“It’s good to be free.”
And that’s the truth. Every step so far has been like a prison. I haven’t felt like I’m allowed to do anything, and for a free spirit like me, that’s soul destroying.
“Hi.” Aria walks toward me with a bouncing baby in her arms. She’s so tiny and dainty. “Welcome to the mad house.”
“Hi. Is this Sharlynn?”
“It is.”
Sharlynn instantly locks her eyes on Clay and Caleb. Clay pushes Caleb’s hands away from taking his daughter and reaches for his niece. She practically bounces into his arms. I can’t take my eyes off Clay and the baby; they’re adorable. I reach out to take the little one’s hand in mine.
“She has everyone wrapped around her little finger.” Aria rolls her eyes. “Come and get a seat.”
I’m glad Aria said that. I would never say I needed to sit down first.
Clay’s mom walks out of what I believe is the kitchen, with oven gloves in her hand. “Shay, welcome home, darling.” She kisses my cheek softly and holds my face in her hands to look at me. “I can’t believe everything you’ve been through, but you’ve got us all on your side now. I know my boys will do everything they can to help you.”
“They already are, Mrs. Shawland.”
“Please, call me, Mom. You’re as good as family now. Sit down and I’ll get you a hot drink and some freshly baked muffins.”
“I could get used to this.”
“Clay said you like chocolate, so I’m afraid I’ve gone a little OTT with chocolate muffins, chocolate cookies, chocolate cake.” She shakes her head at herself and laughs.
“Oh, wow! I’m going to need Chris’s personal training sooner rather than later at this rate.”
Clay catches my arm. “Short stuff, this is Amber and Mike, two of our employees that are helping with your case.”
“Nice to put a face to the names. I’ve heard so much about you guys.”
“Likewise. Welcome home, soldier.” Mike salutes me.
I feel my heart melt. I never expected everyone to be so kind and welcoming.
“Mike and Amber are ex forces too,” Clay explains.
I nod. “Once in the forces, always in the forces,” I mumble, more to myself than anyone.
I sit down on the couch and Clay sits beside me with Sharlynn still in his arms. She’s pulling the hood on his jacket as we speak.
“Can I?” I hold my hands out for the baby.
“Sure.” Clay hands her over to me and she comes willingly. I’m glad she isn’t a strange little girl. I guess I’m not surprised with the big family she’s a part of.
“Hi, gorgeous. You look just like your mommy.”
I’ve heard all about Aria’s story. I think we’ve got more in common than we probably realize. It’s just good to see that Aria, Caleb, and Sharlynn have got a happy ever after. I hope I can have that one day.
I look around the room, and everyone’s eyes are on me and Sharlynn. I can see the love and pride. They might never have given up looking for me, but right here, I can see that they thought they’d never see this moment. I don’t blame them, because I never thought I’d be here either.
***
Later that night, all wiped out after an exhausting day, I finally snuggle down into bed with a Kindle Aria left for me. Clay must have told her that I love books, because this Kindle is loaded with lots of goodness. It will keep my mind occupied when I’ve got nothing else to do.
A soft knock on the door has me looking up from my Kindle to see Clay leaning against the doorframe. He has a cheeky smile on his face. A smile I’ve never forgotten.
“Can I get you anything before I call it a night?” asks Clay.
I shake my head. “No. I’m good.”
He nods. “Okay then.” He looks reluctant to leave, and I really don’t want him to leave either. “Goodnight, short stuff.” He pushes off the doorframe to leave.
“Clay,” I say quickly.
He looks over his shoulder and raises his eyebrows.
“Stay. Come and sit down.” I pat the bed beside me.
He walks over to me slowly, sits on the edge of my bed, and squeezes my leg through the covers.
“You okay?”
I nod again. “You’ve turned into a good family man, Shaw.”
Clay laughs and rubs at his chin. “Yeah, I guess I have. It’s good for the soul, babe.”
I only have his word for that, but I will never take family for granted again.
“What’s running through that head of yours?” He tilts his head to look at me.
“You always could read me well.” I reach over and take his hand in mine. “I don’t know, I think I’m just overwhelmed by everything. Looking around at what you’ve done for yourself, this could be me, but I threw it all away for a job that consumed me.”
“You never threw anything away. I’m still here. I might have been a civilian for a lot longer, but you can catch up. That’s if you want that.”
“I do. I want it all, but I’m not sure how, Clay. Our lives are so different. You’re settled. I’m a mess. I can’t even look after myself.”
“You don’t need to look after yourself. You have a family that wants to help. So, tell me what’s really going on.” Clay moves closer to me and places his hand on my cheek. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
I lean forward and bring our mouths together, taking what I need. I know it’s selfish because I don’t have much to offer Clay right now, but I need to feel this connection with no interruptions.
We remain connected for the longest time. Clay’s hand tightens in my hair, but he pulls back and leans his head against mine. “God, I’ve missed you, honey. I thought I’d only have this connection again in my dreams.”
“You dreamed about me?” I ask with a smile.
“All the damn time. You consumed my thoughts awake and asleep.”
“Nice to know.” I look into Clay’s eyes. His pupils are dilated, sparkling from the glow of the lamp beside me. “Stay with me, Clay. In this bed. Don’t leave.”
“Is that what you want? Because I’m not going anywhere. I want you to take this at your own pace.”
“I won’t sleep without you beside me, Clay.”
“I don’t think I’ll sleep upstairs knowing you’re down here either.”
“What are you waiting for?”
Clay stands up and rounds my bed. He climbs in beside me and I nestle into his arms. I’ve never felt as safe and protected as I do right now.
“Clay.”
“Yeah.”
“I used to dream about you, too.”
“Good to know, babe. Now get some sleep.” He reaches over and turns off my bedside lamp, and I close my eyes instantly. It doesn’t take long for the warmth and the beating of Clay’s heart to settle me into a peaceful slumber.
Chapter 24
Clay
I’ve had Shay at home for two days. Today is the first morning that Chris knocked on the door at eight a.m. to start Shay’s therapy. She went eagerly over to the gym with him without a backwards glance. I’m glad she’s getting used to Chris, because he’s a big teddy bear. He will help anyone, but he never pushes himself into someone’s life. This will be good for him too. Besides, I think Shay could really use some different company. She must be sick of the sight of me already.