She’d been quiet since breakfast. We’d had an impromptu brunch with Dowager. He’d wanted to apologize, and personally reassure us that Milligan would be dealt with.
“It’s only an online blogger connecting dots. Their source said they saw you and Hud looking pretty cozy last night.”
My fist clenched... jealousy sweeping through me. But I forced myself to breathe. This was the plan. Let people think Phoebe was his. Because Hudson didn’t date. He didn’t ever get caught with the same girl twice. Besides, as Letty had pointed out, Hudson had that way with women. He flirted, was touchy feely, a real charmer. He could have been jumping in to defend Phoebe because she was our assistant. Because he cared. Not because they were fucking.
“Let them talk. It’s nothing that hasn’t been spewed across the media a hundred times before. We don’t mind being famous.” He grabbed his junk, and the girls all muttered their disapproval.
“You know Molly will never want—”
“Don’t,” Hudson growled, his whole demeanor shifting. Molly was a sore subject. His Achilles heel, not that he’d ever admit it.
Damon stood up. “You need to man the hell up and admit you want her, before it’s too late”. He stomped off down the bus and disappeared into the bathroom.
“What the hell crawled up his ass and died?”
“It’s his mom,” Rafe said.
“Oh, fuck. Fuck.” Hudson’s expression softened.
“Yeah.”
“I need to lie down.” My head was pounding from all the talking and thinking. “Bee?”
“It’s the middle of the day.” Phoebe’s brows knitted with concern.
“So? We’re rock stars. If we want to sleep all day and party all night, that’s our prerogative.” It was supposed to be a joke, but she didn’t laugh. In fact, she didn’t smile at all. “Please.” I pouted, giving zero fucks that my brother and his girl, Hudson, and Letty were watching our interaction.
“Fine, fine.” She gave me a small nod. “I’m just going to get a glass of water and I’ll be there, okay?”
“Don’t make me wait too long.” I leaned in, brushing my lips over her cheek. I could feel myself crashing. Maybe it was the prolonged come down from the G, or maybe it was the fact I was bone-weary, but I needed to close my eyes for a second and just breathe.
“Go,” she said, when I didn’t move. “I’ll be right there.”
“Promise?” I whispered.
Phoebe smiled, the small action settling something inside me. “Promise.”
Phoebe
I let out a weary sigh as we watched Levi walk away and disappear into the bedroom at the end of the bus.
“You good?” Rafe asked me. My brows went up and he chuckled. “I think I owe you an apology.”
“You don’t—”
“Yeah, I do. I was a dick. But he’s my brother and he’s just so... so fucking complicated. This, the two of you... I won’t lie, it scares me.”
“You’re not the only one.” My gaze darted away from him, falling to my hands as I tried to regulate my racing heart.
This morning had really happened. Levi had outed us to Alistair with little thought to whether I was ready. I knew it was just something he needed to do, something he needed to believe in me, in us. But I was still trying to process what it meant.
“Maybe this is a good thing. It’ll give him focus, something else to obsess over.” Hudson leaned back against the curved bench that ran along one side of the bus and stretched his arms behind his head.
“That’s what I’m worried about,” Rafe said, eyeing me with concern.
“I should probably...” I flicked my head toward the closed bedroom door.
“You don’t have to go after him, not if you need space.”
“Yeah,” I gave Letty a strained smile, “I do.” Because I’d made a promise to Levi, and I couldn’t be another person to let him down.
Running myself a glass of water, I moved down the bus and slipped inside the bedroom. Levi was already sprawled out on his back, his eyes closed, and hands tucked behind his head.
“You’re pissed with me.” He didn’t look at me.
“I’m not. I’m just confused.”
“About me?”
“About everything,” I admitted. “I didn’t anticipate any of this, Levi. When I came here, I didn’t expect to...” I hesitated.
“What, Bee?” Finally, he gave me his eyes.
“I didn’t expect to fall for you.”
“Come here.” Levi crooked his finger at me, and I kicked off my pumps and joined him on the bed. He pulled me into his side, stroking his hand up and down my arm.
“I won’t apologize for what happened earlier, with Alistair.”
I peeked up at him.
“I’m not ashamed of you, Bee. You make me want to try to do better, to be better. I know you’re scared. I know everyone is just waiting for me to screw up again. And maybe I will. Maybe I’ll fuck this up before the tour is over. But I can’t let you go.”
“I don’t want you to.” My confession hung in the space between us.
“No?” Levi pinned me with an intense look.
I shook my head. “But next time you’re hurting or confused. I need for you to talk to me, not run off into the arms of the first girl you see.”
“Technically, I didn’t run—”
“Not the point.” I gave him a pointed look.
Levi had made a huge step last night in removing himself from a volatile situation. I knew it meant something, and I knew he needed to see me putting my trust in him. But it didn’t change the fact that when things didn’t go his way, Levi lashed out like a petulant child who couldn’t deal with his emotions.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he said, and part of me wanted to test his offer of candor. But there was one specific question I had on my mind.
“Why have you never had a girlfriend before?”
“Is that what you are, Bee? My girlfriend?” The corner of Levi’s mouth curved with amusement. He was teasing me.
“I don’t need a label. So long as you don’t touch any other girls while we’re... together.” I watched his reaction to the word, but I found nothing but awe and honesty and acceptance.
This was really happening.
Levi Hunter was as good as my boyfriend.
“You’re broken, Bee, like me. You think I don’t see the shadows in your eyes, but I do. Your hair and ink and piercings; they’re armor, aren’t they?
“I—” He knew. Levi knew my secret and he’d never said a word.
“It’s okay, if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“I watched Zephyr almost die,” the words were like ash on my tongue. “And it was all my fault.”
Levi tried to look at me, but I kept my body plastered to his. “I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t watch him destroy his life, destroy us. So I tried to leave. I knew it was the coward’s way out, to just sneak out and leave a note. But I couldn’t...” Tears slid down my cheeks as I let myself remember.