“You think there’s a way of getting through to the old him?”
Rex shook his head, his eyes aimed straight ahead, one hand loosely holding the reins and the other on his leg. He really did seem like a pro at this, and Electra seemed like the perfect horse for him.
Also, Rex looked really fucking hot on a horse.
“It’s all right,” he said. “I don’t need him. He’s helped me for long enough. Now it’s time I find my own path.”
“Maybe you can get into politics, too? Take him out of his own seat.”
Rex huffed a laugh at that, clearly not believing it as much as I did. “That’ll be the day rescued river otters named Tammy start to fly.”
“Hear that, girly?” I said, down to the happy little otter. “You’re getting wings!”
16
Rex Madison
The day was bright, one of the brightest. There was a kind of magic in the air that I couldn’t quite pinpoint, but I could sure as hell feel it down in my bones. It rustled through the red and orange leaves, swirling around us. The trail we trotted down was completely surrounded by trees. I felt transported. Like we were somewhere else, far away, on some private island with our two horses, laughing and talking without a care in the world.
Benji’s smile made that magic all the brighter. Every time he laughed, every time his eyes lit up, I felt my heart soar further into the clouds. I wasn’t sure exactly what happened, but there was a noticeable shift in Benji’s mood.
This was the Benji I remembered. Always so quick to laugh and make others laugh along with him. His toothy grin could easily win anyone over.
I’d missed it since getting to the sanctuary, so every laugh and smile he gave me felt like a huge breath of fresh air.
“Look, follow me,” Benji said, pointing toward a thin path that was overgrown with bushes.
“Come this way.” He turned Canyon down the trail, and I followed, having to duck under some low-hanging branches. The vibes turned less scenic and more sketch, the trail thinning enough that we couldn’t ride next to each other. The sun was blocked out by the thickening canopy. The shadows grew thick, the path seeming to rise in elevation although I couldn’t see far enough ahead to be certain.
“Is this the part of the movie where you reveal your thirst for blood?” I asked.
“Are you saying—”
“I know what you are.”
He turned and gave me a serious look. “Say it. Out loud. Say it!”
I returned his deadly serious stare, seconds from cracking up. “A secret shopper.”
Benji’s jaw dropped, clearly not expecting that answer. He then started to laugh, filling the air with that beautiful sound of his. I joined in the chorus.
“You read the book, too?” Benji said.
I nodded. “Read all of them.”
“Annnnd?”
“Team Jacob.”
Benji nodded. “Makes sense, for a bear.”
It was my turn to drop my jaw. With a laugh, Benji raced ahead, Canyon picking up speed and turning a corner. I followed his lead, the sounds of our laughter and our horses echoing through the woods.
With our accelerated speed, it didn’t take much longer for us to arrive where Benji had been taking us.
And again, my jaw dropped.
The narrow and wild trail opened up onto a breathtaking field of colorful flowers that reached all the way up to the crystal-clear river babbling over smooth rocks and pebbles. The river ran straight over the edge of the small hill we had climbed up, creating a beautiful waterfall, the water bubbling and splashing off the large boulders at the edge of the river.
Benji was already tying Canyon to a tree. I got off Electra and did the same, looking around at the storybook clearing. “I didn’t know this was so close to the sanctuary.”
“Yeah, no one did until like three years ago. It’s been one of my favorite spots to hang out, although I haven’t come here in a while.” He looked around, like someone walking into an old childhood home, the walls feeling familiar but appearing different.
“I used to sit here and just put my feet in the water. The sounds would sometimes put me to sleep. Best sleep of my life.”
Benji went over to the edge of the river. He took off his sneakers, then his socks, and he stuck his toes in the water, closed his eyes, and sighed.
“Let’s sit,” I said, taking off my shoes and putting my feet in the water.
Benji sat next to me, his fingertips barely a grass blade length away. I could have sworn I felt his heartbeat through the ground itself. I’d never felt this in tune with someone, as if we didn’t even need words to speak to each other.
Fuck… did I fuck up?
Should I have said yes to being his boyfriend?
“It’s nice, huh?”
I nodded. “Nice feels like an understatement. I needed this.” I rolled my head in a circle, taking in a deep breath. “I’ve been so damn stressed.”
“From what?”
“Take your pick, Benj. My unemployment, my lack of permanent housing, my father’s rejection of me.” I shook my head, feeling almost dickish for complaining. “Sorry. I know I should be the last to complain. I’ve been living off my dad’s money and blowing it on parties and rent in New York… I guess life just caught up to me.”
“You were just caught up in it all, Rex. Give your self space for growth. You can reinvent yourself, turn this low point into a high one.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“Take it all one building block at a time. Your job, focus on that. You said you’re thinking about going back to law school—that’s still on the table, right?”
I nodded.
“Great, we’ll start figuring out what you need for applications tonight, and then tomorrow we’ll start putting things together. Nothing major, just whatever little things we can do for now.”
I looked to Benji, who had adopted a glow I hadn’t witnessed from him in so long. It made me want to lean in and kiss him, drink in some of that glow.
Fuck me, why didn’t I say yes?
“Or maybe there’s another option,” Benji said. “Maybe you can look into getting into politics? Follow your dad’s footsteps and reverse any damage he might have caused.”
“I’ve thought about that—”
“And?”
“Well, then comes the second thing that’s kept me awake at night: the sex tape is still out there. The second I step into any kind of political role, it’ll for sure come out.”
Benji didn’t respond immediately, instead chewing on his lip in thought. I started to feel that same fear as before, the magma-hot brand of judgment and rejection.
“See, even you don’t know what to say.”
He shook his head, wiggling his toes in the water. “It’s not great, only because I can see people using it as a weapon to hurt you, and I hate even thinking that. It makes my fucking blood boil. You shouldn’t even have to worry about something like that.”
“I really wish I didn’t, but—well, I do. And it’s real fucking shitty.”
“Have there been any updates from the detective?”