Lucas smiled politely, and Jacob suddenly was sick of seeing that look on Lucas and wondered if the smile ever reached his eyes or if he showed genuine emotion. Jacob took another swallow of coffee, irritated with himself. He was the last person to complain about not showing emotions. He’d had his firmly locked away for years.
“What sort of jobs would you like me to do?”
Jacob looked around the mess in the kitchen. They’d started a remodel when they first moved in, but now it just looked like a dump. “I thought if you could spend a month getting it ready to sell. I’m told houses sell better with furniture in, and I’m certainly not planning on shipping beds overseas, so I’ll probably get one of those companies to empty it when it’s sold.” He picked up a piece of toast. “Actually, if you get your own place, you can help yourself.”
Lucas’s lips parted in obvious astonishment. “I can’t take your furniture.”
Jacob shrugged. “I wouldn’t get much for it from one of those companies that clear your house. I’d be happier knowing some of it was going to a friend.”
Lucas’s face lit up, and Jacob stared at the complete change in him. Instinctively Jacob knew it was the friend comment, not the free-furniture one, and he felt ashamed for his previous assumption.
“I know Realtors tell you to empty places of clutter,” Jacob said ruefully. He’d gone crazy after Ben had died. Packed up everything that had reminded him of something they did together. Every photograph, even the stupid knickknacks that Ben was always collecting down to the stupid-ass shell he’d found on the beach the summer after they had met.
He’d thrown everything in boxes and not even finished that. And two years later he still couldn’t bear to go into their special room, so he’d simply locked it up and walked away.
The thought of having to go in there soon made him sick to his stomach.
Lucas picked up his water. “You’re relocating?”
Jacob nodded. “I’m a town planning consultant. I managed to develop a special niche of troubleshooting projects that run into problems. The last two were in Atlanta, but there’s a big regeneration project starting in England, and they want me to oversee the whole thing.”
“That’s amazing,” Lucas said. “You don’t have any family to object?”
Jacob felt the color drain from his face. “No,” he said curtly and stood. “I’m going to bed. Please help yourself to anything you need. There’s a TV through there if you’re not tired. All the doors are locked, so just click off the lights when you’re ready.” He didn’t wait to see the effect his words or his abrupt departure had on Lucas, just got himself out of there before he did something stupid.
Like cry.
Chapter Three
What had he said? Lucas gaped as Jacob practically ran from the room. It was something to do with family, he was sure of it. Maybe he had just gotten divorced or something—which explained the big move—and Lucas had managed to be an insensitive idiot to a very kind man who had practically rescued him from Terry’s clutches.
And if Lucas was honest, a very hot man. He’d noticed him right away when he’d come in the club. And then when he’d been kind to him in the bathroom, Lucas had liked him even more.
Lucas stood, rinsed the plates, and put them in the dishwasher. He peeked into the living room out of curiosity, but he wasn’t interested in TV, and seeing as how he’d barely slept in the last three months between being frantic over his money situation and his mom’s death, he was ready to go to bed.
Maybe he could get up early in the morning and make Sir a coffee? Jacob, Lucas corrected himself. He knew the man’s name, and keeping on referring to him as Sir was just going to give Lucas problems he didn’t need. The chances of the man being gay were probably zero, and even then the miniscule chance of him wanting anything to do with Lucas was less than that.
Adrian had explained the club was mixed. They even had a little room, and Adrian had cautioned him that no one was allowed in when the club was open except Daddies or Mommies and their littles. Lucas had trembled with excitement a little at that. Ever since his friend in college had told him about training to be a Dom, he had been enchanted by the idea. He’d googled as much as he could and had forgotten the number of times he’d gone to bed and wished and prayed he’d had someone to take over some of the responsibility of his life. Even for a little while. There was one video he’d been drawn to over and over again. One of a Daddy spanking his boy when his boy had been naughty.
Lucas could get hard just thinking about that, and he’d watched it so many times he could listen with his eyes closed and imagine the look of love on the Daddy’s face and the look of utter bliss on the boy’s. It would take no imagination to replace Jacob as the Daddy.
It would take even less to replace himself as the boy being spanked.
He couldn’t even watch it anymore though. He had no cash for phone contracts and even less for porn subscriptions. Turning off the lights, Lucas went to bed, pausing at the linen cupboard to get some sheets to make his bed. He picked some older-looking blue ones from underneath the pile, and as he pulled them out, a small fleece blanket fell on the floor. Lucas bent and picked it up quickly, but then he paused, staring at the pictures of teddy bears all around the edge, and sucked in a sharp breath as he felt the soft blanket. He was so tempted to bury his head in it, but it wasn’t his, and that seemed disrespectful. Did Jacob have kids? Obviously not here, but if he had just gone through a divorce, maybe their mother had taken them and that was the other reason Jacob was so upset. He carefully folded the blanket and slid it back in the pile, almost feeling like he was intruding, then went into his room and quickly made the bed. It took him another hour to put his things away and wipe down the bathroom. It wasn’t dirty, just dusty, uncared for, and if this was the only thing he had to do for the next few weeks, it wasn’t going to be difficult.
Maybe he could even look into going back and getting his nursing degree? Although that didn’t have the same appeal as it had when he was in college. The money and nowhere to live would be an issue obviously, but Jacob had hinted there might be another job he could try for. That was always assuming he wasn’t regretting letting Lucas move in already. He might be back at Terry’s tomorrow. Carefully, like he might be seen, he got back out of bed and went to the one drawer he had used and felt underneath his pile of clothes. Curling his fingers over the tiny rabbit, he pulled it out. It had been a key chain. His mom had presented him with it when she had bought him the car as a graduation gift. She knew he liked soft things even then, and his bedroom had been full of his childhood toys. His favorite had been a purple elephant his mom had gotten him as a baby.
This blue dog-eared rabbit was one of only two things he had left now. The second was a fairy he had made when he was little and thought all things like that were pretty. He didn’t know how it had escaped Terry’s attention, but for years it had sat on top of their Christmas tree every year along with all the other handmade ornaments Lucas had loved to make. At least until he got to school and found out pretty quickly he should be playing with cars and soldiers.
But for the first time in a long time instead of having to keep it hidden, he fell asleep with the blue rabbit tucked under his pillow.