Chapter 1
AXE
I down the scalding cup of coffee over the sink with one eye on the screen of my cell as I reply with a funny emoji to the last ‘good morning’ GIF Lennox, my oldest nephew, sent me in our group chat and I smile, shaking my head as I immediately get bombarded with a few more animojis from his younger brothers, four-year-old Robert and two-year-old Paul.
Considering they’re toddlers, most of their texts are just gibberish unless they are recording or sending emoticons, but Lennox, at six years, actually types small sentences and has gotten into the habit of texting me first thing in the morning. It’s too damn cute and makes me miss them more than I can say.
Juggling two jobs and pulling 14-hour-long shifts almost every day, weekends included, I haven’t spent time with my nephews as much as we’re used to in the last two months or so. We are a small, but very tight-knit family and the kids were starting to miss me too, so Luna, my sister, came up with the idea of the group chat so we could keep on interacting, even if I’m not around.
I don’t know when, if ever, things will go back to normal, but in any case it doesn’t look like it will be soon.
I work as a service dog trainer for one of the biggest foundations in Boston, ‘Pawfect Friend’, but recently the charity has fallen on hard times and most of the staff had to be let go.
One of the directors was embezzling money and nearly ran the foundation into the ground. By the time they caught up with his dirty dealings and put an end to them, there was no money left to recover and while we got the satisfaction to see that piece of shit behind bars, the charity barely managed to stay afloat and has been floundering for months now.
It will take our management quite some time to regain what was lost in terms of funds and in order to keep our training facilities in working conditions, all the personnel that could be spared was let go or left because they could not take the pay cut that came with retaining their positions.
As of right now, Pawfect Friend is working at minimum capacity with just a couple of us dog trainers still in place, a single caretaker and the help of the volunteers.
I’ve been training service dogs for children with special needs for eight years and I could not see myself doing anything else with my life and despite the unfortunate behavior of that thieving douchebag that nearly destroyed the foundation, I still believe in our mission. Leaving them in their moment of need was out of the question; I stayed on and decided to devolve my salary back to them each month so that we could keep a few more trainee dogs in our program and at the same time ensure the best possible conditions for them while they are in our care.
Currently, I’m training Didar, an energetic eight-month-old Siberian Husky male puppy.
Some days he drives me insane because he is just too spirited and doesn’t like to stay still more than sixty seconds, but despite his lack of inner calm, he is intelligent and passionate, eager to please and willing to learn so I just know he will grow to not only be the eyes, but the best friend of someone; he has the perfect attitude and instincts to become a loyal guide dog and I feel deep in my heart that he’s gonna shine light and happiness into the darkness of some kid’s life when the time comes so I’m giving him my undivided attention.
The only issue with my decision was that I still had to find a way to keep a roof over my head, pay rent, bills and stuff, and that’s where Nate, my brother-in-law, came in handy: he owns a construction company and offered me a job in one of his sites, so now I work there from eight to four and then, after a quick shower and a bite to eat, it’s straight to Pawfect Friend until ten p.m. for me.
By the time I’m done, I’m beat and the only thing I want is fall face first down on my bed, hence the lack of free time or personal life.
If one of the friends I no longer have time to see, had told me a month ago that in such a hectic hot mess with zero social ventures in the outside world, I would have found the time to fall head over heels in love with an unattainable and beautiful woman that stars in the hottest wet dreams ever known to human imagination every time I close my eyes, I would have laughed them out of the room, but, incredibly enough, it happened.
Apparently, sometimes you don’t need to go far to find your one true love, the only woman that has ever made you feel like you could have a future, like happiness could really be in your grasp if you just held her, no: sometimes she just happens to move across the hall from you and becomes pivotal in your life and the center of every single one of the emotions and needs that run through you even if you only get to see her for a couple of minutes a day, even if you know nothing about her aside from her name.
Tess Fetchin, even her name is pretty and seems to call to me and everything I hold dear, but I could never have someone like her.
I don’t need to know my beautiful, genteel neighbor better to be sure of it, despite the inexplicable depth of my feelings for her.
I’m rough and big and work with my hands and more often than not, I come back to my lonely apartment covered in dirt and sweat, while she is some type of doctor, according to some of the mail that has been misdirected to my address.
She barely reaches my chest with the top of her head of shoulder-length coffee-colored hair, her delicate-looking peach complexion makes her look like a little doll, the effect only enhanced by her large honey-brown eyes.
Tess’s lovely and dainty but her small, compact body packs a set of curves a man as big as I am could hold on to, and she has the power to turn me rock-hard with the smallest of innocent actions like biting into her full lower lip without the tiniest trace of guile, tucking a strand of that shiny dark hair behind her ear or lowering her eyes until her long black lashes flutter against the pink of her cheeks.
She’s so sweet-looking, I feel like a bastard for the things that run through my mind every time I see her, but I can’t stop even if I know that nothing could ever come of it.
We are like day and night and besides, every time I’m in her company, I turn into this bumbling, blathering fool I can barely recognize.
I’m by no stretch of the imagination a ladies’ man, but I’m not socially inept either and even though I’ve been alone for the last couple of years, I’ve never lacked those skills that can score you a date with a pretty girl, but with Tess I know that even if I tried, I would fail.
Thirty seconds in her presence, surrounded by her fresh, green scent that makes me think of summer rain and grass, and my heart is pounding, my mouth is dry, my hands are fucking shaking, the back of my neck turns hot and my brain fills with this never-ending slide-show of me backing her up against the nearest wall, lifting her off her feet and holding her tight until her curves are plastered to my chest while I kiss her hard and deep.
Not exactly stuff that’s conducive to intelligent speech.
If I was a sane man, I would avoid running into her as much as possible: she holds too much power over me already and I know I can’t have her no matter how much I want to take her under me, but I must be a sucker for punishment when it comes to her, ‘cause I do my damnedest to catch at least a glimpse of her every day when I go out.
She’s bad for me and at the same time so, so fucking good for me, I can’t escape this want; the need to be in her presence is too damn strong and I’ve come to crave the sweet pain that squeezes my heart every time I’m near her.