Chapter 25
Shay
The last few days have flown by too quickly. I’ve been determined to make this stupid award ceremony, only because I won’t be seen as hiding away. I’ll never hide. I’ll always face my fate, no matter what it might be. And, no matter what, I deserve that fucking medal of honor. It’s the least the army can do.
“How are you feeling?” asks Chris.
I shrug.
“You pushed yourself this weekend. I hope it was worth it.”
I look up at Chris as he sits opposite me on Clay’s couch. He holds his hands together in front of him and rubs them together.
“To walk down that aisle to get my medal will be worth it.” I sigh. “It isn’t just about adding another medal to my collection. I couldn’t give a shit about that. It’s just the idea of everyone thinking that I’m weak or hiding from the army that’s making me want to do it. I need to show the whole goddamn world that I’m alive. I’m well. And I’m making a full recovery. What they did to me in Iraq…” I take in a deep breath. “Well, it will take a lot more than that to break me.”
If I keep telling myself that, I might start to believe it. I am alive. I am making a recovery, but the nightmares are very real. I won’t be broken. I will bounce back from this, starting today.
Chris nods. “I’m proud of you, Shay. I’ve watched bigger men crumble because of less. I can’t say I know what you’re going through, but I’m here if you ever need me.”
“How? Who were the bigger men?”
I don’t know anything about Chris, but since he’s been training me daily, I’ve come to like and admire him. He’s very different to Clay and Caleb, but he makes the trio what they are.
“Before Shawland Security, I ran my own gym. I trained fighters. Most of those fighters were ex-army, doing what they’ve come to know – fight. Some of them got off on the pain. Without that pain, they couldn’t function. My job was to make sure they could be strong enough to withstand that pain and get through each day. The training was tough, but the rewards were greater. I got work from a local therapist after I helped her brother. Ex-army, fighting in illegal rings. He couldn’t get a break. I taught him to fight legally. He’s now in Vegas fighting, middleweight champion the last time I spoke with him.”
I take in a deep breath. Wow! There really is more to Chris than meets the eye. “So, me pushing myself this weekend wasn’t something you haven’t witnessed before?”
Chris shakes his head. “You were tame in comparison, but you had that same drive. That same determination. That’s why I stood by you and let go of the reins.”
“You didn’t expect me to fall like my family did?”
Chris shakes his head. “Any one of us would have been there to catch you, but no. I’ll never underestimate what goes through a soldier’s head. What they’ve been through to get them here. No one can ever tell someone to slow it down. You had a goal in your head, and you went for it. You need to set more goals and tick them off one by one. That’s the way to a healthy recovery.”
A throat clearing to my side has Chris and I sitting up straighter. I look over to see Clay, my mom and dad, Caleb, and Aria standing around the breakfast bar. I never even heard them coming in. I must have been so engrossed in everything Chris and I were talking about. After today, I’ll make it my goal to talk to Chris every day about himself, because it’s good to talk about normal things.
I look back at Chris. “Thank you, Chris. For everything.”
“Anytime. Now, let’s get you out to the SUV.”
I gaze over at my wheelchair. It has become a part of me since I’ve been home, but today, it isn’t even coming to the army barracks with me. I’m walking. Well, I’m walking with walking aids, and two strapping men at either side of me, but I’m walking.
Clay comes to my aid, but Chris catches his arm and stops him. I smile at them both and push myself up from the couch. Chris lifts my sticks and hands me them. I feel a little wobbly, but just a couple of days ago, I couldn’t get up without support.
“What a difference, sweetheart,” says my mom as she embraces me, kissing me on the cheek. “You’re a little superhero.”
“Behave, Mom. I’m a princess, remember?”
Everyone bursts out laughing. “That’s what your father and I used to call you, our little princess. Then you grew up playing with toy guns and cars, turning into a tomboy. You and your brother were like two peas in a pod.”
I look up. “Where is Carrick?”
“He’s going to meet us out front. He’s being updated on security measures by Mike,” Caleb answers. “Mike is ex-military too. He won’t leave here until everyone knows what’s expected of them.”
“Okay then.” I take in a deep breath and sigh. “Let’s do this.”
Clay walks over to me and straightens out my army uniform. He used to do this to me all the time when we worked together. I used to laugh at him acting like a proud father making sure his young were well dressed.
“I am so proud of you, short stuff.”
“Don’t get all mushy on me now, Shaw.” I salute him because I will always see him as my superior.
“Never. I could never tell you that when I was your boss because I didn’t have favorites.” He winks at me. “But now you’re mine. I don’t need to hide my feelings. And I couldn’t be prouder of you. You are a superhero. You’re my hero. Someone I look up to. Someone I want to be when I grow up.” We both laugh. “But most importantly, you’re someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Ditto.”
Clay takes out a box from his pocket and gets down on one knee. He holds the box in front of me with one hand and rests his other hand over mine that’s grasping my walking aid.
“Shay. Will you do me the greatest honor of being my wife?”
The room is silent. I don’t look away from the box. The most beautifully crafted diamond is glistening back at me, tempting me.
“Shay?” Clay asks, and it snaps me back to here and now. “What do you say? Will you be my wife?”
I nod. “I will. But I want you to ask me when we come home tonight. I don’t want you asking me now because you think that something might happen at the ceremony. Please, keep it for tonight when we’re home, settled, and celebrating a good day. We can finish off our story on a happy note.”
I can see the disappointment in Clay’s eyes, but if he loves me, he’ll know why I’m putting it off for a few hours. Anything could happen between now and then, but our love for one another will never change.
“Okay.” Clay snaps the box shut, puts it in his pocket, and stands up. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
Everyone starts moving again, and I feel like a bitch for making Clay so unhappy. I walk, or rather stumble, a few feet forward and Clay puts his hand on my chest to stop me.
“Straighten up. You’re being a slouch and it’s knocking you off balance.”
I smile at him. He’s heard Chris saying that a lot over the last few days.
“He beat me to it.” Chris shrugs and leaves Clay’s house without a backward glance. I’m in good hands with Clay. We walk out of the house and down the couple of steps up to Clay’s porch. I hate stairs of any kind now, but I’m glad to reach the flat ground in one piece.