my collarbone, sucking and kissing the skin there, leaving a trail of hickeys I knew I would regret tomorrow. But I couldn’t stop myself.
I couldn’t stop him.
The innate part of me that wanted to fix him, wanted him to take whatever he needed from me. If it wasn’t me, I knew he’d probably have found another girl to lose himself in tonight. Maybe the blonde from the club, maybe some other girl who only wanted her one night with a rock star. Or maybe he would have continued drinking, taking more drugs, until he passed out... or worse.
A shiver ran through me, and I pulled Levi closer into my body. He walked such a dangerous tightrope, all recovering addicts did.
“Levi, it’s... God...” I cried as he continued fucking me against the wall. His eyes were black, his body coated in sweat. It was like he was possessed, lost to the euphoria and soul-crushing hunger.
“I need more, Bee... I need...” He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his body trembling.
Panic rose inside me. “Levi?” I tried to nudge him back. “Levi.”
“I’m okay,” he murmured. “I just need...”
“Lay me down,” I said, softly.
He stilled, inhaling a harsh breath. Cradling me against his body, Levi carried me to the bed and lay me down. He stood there, looming over me, his dark eyes trailing a blazing path over my body as he stroked himself.
Levi’s knee landed on the bed and he crawled over me, kissing up my body as he went. He stared down at me. “Promise me, Bee. Promise me that you’ll never leave me.”
“Levi, I...” The words were right there, on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t do it.
“Say it.” He kissed me hard and deep, letting his tongue plunder my mouth, as he rocked slowly into me. We both groaned, the connection so powerful, it swept us in its devastation.
Desperate hands grabbed my thighs, spreading me wide as he went harder... deeper, trying to reach inside me and leave a mark. “Say it, Bee. Fucking say it.” His words were thick, drowsy, as he continued driving inside me.
My legs ached, my body lax and pliant beneath him. But he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop after I clenched around him, crying out his name over and over. He kept going, chasing the high. The fall. The bittersweet climax.
Eventually, Levi let out a guttural roar, jerking inside me. His body collapsed on top of me, rolling to the side. “Fuck, baby girl,” he crooned, slipping into unconsciousness. “That was... fuck.”
My eyes stung with tears. He didn’t know it was me anymore. I could have been any girl, any body, warm, wet, and willing.
I slipped out of bed and hurried into the bathroom to clean up. I was a mess, covered in bite marks and bruises. After I was done, I wrapped myself in a fluffy hotel robe, got a glass of water and went back into the bedroom. Levi was out cold. I rolled him into the recovery position, checked his breathing, and placed the glass of water on the side. Then I curled up in the chair and watched him sleep, knowing that tonight, I would get none.