“Levi, please... just hear me out.” Panic washed over her expression. But I couldn’t think straight.
“I need to get out of here,” I blurted out, grabbing the door handle.
“Wait,” she cried. “He said he’s going to have me pulled from the tour; that’s what we were arguing about.”
Her words echoed through me.
“It’s not up to him.” The words were a low growl.
“He says he has enough pull with the label to make it happen. Either way, he’ll out us and they’ll want me off your assignment. Alistair warned us this could happen.”
I glanced back at her, hating the tears streaming down her cheeks. I wanted to go to her, to pull her into my arms and kiss them all away. But the little voice in my head had become a loud scream.
She’d kept me a secret.
Hidden me from her father, the one person she had left in the world.
Phoebe hadn’t stood up and fought for us, for me... because you’re not worth it.
“Maybe it’s better this way.” The words were out before I could stop them. I needed to get out of there before my anger exploded.
“Levi,” she shook her head violently, tears running down her cheeks, “no—”
“We always knew this was only temporary, Intern.” I always knew fairy tales didn’t come true.
“But I- I love you. I’m yours.” She sobbed harder, the sound splintering my chest wide open.
“No,” I breathed, “you’re not.”
Maybe you never were.
“What?” I barked at my bandmates as they all sat quietly, watching me.
An hour after I’d walked out on Phoebe, Alistair had summoned us to the suite. He wanted to deliver the news personally.
Phoebe was off the tour.
“That’s some bullshit, right there,” Hudson said.
“Who’s her dad again?”
“It’s doesn’t matter who he is or isn’t.” Alistair let out a heavy sigh. “The point is she’s off the staff. There’s nothing we can do.”
“Bullshit.” My boot flew at the table, sending everyone’s drinks flying.
“You need to relax.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to relax,” I snarled at Rafe.
“So where is she now?”
“She already left.” Letty’s eyes drilled holes into the top of my head. But I couldn’t meet her gaze.
Phoebe was gone.
Because her father demanded it.
Because the label demanded it.
Because you told her she wasn’t yours.
I shut the voice down. This wasn’t on me. It wasn’t.
Was it?
Fuck, nothing made sense. My anger and pain were a wildfire inside me, making my blood boil and my skin itch.
She was gone.
My honeybee had left.
“I need to find her.” I leaped up, and Rafe and Hudson shot up too.
“That’s not a good idea, man,” Hud held up his hands. “Let’s just think about this. I’m sure Alistair can talk to the label. Right, Ali boy?”
But when I glanced at him, his expression said it all. The decision was made.
“Fuck.” I jammed my fingers in my hair and raked them over my skull. “She’s really gone?”
The fight began to seep out of me, and I dropped down in the chair.
I couldn’t stand the six pity stares all trained on me. It was like hundreds of thousands of ants crawling under my skin.
“What?” I barked.
“Levi,” Eva said softly. “We’ll figure this out. There has to be a way to—”
“There isn’t, okay?” I leaped up again, unable to stand it. Their sympathy. Their concerned fucking gazes. “She’s gone. She fucking left me and nothing about this is okay.” Before I knew it, I’d stormed across the room to the door.
“Levi, now is not the time to—”
“Hudson?” I snapped.
“Yeah, man?”
“Do everyone a favor and go fuck yourself.” Damn near ripping the door of its hinges, I barged past Johnson and didn’t look back.
I couldn’t sit in there for a second longer. Not with them watching me, talking in circles like it was going to change anything.
Phoebe was gone.
And although I wanted to blame her, to pin this fucking shitshow all on her...
I knew I couldn’t.
“This isn’t a good idea,” Johnson said over my shoulder as I wandered down the street. I had no fucking idea where I was going but I needed the fresh air on my face, what little of it was visible from my poor attempt at a disguise—a ball cap and sunglasses. I looked like a fucking idiot, strolling the streets of downtown Des Moines. But I didn’t care.
Finally spotting a bar, I slipped inside and took a seat at the counter.
“What can I get you?”
“Levi,” Johnson moved behind me, but I ignored him, answering the bartender. “Double vodka on the rocks please.”
Johnson cussed under his breath, but he didn’t try to stop me. He’d been with me long enough to know there was no getting through to me when I was like this.
The bartender pushed the drink toward me, and I gave him a tight nod, staring at the glass like it held all the answers to the universe.
Vodka had always been her poison of choice. I could still smell the foul scent on her breath as she leaned in close, whispering her words of hatred at me. I was just a kid, a boy. I didn’t understand why she hated me, but I knew. I knew it right down to my soul.
Nursing the glass, I brought it to my nose, inhaling deeply. Just the smell turned my stomach. My hand trembled violently as I clutched the glass. If I could just drink it, if I could just separate her from this moment, maybe I could finally put my past to rest.
I could finally break free of that bitch’s hold on me after all these years.
Phoebe
“Where are you?” Letty asked.
I clutched my cell phone in my hand, trying to smother the tears threatening to fall. I was surprised I had any left after the two-hour cry-a-thon I’d had since fleeing the band’s hotel and checking into a motel just outside the city.
“I’m at The Lonestar Motel.”
“Phoebe, what the fuck are you doing in a motel?”
“I panicked. After the lady from HR called and told me I was being relocated effective immediately, I just... I ran.”
“This is a fucking mess,” she breathed. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“I- I don’t know. Everything happened so quickly and I... crap, Letty, I really messed this up.”
“You didn’t. This is not your fault.”
“I should have told him. I should have explained—”
“Nothing you could have said or done would have changed the outcome. Your father is an asshole by the way.”
“You spoke to him?”
“Called him myself,” she said with an air of pride. “I tried to reason with him, explain that you’re a valuable member of the team. But he’s adamant, you’re off the band’s assignment.”
“I can’t believe you did that.”