It was a dream, Lucas decided. It had to be, but not one he wanted to wake up from anytime soon that was for sure. His pajamas were fire engine red with the same teddy bear motif as the robe on them, and Lucas knew they had to have been ordered from the same online store. Jacob made Lucas sit down while he added a fluffy pair of socks to keep his feet warm, and then he casually caught Lucas’s hand as they left the room and went downstairs.
Lucas was still unsure how Jacob wanted him to behave, but if Jacob was true to his word, it seemed he wanted Lucas just to explore a lot of aspects of being a little and see what fitted him best.
The bath, the shave, the blow job were all vying for top spot so far, but his mind kept going back to the bath toys, and while Jacob hadn’t made a fuss of them or seemed disappointed when Lucas hadn’t touched them, did that just mean he had hidden it well? The thought of failing some test made Lucas’s warm and fuzzy feelings vanish quickly.
They didn’t stop in the kitchen, just went through to the living room where Lucas had built up the cushions on the sofa for them, and the gas fire crackled merrily, giving the whole room a warm and toasty feeling. His mom had had a real log fire at one point, but as she had gotten sicker, Lucas had to close it off with a bookcase so she couldn’t reach it. Terry wouldn’t pay to have it removed or a safer one installed, but he’d managed.
“What sort of pizza do you like?” Jacob asked, picking up his cellphone and opening the menu.
“Just cheese, please,” Lucas answered, “but I can pick anything off.”
“And we can always do half and half,” Jacob replied and put in an order online. “Thirty minutes,” he said and sat down right next to Lucas, lifting his arm to encourage Lucas to snuggle against him which of course Lucas did.
“What movie do you want? I know nothing scary,” he added with no trace of mockery, just reassurance, and Lucas sighed happily. He’d officially fallen in a different universe, and he wasn’t in a hurry to leave at all.
“I’m happy for you to choose, Daddy,” he whispered shyly, thrilled at being given permission to say that. So Jacob did. If Lucas had been surprised at Jacob’s choice of How to Train your Dragon, he didn’t say anything, and the movie was great. The pizza was yummy, but the company was even better.
Chapter Fourteen
The next day Jacob had some errands to run and some thinking to do. The previous evening had been the best he could remember having in a long time, and much as he didn’t want to get carried away—because England obviously—he was feeling better. At least not like his life was some never-ending black pit. Lucas had given him a list of things to pick up. He needed to chase up his visas, and while he could enter the UK legally on what he had now, it would only get him six months. As he was staying in the US for a little longer than he had originally planned, he might as well start the process.
Which reminded him, he still hadn’t emailed a confirmation about the job. He couldn’t do anything until he’d done that, and he sighed in frustration as he entered the store. He wasn’t going to shoot off a casual email on his phone while he was doing other things. This needed proper wording.
He’d left Lucas with his laptop. Lucas had shyly asked if he could use the old computer from upstairs that had been an old relic from Ben’s mom, and it needed to be thrown away. Lucas had been nervous with his laptop, but Jacob had spent a few minutes making sure he was comfortable before he left. He knew Lucas needed to think about his future. Somewhere to work, somewhere to live, and couldn’t help wishing he had something already sorted. Jacob would certainly feel better.
Jacob stilled just as he was getting out of the car. I would feel better. Would I? Would I really? He didn’t know. He honestly didn’t know how he felt. Lucas was making him question so many decisions. Painful memories that he battled with every day were suddenly easing. Was this how grief worked? It hadn’t got steadily better as everyone told him. He hadn’t slept easier a little every night over the years and woken up a little less lonely. He’d been stuck in the same place for the last two years, and in the space of ten days, he’d woken up to his world becoming a brighter place. Was it the distraction of Lucas? Maybe focusing on something else other than work was finally working, and he was immensely glad if that was the case.
It still didn’t ease his mind over Lucas though. It was the party tonight, and there would be a few Doms in the main club that Adrian might want to introduce to Lucas. What if that happened. Would Lucas want to stop what they were doing? But if he’d wanted that, he would be with Gabriel. The only reason that still made sense was Lucas genuinely wanting to try the lifestyle out with someone safe so he knew what he was getting into.
“Are you okay?”
Jacob focused on the lady who was just getting into her car and was staring at him. He smiled and assured her he was. He’d probably been standing there five minutes looking crazy, and he hurried into the store.
He had a brief list of Secret Santa toys for all the littles. Each Dom bought one toy and a spare, so every little would have two presents to open supposedly from Santa. It was a charming idea he’d never heard of before, and he picked up the coloring book and pencils, and then the matching sippy cup and plate emblazoned with characters from the latest children’s book. He suddenly thought about what would happen if Lucas got them. Would he drink juice from a sippy cup? He still hadn’t worked out what kind of little or age group he should be in, and it was hard.
Ben had been easy. When they’d met, he already had his own collection of toys. He even slept with a pacifier. Hidden, but it was there, and it had taken Ben a while to trust Jacob with that knowledge. Lucas was different. He didn’t have “a while,” and Lucas was nowhere closer to working out what his needs were now than he had been when they met.
Or was he? He knew he liked soft things, cuddles, caring, but he didn’t know much else. Jacob turned direction a little and went to the children’s department. He could browse for ideas for something to get him for Christmas.
Jacob was home in under two hours with the things on Lucas’s list plus his own. He’d spent a frustrating thirty minutes looking at toys, but he had no idea if Lucas would like any of them, so he left. He needed to pay attention tonight and gauge Lucas’s reactions.
Lucas met him at the door with a big smile and hurried to help him with the food he had bought. “Was it really busy?”
“Not too bad.” And before Jacob thought about it, he bent and dropped a kiss on Lucas’s head. Lucas stilled. They had been very intimate during sex, and Jacob had kissed him like that a few times over the last few days, but never as a greeting before.
“What did you find out?” Jacob nodded to the laptop as Lucas put a mug of coffee in front of him a few minutes later as he sat at the kitchen table.
Lucas followed his gaze to the computer. “I don’t want to go back to school.”
“You don’t?” Jacob was surprised, but then, Lucas was thirty soon, so maybe he shouldn’t be.
Lucas shook his head. “The problem is my zero work experience. Even if I can get good character references, I haven’t exactly been a full-time employee of the club to warrant that either, and while I’m pretty sure I could get a job, getting one that will pay me enough to find a place to live with zero savings for a down payment is hard. Most want first and last month.”