“Okay, so what if he denies everything?” Shelly asked, scooting forward so that she was barely sitting on the edge of the couch as her gaze darted back and forth between the two officers. “You can arrest him based on what Jolene told you, right? I mean, right?”
“Unless he admits to kissing or touching Jolene, I’m sorry, no,” said one of the officers, a young blonde woman with striking blue eyes. She turned to me. “You’re the first person to make allegations against him, so unless he says something happened or we find a witnesses or evidence—”
“It’s my word against his,” I said, feeling hollow and small.
“Jolene, I believe you’re telling the truth, and whatever else happens, there is now an official record documenting your story. That report is going to follow him for the rest of his life.”
She told me I was brave and important and that because I’d come forward, any other girl who reported him would have my story to stand alongside hers.
I nodded, feeling more numb than anything as they left and Shelly shut the door behind them. She stayed there, leaned her back against the door until I realized what she was doing and my face went hot.
“Right,” I said, pushing to my feet and grabbing my bag. “It’s not my dad’s weekend and you probably have stuff you need to do.”
Shelly bit her lip. “I want to tell you I’m proud of you, but I’m betting I’m the last person you want to hear that from.” She took a step toward me. “I also want to tell you that it’s wrong that your dad wasn’t here.”
I couldn’t keep my eyes from glancing at the kitchen counter and the note Dad had left me.
Can’t make it today. I’ll make it up to you next time. Knock ’em dead, champ.
I wasn’t sure if he was confusing the events of the day with a soccer game or he really meant he’d try to make it to my next sexual assault police interview. Honestly, neither one changed how I felt about him.
Shelly had read the note over my shoulder, and for a second I’d thought she might throw up.
But then the cops had shown up, and we’d had to forget about the note. I’d try at least. There was an ugly, dark part of my brain that had it memorized though.
“And while I’m sure I know the answer, I’m going to offer anyway.” Shelly sucked in a deep breath and held it before saying, “I’ll go with you if you want to tell your mom. Her lawyers are going to be notified, but if you want to tell her yourself...”
Mom’s lawyers were going to be out for blood and they were finally going to have cause given that this had all happened on “Dad’s watch.” I didn’t want to think about that so I let myself imagine Shelly’s offer, what that meeting might look like, and the injuries and indignities that my mom would inflict on her if she came with me. For some reason, it wasn’t as fun to think about as it used to be.
“She’d probably try to run you over with her car,” I said.
Shelly didn’t react. “I know.”
“And you’re still offering?”
“Yes.”
Something stung the back of my eyes hearing that. “I think I’ll let the lawyers do the honors.”
Shelly started to take another step toward me, and I could tell that if I let her take that one, she’d take another, and another, and she wouldn’t stop until she was right in front of me. And then she’d push me into a choice I could never make. It was one thing to let her hug me when I was breaking apart and crying on the floor, but when I was standing and feeling...not brave, exactly, but not weak anymore either. It would be something very different.
“Shelly, don’t.” She halted mid-step. “Please don’t.”
Her teeth dug into her lower lip before she nodded. “I know.”
She did know; we both did. Whatever she did for me now couldn’t undo what she’d done. Dance dresses and holding me while I cried and letting her shoulder press into mine while I relived one of the worst things that had ever happened to me, those were good things. But we were tainted by a past and present that I couldn’t forget. At least, not while I was still living it every other weekend. Not while she silently read my dad’s notes and reported to his lawyers.
I couldn’t.
“Can I...?” She pointed past me to her bedroom. “I need to show you something, and I promise that will be it, okay?” She barely waited for my wary nod before crossing the room. I heard the closet opening, and a moment later she was back and holding a bag that was nearly as big as she was.
A packed bag.
I frowned.
“I’m leaving.” Shelly grunted under the weight of the bag and I felt the reverberation in the floor when she dropped it. “I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want to be this person, not for myself and not for you either.”
I kept frowning, but only because I was afraid of the expression my face would make if I stopped. “When?” I glanced at the bag.
“I bought the bag the day after you told me about Guy. I’ve been packing slowly ever since so your dad won’t notice.”
My heart started beating faster when I processed what she was saying. “Why didn’t you leave then?”
“Because of today,” she said in the softest voice. “I wasn’t going to leave you to go through this alone. I know you think you’re tough and you don’t need anyone, but I think that’s because you’ve never really had anyone. And you should, Jo. You deserve to have so many people. People better than me.”
The stinging behind my eyes intensified, and my frown began to tremble. I don’t know if I would have been able to stop her if she’d tried to hug me then, but she didn’t. Instead, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.
“I already know how this is going to go, which is why I’m sending an email to your dad’s lawyers the second I walk out this door. I can’t do much, but unless they want me going to your mom’s lawyers first thing in the morning, they’ll do what I want.”
I stiffened when she came toward me, but she stopped an arm’s length away and offered me the folded piece of paper.
“That’s Mrs. Cho’s new number. It took me a while to track her down since her old number was from a phone that your mom was paying for, but there’s only so many Korean churches in this city, and when I told my mom I was leaving your dad, she helped me look.”
I took the paper with a shaky hand, and Shelly drew back, shoving both hands into her back pockets.
“Anyway, she hasn’t found a new job yet, and once I’m gone, your dad is going to need somebody to be here with you. I know it’s not perfect, but...”