“How are we supposed to do that?” Cooper shook his head. “You gonna steal us away in the middle of the night?”
“No. I was thinking of picking you up after school tomorrow and driving northwest. We could get your brothers on the way, wherever they are.”
I shot a quick look at my brothers.
Cooper went red in the face, his expression crumbling with remorse. “I’m sorry. I figured they’d be okay. They know the way.”
Grandpa looked confused for a second. “What are you talking about?”
Deeks scowled and grumbled, “They were being pains in the ass, so we ditched them.”
“You what?” The look on Grandpa’s face made me feel bad, and I dipped my head so I didn’t have to see it anymore.
“You don’t just ditch your family. They’re five years old. You’re supposed to be looking after them.”
“They’ll just be hiding out in the fort Cooper made them.” Deeks’s scowl started to crumble, and soon he was looking down as well, mumbling under his breath. “They always go there.”
Grandpa shook his head. “After the week you’ve all had, you should be sticking together like glue.”
His disappointment seared me, and I nearly jumped up and offered to go get them, but Cooper stopped me with a question I didn’t see coming.
“Wouldn’t taking us away like that be kidnapping?”
Grandpa shuffled in his seat some more, adjusting his shirt collar and giving a slight nod, but then he followed it up with words I will never forget. “It may be considered that, but I was always taught to live justly, love mercy and walk humbly. Now, if I’m gonna abide by that lesson, then it means taking my grandsons away from a man who is hurting them. Some people may argue that I should do it right and use the system, but the system has failed too many children, and I can’t bear the thought of my boys spending one more second in fear. I’m here to take you someplace safe, where you can run and laugh and work and learn and grow up into good, fine men. I’ll feed you. I’ll protect you. I’ll teach you everything I know.”
My heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to run right out of my chest.
He was going to teach me how to be a cowboy?
I wanted to go. I wanted to go so bad I could taste it.
“I’m in,” I said quietly.
Deeks jerked to look at me.
“What?” I frowned at him. “You want to keep living with Dad?”
“No,” he snapped.
“Then why aren’t you saying yes?”
“I’m about to if you just give me a fucking chance!”
“Aw, Deacon.” Grandpa shook his head. “We’re really gonna have to work on your language.” Deeks scowled at him, which only made Grandpa laugh. “You still want to come?”
“You bet I do.” His voice was cold steel, and I got it.
This man sitting across the table from us was pure salvation, and we’d be idiots not to take up his offer.
I scratch my cheek, the memory making me sad for some reason. It was the beginning of my freedom. A freedom I should still be living.
We sat in that ice cream parlor long past me finishing the cone. Grandpa Ray wanted to plan out the escape in exact detail, and Cooper was right there with him, peppering him with questions and making sure our dad had no idea where Grandpa’s ranch was.
“He won’t find you. Lily said in her letter that she never told him exactly where she lived. I don’t know why, but I think your mother was a bit embarrassed of our small town. She was always a city girl at heart. I guess it’s working in our favor now. I’ll make sure you’re safe. I’ll make sure he can’t find us.”
He said that so many times, but he didn’t have to. I believed him. I always believed him.
“Live justly,” I whisper, resting my head back against the bookshelf and staring at the wall until it turns into a blur.
What would Grandpa say if he saw me now?
He may have broken the law by stealing us away, but in his eyes, he was being a just man. A hero.
I wish I could say the same for myself, but what’s the point of lying to me?
I stole that money.
It was impulsive and stupid, and it’s put me into a constant state of run and hide.
If Sloan ever catches me, he’ll kill me without explanation. I betrayed him.
“You should never have been working with him in the first place.” I can hear Grandpa’s voice in my head, and it makes my shoulders curl forward.
He’d be so ashamed of the man I’ve become.
All his hard work.
All his lessons.
It’s like they fled my mind the night he died.
But maybe they didn’t. Maybe the funeral and the group home and the running away, living on the streets with Deeks… losing Deeks. Maybe all of that just silenced those lessons.
Maybe they’re still in me.
And if I can figure a way out of this mess, then maybe I can listen to them again.
Become the man Grandpa knew I could be.
The idea seems like a pipe dream. Too much time has passed. Too many sins have been committed.
I don’t deserve to go back to that ranch.
Who knows if it’s even still there?
The thought burns like a hot poker on my chest.
Closing my eyes, I lament the loss of a life so perfect and wonderful, until the pop of the attic stairs descending makes me sit up.
I shake the blues off and look at the stairs expectantly. But then I see a small head pop up through the gap. A boy. He jerks still, his big eyes taking me in while a gasp escapes his lips.
I don’t even have a chance to say anything before he’s darting out of sight, his feet thumping on the wood. The door smashes back into place, and I’m left in a horrible predicament.
Who was that kid?
Is he going to rat me out?
I should leave.
But how can I walk away without saying goodbye to Annie?
18
A Pretend Visit to Gramma’s
“You can’t expect me to serve this garbage!” I slap down a plate of barely eaten food and glare at Mateo.
He wipes his sweat-dampened forehead with his greasy arm and snarls at me, “You calling my food garbage?”
“Well, this plate ain’t great!” I pull apart the pink chicken breast. “Look. It’s not even cooked through.”
He snatches it off me, dumping the food in the trash and grumbling about making a new dish, but it’ll come out of my pocket.
“It’s comin’ out of yours,” I seethe, lowering my voice the second Dean appears in the kitchen.
“What’s going on in here? Is there a problem?”
“No, boss.” Mateo smiles while my upper lip curls in disgust. I could try to complain to Dean about how useless Mateo is, but he wouldn’t listen. If anything, he’d probably find a way to blame me for it.
Resting his fist on his hip, Dean points toward the dining area. “Mrs. Abernathy’s waiting for you at Table Eight.”
The gleam in his eyes is a punch to my stomach, but I try not to let it show. Snatching the order pad out of my apron, I scratch at my crawling skin and head out to apologize.