Saint got up, wiped his hands on his jeans, and whistled while walking away. “You sent him?” I asked. “The man who has been stalking me—harassing me—the man who wrote an article painting my mother and me out to be gold diggers is your brother. Someone you hired.” I was in shock. I clutched my chest while staring at an uneasy Hamilton. I couldn’t tell if he wanted to hug me or run from me. “The night at the club. With Jess and Infinity. You set that up, didn’t you?” Though my tone sounded like a question, it was rhetorical. I already knew the answer.
“Vera. I’m so sorry—”
“Were you just going to kiss me? Share our fuck fest scandal and let the world gossip about us?”
“I decided that night not to go through with it. I swear I didn’t want to hurt you,” Hamilton rushed out.
“Right. How can I believe you, Hamilton? And you’re the person that leaked my mother’s fake pregnancy? You knew? All this time you fucking new.”
“Colleen told me the night of the wedding,” he explained. “She was drunk and feeling chatty after we had sex. I wasn’t expecting to find anything out. I went there to stir up some drama, get drunk, and remind Joseph that I knew the truth. I never planned on learning what your mother was doing. It just kind of snowballed from there. I started talking to you because I thought maybe you had some insider information I could exploit. I saw an opportunity.”
I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself. “So I was an opportunity? Even better. Were you thinking about revenge when we fucked, Hamilton? Were you thinking about destroying the Beauregard name when I was riding your face? Was I an easy target?”
“No. No. Maybe at first but—”
“Fuck you. Tell me why. Tell me what was so important that you took my heart and stomped on it.”
“Joseph was on drugs,” Hamilton cried out. “Probably still is. He’s gotten better at hiding it now. You can put addiction in a designer suit, but it’s still addiction. I hate him. He used to beat the shit out of me. Every fucking day. Jack was juggling two monsters. Mom’s depression and Joseph’s demons. I was caught in the crossfire of his image, and I hated it.”
I refused to soften my heart at his story. I refused to feel empathy for the man who used me.
“I’m sorry he beat you up, but what does that have to do with my mother and me?”
“I saw him at the wedding. I saw the smug look on his face. I saw the way he held her close. Jack looked so fucking proud. He looked like a real family man. I knew the truth. He doesn’t deserve a happily ever after. He doesn’t deserve his dream job. He doesn’t deserve any of it.”
“So you want him to be miserable?” I asked. “You missed your mark, Hamilton. The only people suffering are my mother and me.”
“Jack started focusing more on Joseph. His anger issues. His sociopathic tendencies. He considered Mom a lost cause.” Hamilton looked like he was on the verge of tears. His hands were balled into fists at his sides. “The drugs Mom overdosed on? She got them from Joseph. She stole them from under his mattress. Jack had to cover it up to save his precious son from being at the center of it all. She even left a fucking note. She said that she couldn’t stand to look at the psychopath she birthed, the bastard she was raising, and the cheating husband who resented her.”
I knew that something was inherently wrong with Joseph, but to hear that Mrs. Beauregard’s last words were calling him a psychopath just increased my concern for my mother. I tried to remain calm. “You have every right to feel the way you do, Hamilton. I have a lot of sympathy for you, okay? But this doesn’t make up for the fact that you used me. And for what? What did you accomplish here, Hamilton? You wanted to make them look bad? The only people you hurt were my mother and me.”
“We can still do something. Your mother could come forward about the abuse. I could—”
“My mother is driving back to DC as we speak. She’s in no place to go against the Beauregards. She still thinks she loves the asshole. You want to make a difference, Hamilton? Talk to your father. Sort your fucking shit out. It’s too late. Your mother overdosed. There is nothing you could have done differently.” Hamilton walked over to me and reached for my arm, but I took a step back. “I should have never trusted you. You didn’t just hurt me. Joseph beat up my mother. She had cuts and bruises all over her body, Hamilton. Because of us. Because of your fucked up family. You knew what your brother was capable of, and you still let me pursue this. You put us at risk. You used us for some ridiculous vendetta.”
“I’m just tired of everyone thinking my family is perfect!” Hamilton roared. “He doesn’t get to just live his life. Joseph once snapped my arm in the door. He’d knock me down, then kick me in the stomach. And Jack had his head shoved so far up his ass that he didn’t once take my side. And then Mom died. And shit got worse.”
I swallowed my emotions. “I’m sorry, Hamilton. I’m so sorry. But this is just too much.” Straightening my spine, I gave him a cold look before saying goodbye. For good. Forever. “Don’t talk to me again. I’m going to get my mother out of this mess, and I’m going to forget you ever existed. I hope you get whatever closure you’re looking for, Hamilton. But I’m not going to let you ruin me to get to it.”
“Petal, no. Please! I love you.”
His declaration did nothing. I had no sentimental reaction to his affections, only rage. “You’re not capable of love. You wouldn’t know what it was if it slapped you in the face. Petals aren’t meant to be plucked, Hamilton. When you love something, you let it bloom.”
26
I couldn’t go back to Jess’s car. Not only was I devastated by the revelation about Hamilton, but I quickly realized that Jess was probably in on it too. There was no way she didn’t know about Hamilton’s plan. They were best friends, and she was probably in on it from the beginning. I felt like such a fool. I couldn’t go back to Greenwich. I couldn’t go back to my apartment. I wanted out of this mess of a family.
I walked through the woods, leaving Hamilton to stand there alone, his hands outstretched for mine but only clasping air. He didn’t chase after me, though. How could I have been so foolish? How could I have ignored all the signs? My mother warned me. Even though Joseph was a monster, he warned me, too. I was starting to realize that everyone was a villain. Everyone had an ulterior motive. There were no innocents. I should have seen Hamilton for what he was.
And even though I was angry, my heart still hurt for the boy who shared the trauma of Joseph’s abuse.
When I saw the Beauregard’s home, I pulled out my cell, fully prepared to call an Uber to my apartment so I could pack a bag and take the train to DC. I didn’t exactly know what I’d do once I got there, but I had to convince my mother to leave Joseph. No amount of financial security was worth being with a monster.
“The guards told me you were here,” Jack said. I hadn’t even noticed him sitting on his back porch. He was clutching a glass full of amber liquid in his palm and staring out across his property at the tree line. I’d never seen him dressed so casually, with a black shirt and sweatpants; he looked normal, almost. “Is Hamilton at the sycamore tree? He always loved it there.”