Curse this stupid town.
I walk back to the kitchen counter and try to pick up my sandwich, but my hands are shaking and the idea of trying to eat now makes me feel like throwing up. I dump the bread in the trash and creep to my room.
Locking myself inside, I drop to my knees and move aside the two shoeboxes, fishing out my money jar from underneath the bed. Glancing at the door one more time, I quietly unscrew the lid and empty the contents onto my quilt. I don’t know how long it takes me, but I count every bill and coin of my savings, adding in the stuff I took tonight as well.
It’s become my little ritual after Dean’s been an asshole. It’s a good reminder that I’m gonna leave this place one day. I’m gonna take Jackson and get as far away from Dean Wilcox as I can.
17
The Ice Cream Parlor of Truth
I drop the book I’ve just finished next to the stack of empty plates. Annie keeps bringing me food, then leaving the dishes with me. Emptying the latest glass of water, I look to the attic floor, hoping the trap door will open soon.
It’s only been three days, but with not much to do, I crave her visits.
I shake my head with a snicker. It’s not because I’m bored.
There’s something about her that captures me. She’s got this musical laugh and those blue eyes that sparkle when she smiles. When she gets going, she can talk a mile a minute. But she has quiet moments too. She didn’t say much this morning, just listened as I told her another story from the ranch. She seems to like them. And to my surprise, telling her about the time Deeks got pooped on by a cow was pretty entertaining. I was hoping for more of a laugh but had to settle for the smile she gave me instead. It didn’t reach her eyes the way it usually does, and it makes me wonder if life in that diner is harder than she makes it look.
I shift on the bed. It doesn’t hurt as much to move around, which means I’m getting better. I should probably make tracks soon. The idea sits heavy and black in my gut. I’ll miss Annie’s visits. Although I’m hiding out, it feels safe to remember the ranch in this attic. It’s that same sense of home that enveloped me when I first walked into the big wooden house miles from our run-down shack in Florida.
Montana was a whole new world, and I knew the second I arrived that everything was going to be okay. As long as Dad didn’t find us, we’d be safe and sound. That’s what Grandpa said, and I believed him.
From that first day he took us out for ice cream, I believed every word he said. There was always something so trustworthy about his face and the way he delivered his words. He had a husky voice, but it was smooth and lilting. He never said anything in a hurry.
I remember sitting there licking my cookie-dough ice cream cone and staring at him across the table. His weathered face wrinkled with shame and despair as he told us why he hadn’t come to visit in such a long time.
“Your grandma Edie and I loved coming down to see you boys, but the last visit didn’t go so good. Michael, you were just a baby, and we loved spending time with you three, but your dad didn’t like it so much. I’m not sure why, but we got into a big argument the night before we left.”
“I remember,” Cooper mumbled. “Dad said he didn’t want you to come back again.”
“I told him he could go to hell.” Grandpa’s forehead wrinkled, and I thought he was about to cry. “But your mom told me to calm down and please not make it any worse. I didn’t want to hurt her, so we left the next day and tried to keep in touch. But in the end, we had to let her go. It broke Edie’s heart. She actually died a few months after our final phone call. Your mom told us never to call again.” He blinked, slashing his knuckle under each eye and sniffing.
I licked the drips running down my cone, but the ice cream didn’t taste as sweet anymore.
“Why’d you listen to her?” Deeks’s voice is dark with accusation. “She needed you. She—” His words snapped off and he dropped his ice cream, smooshing it into the table.
“I didn’t know.” Grandpa’s voice came out all gravelly. “I didn’t know about the accident. I didn’t know he’d lost his job. I didn’t know about the drinking. I didn’t know about—” His chin bunched, his lips doing that wobbly thing again before he gripped his mouth. Tears filled his eyes, and I wasn’t sure what to do.
Glancing at my brothers, I watched them stare at the old man. Deeks’s gaze was hard and unrelenting. Cooper’s was forlorn. He hadn’t touched his ice cream, and the drips were starting to run over his fingers.
I wondered if I should stop eating mine too, but I hadn’t had ice cream in forever and it tasted too good.
“So, why are you back now?” Cooper whispered. “Are you just visiting or…?”
Or what?
Why didn’t Cooper finish his sentence?
What was he asking?
Grandpa swallowed and lowered his hand. A tear trickled down his right cheek, but he didn’t bother to wipe it away. “Your mama sent me a letter. It arrived a couple of days after she died. Did one of you post it for her?”
Cooper and I shook our heads, but then Deeks huffed and muttered, “I did. But I didn’t connect who Raymond Barrett was. It’s not like we ever talk about you guys! And I had no idea you lived in Montana!” He scowled. “She didn’t tell me anything about it, just begged me to do it quietly and make sure Dad didn’t find out.” He swallowed and looked down at his melting ice cream, running his finger into it and drawing a pattern on the table. “She made me promise to keep it a secret.”
“I understand why.” Grandpa’s voice was deeper. Huskier. “She told me everything. I know exactly what your life’s been like, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop him.” He sniffed and scrubbed a hand over his mouth. “She asked me to come save you. That’s why I’m here.” His lips pulled into a weary smile. “You’re my boys. I know I haven’t met the twins yet, but they’ll be mine too. I want all five of you to come and live with me, on my ranch, up in Montana.”
None of us said anything.
My heart did this little gleeful jump that it’d never done before, but I didn’t want to raise my hand and start shouting, “Sounds good to me!”
What if my brothers didn’t want to leave?
What if it was a betrayal against our dad?
“He’s not just gonna let you take us,” Cooper said.
“I know it.” Grandpa Ray shuffled in his seat. “I went to see him today, and he told me exactly what I could do with my idea of taking you in.”
It wasn’t hard to guess. I’d heard Dad’s shouts enough times to know that he would have cursed Grandpa Ray right out the front door.
“So, you just gonna leave again, then? Buy us ice cream and fuck off back to Montana?”
“Deacon.” Grandpa said his name like a warning, but it wasn’t the scary way Dad said it. There was a depth and gentleness to his tone that shut my brother up. “I know it may not seem like it, but I love you boys. I loved your mother. She was my Lily. My beautiful girl. And I lost her, but I won’t lose you as well.” He tapped the table with his finger. “Now, I know your dad doesn’t want me to take you anywhere, but if you boys want to come, I’ll take you to my home.”