“Hey, it’s okay.” Phoebe smoothed her finger over my knitted brows, making some of tension in my expression ebb away. “We don’t have to.”
“I want to. Fuck, Bee, I really, really want to... I just...” Darkness swarmed inside me, the urge to get up and run so fucking strong.
All I could hear was my mother’s voice, taunting me. Mocking me. Reducing me to nothing but a series of cruel words.
Useless.
Worthless.
Evil.
Monster.
“Let me,” she said, knocking me onto my back. Standing, Phoebe shimmied out of her underwear, and I was so fucking captivated by the way she wore her skin. So confident and sure of herself.
She was a goddess.
My little warrior.
I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to put into words what she meant to me. What her faith in me to be better, meant.
She crawled onto the end of the bed, slowly pulling my boxers off, her eyes fixated on my dick as it stood proud, desperate for her touch.
“You okay?” Her voice was cracked with lust.
I nodded, unable to speak over the huge fucking lump in my throat.
Phoebe sat over me, grasping my shaft and slowly sinking down on me. We both groaned, the feel of her tight around me mind blowing.
“Fuck, Bee,” I rasped, smoothing my hands along her thighs as she settled above me. “You’re the light to my dark, the star in dark skies. You’re the voice that I hear, when things don’t go right. The angel on my shoulder, I can’t let you go...”
“What was that?” Phoebe asked.
I frowned, not realizing I’d been murmuring the lyrics forming in my head. “Nothing. Are you going to sit up there all day or are you going to—”
She rolled her hips, circling them nice and slow.
“Fuuuuck,” I hissed, grabbing her waist, wanting more. Needing it.
“No.” She shook her head. “Let me...”
Hands pressed against my chest, Phoebe rode me slow and deep. I fisted the bedsheets, forcing myself not to take control, to simply revel in the feel of her owning my body. Taking what she needed.
“It’s feels... fuck.” My voice was rough against my throat, my body coiled tight with sensation, my veins swimming with liquid lust. She was so fucking beautiful.
She wasn’t here because she wanted me for my fame and fortune or her five minutes in the spotlight.
I felt like the luckiest guy on the planet, brought to my knees by a girl with ink on her skin and scars on her heart.
“Fuck, Bee...” I rasped, barely able to get the words out. She felt divine, wrapped around my dick like velvet.
And I never wanted it to end.
“I’m so close,” Phoebe panted, her eyelids heavy and lips parted.
“Use me, Bee. Take what you need,” I gritted out, desperately fighting off my own release to make sure she came first.
“It’s... God, Levi...”
“I know, honeybee, I know.” I couldn’t resist thrusting up inside her, making her cry out.
She was close, so fucking close.
But it was like something was holding her back. Sliding a hand between our bodies, I pressed my thumb against her clit and rubbed, and she shattered.
I curved my hand around her neck and pulled her down to me, capturing her lips and swallowing her cries of pleasure.
“I love you, Levi,” she said.
Her words, the way she gripped me inside of her, her sweet as sin kisses; it was enough to tip me over the edge.
I held her close as we rode out the lingering waves. The words were right there, stronger than ever. But the second I opened my mouth, fear made me clam up and they died on the tip of my tongue.
“It’s okay,” Phoebe whispered, as if she could sense my inner turmoil. She pressed a kiss to my breastbone right over my heart, tracing the mark with her finger.
“I can wait.”
Phoebe
After my emotional meltdown, Levi spent every possible second trying to show me how much he cared. We’d become that couple, unable to keep our hands off one another. Finding as many ways as possible to be together.
We hung out with the band after shows or, if it was a night off, we escaped to Levi’s hotel room and lost ourselves in one another.
After that night, the night where Levi had handed me control, he let me take the lead more often. Trusting me not only with his heart, but his body. But he still didn’t say the words.
He still hadn’t told me he loved me.
I felt it though. I felt it every time he looked at me, but something was holding him back.
I vowed to give him space, to arrive at things in his own time. But I couldn’t deny that every time I said the words and he didn’t say them back, another little piece of my heart withered and died.
There was only one show left until we made the journey back for the two final shows in Atlanta, home of Razorsharp Records HQ. Then we planned to fly straight out to Long Island after the wrap party the label had organized at The Riff Bar, one of the most exclusive clubs in downtown Atlanta.
I’d been caught off guard when the guys had all started talking about the trip as if it was a given I would be there. I mean, I wanted to go, but the way they just included me, as if I was part of their family now... it touched something deep inside me.
After the trip, everyone was taking two weeks to do their own thing. Eva and Rafe were heading back to Lyme, Tennessee, to spend some time with her parents. Damon was going to see his mom. Hudson was doing whatever Hudson did during his downtime. And Levi hadn’t said anything yet about his plans. Part of me wanted to ask him to come back to Nashville with me. I had a cute little apartment we could hide away in, spending lazy days in bed, ordering takeout and enjoying life away from the spotlight. But I didn’t want him to feel obliged.
There was also the small problem of my father. He still didn’t know about the band, let alone Levi. And I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. But I knew I had to tell him eventually.
I just hadn’t figured out how.
“Hey.” Letty breezed into the suite. “Did you email HR back? They need to finalize the travel plans.”
“Yep, I did it this morning.”
“Awesome.” She sank down on the couch.
“Are you sure the label still wants me—”
“We’ve been through this.” She gave me a pointed look. “I want you on the tour. The band want you. I doubt we’ll even get Levi onto a plane if you’re not there, and Alistair will go along with whatever keeps him happy. When it eventually comes out that you and Levi are together, we’ll deal with it then, okay?”
I nodded, swallowing the doubts I had.
“It’ll be okay, Phoebe,” Letty added. “You should be excited. Not many interns get this opportunity.”
“I know, and I am. Excited, I mean. I just...”
“You’re scared.” I nodded, and Letty gave me a warm smile. “You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t. But I have a good feeling about everything.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. The band is in a good place. I know a lot has happened, but with Eva on the tour, and now you, I don’t know… it finally feels like things are slotting into place.”
“Thank you, Letty, for everything.” She had taken me under her wing, but more than that, she had become a friend. Something I didn’t have all too much experience with.