“I was asking if you remembered that one Christmas barbecue I had. I invited your family over. That was before my dad went full brain-washed mode. Before Sylvia really sank her claws in.”
I nodded, remembering that Christmas clearly. It had been the year before our Costa Rica trip. We’d all gone over to Rex’s house, and he cooked us a mouthwatering meal. They lived on a huge estate that sat right on the water, which I remembered had surprised me. I knew Rex’s family had money, but he never carried himself with the kind of attitude I expected from someone who had been raised in a waterside castle. His dad was part of a fast-food chain empire, using the money to invest and grow their name even larger. He got into politics right before I met Rex.
“You cooked us these blue-cheese-stuffed burgers that I still dream about to this day.” My mouth, in a Pavlovian response, started to water.
Rex laughed, nodding. Tammy rolled over so that the back scratches could become belly scratches. Her small paws, almost humanlike in their ability to grab things, scratched the air in pleasure as Rex and I doubled up on her.
“I’ll have to make that next, then.”
“Yes, please.” Warm memories filled me. “It was a great Christmas. One of the best.”
“It really was. Even if Sylvia was there, fucking everything up.” Rex shook his head, eyes turning downward. “My dad always seemed uncomfortable around gay people, but he never truly seemed to hate them, not until Sylvia wrapped him up in her organization. He changed.”
“I remember her treating my moms’ pretty bad during that Christmas dinner.”
So bad that we didn’t go back the next year, and weren’t invited ever again after that.
“My dad fought with her that night, I’ll give him that. I was going to sleep and heard him arguing with her, saying she should have been kinder and more welcoming. That Mia and Ashley are good friends. I couldn’t hear her part, she spoke too low, but it seemed to go on for a while. I just left them.”
My turn to shake my head. “What a monster.”
As Rex’s gaze turned out toward the calm lake, I took that as an opening to admire the man sitting next to me. One I was sure I’d never connect with again, not like this. He was my brother’s best friend, not mine. I didn’t expect to be looking at his face again, loving the way his beard grew in, perfectly trimmed to highlight the warmth of his face, the breathtaking glitter in those cerulean blue eyes. His nose was perfect, and his ears, and the three freckles he had spread around his forehead. His lips looked like pillows and his neck—
“You’re out of it today, huh?”
Damn it, again?
I flitted my gaze to the center of the lake, hoping Rex didn’t notice how blatant my staring was.
“Just thinking about a lot,” I said. “What were you saying?”
“Nothing, forget it.”
“No, say it again. I’m listening this time.”
“I was asking if Christmas was still your favorite holiday?”
I huffed a breath. “Does a reindeer shit in the woods?”
“I don’t know, does it?”
“Yes, I think.”
“The North Pole doesn’t have woods, though.”
“Yeah, but they’re flying around all over the place. I’m sure they cross woods eventually.”
“So they have to wait until they’re over some woods to go to the bathroom?”
I laughed, waving my hands in the air as if cleaning the board. “Yes, Christmas is still my favorite. Why?”
“Just wondering,” Rex said. His tone took on a curious note. “You haven’t changed much. That makes me happy. Too much shit in my life’s been changing lately. It’s good to know the good things sometimes stay the same.”
“I’ve changed a bit,” I said, lifting an arm and playfully flexing my bicep.
“Oh, I’m not disputing that.” He smiled his toothy, bright grin.
“But you’re right.” I leaned back on the blanket, both hands behind me, eyes straight ahead. The sky had turned a dark purple, the stars ready in the wings, waiting to take center stage. “I don’t feel all that different from the kid I used to be. You might think it’s good, but I don’t know, part of me is ready to change. Grow up. Get out of my moms’ house and spread my wings. I thought that’d be what’d happen after college, but no one warns you that real life is nothing like the fake college life, where everything is still so contained and on track. I graduated and I’m still lost, still the same fourteen-year-old kid you met in the movie theatre.”
“You’re not lost, Benj. It takes time to figure things out, and I know you will. I’m three years older than you, and I feel ten steps behind you. A dropout with an impending sex tape, disappointing zealous fathers, and manipulative stepmothers all around the world.”
I arced a brow. “Don’t be so dramatic.”
“It’s the truth, ain’t it?”
I couldn’t argue. Most of that really was the truth, and I hated it.
It wasn’t the sex tape I hated, or the dropout part either. I just hated that Rex was the one going through all this. He was a good guy with a huge heart. I spent years telling myself his heart resembled a dried-up piece of corn husk, but that had all been a lie; the text message had been a lie.
It took six years for me to try and convince myself that Rex was a terrible human.
It only took about six minutes for me to realize the complete opposite.
“Has there been any updates from the detective?”
Rex shook his head. “I’m supposed to be having a call with him tomorrow. At least the video hasn’t hit the web, so I guess that’s a good sign.”
Without thinking much of it, I reached over Tammy and put my hand on Rex’s. “It’s going to be fine. No matter what happens.”
“Hope so.” His smile, half-cocked, seemed genuine, even though the circumstances clearly weighed on him. “If only I’d gotten a heads-up, then maybe I would have trimmed things up a bit. Made sure the lighting was good, the angles good.”
That got me laughing. It was a good sign, how Rex could find jokes inside of the storm that raged around him.
“I doubt you’ve got anything to worry about. I wouldn’t mind you from any angle,” I said, the flirty line flying out of me before I could stop myself.
“Oh really?”
Crap, crap. I wasn’t ready to back that all up.
Usually, I could flirt with the best of them. Back when I was feeling good about myself, I enjoyed the batting of compliments and innuendos back and forth. It was almost like the sports I found myself excelling in. There was a rhythm to it, and if the rhythm synced up, then a home run was all but guaranteed.
“Uhm,” I said, “yeah. Really.”
All right, so that was a strike.
Rex didn’t seem to mind. He laughed, looking down as Tammy got up and readjusted herself between us so that she curled up into a ball, her paws holding on to her long tail.
“Fuck, Benj. Six years.”
“I know… damn.” The wind picked up and rustled the leaves, some of them falling to the ground and adding to the orange and red crunchy piles. “Did you ever think about reaching out?”