“I can’t.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home.” He pulled on his boots and was out the door, leaving me naked in the middle of my living room.
That asshole was going to catch a cold trying to walk home like this.
Sixteen
AIDEN
In retrospect, should I have been walking down the road in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve or morning? No. I overreacted and I knew it, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other. I wasn’t sure if it was pride or dignity that kept me moving. My breath blew around my face and the chill set into my bones, causing my hands to shake even in my pockets. I figured I’d either freeze to death or get picked up by a hitchhiker and hacked to pieces and spread out over the state parks for Jensen to find.
What a morbid line of thought. Maybe they’d called him the Christmas killer and I’d be the famous first victim.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Jensen yelled.
I turned to find I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t heard his car approach. “Well, I’m glad you’re not a serial killer.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Not important.” But I kept walking.
He slowed and crept after me, passenger window down. “Will you get in the truck?”
“No…”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have a good reason.” It was the truth.
The brakes squealed and when I got a little ahead of him, lights created harsh shadows in front of me as he jumped out of the car. My hair stood on end. Maybe he was going back to the library way of doing things and would hogtie me in the back of the truck.
My cock should not be as hard as it was at that idea.
“Aiden.” Jensen grabbed my shoulder and roughly spun me around.
I held up a hand to block the glare of the lights. I couldn’t read Jensen’s expression cast in shadow as he was. I took a step closer.
“Were you crying?” He brushed his thumb through the moisture on my cheek.
I shrugged and looked at my feet, tears turning to ice after hitting the street. “Maybe.”
“No ‘maybe’ about it. You were.”
“Okay.”
“Come back home with me.” He fisted his hand in my jacket and held on like I was threatening to go someplace else.
“Why?”
“Because I want to be with you. I don’t want you to walk out of my life.”
“What’s the point, Jensen? So we can keep playing this game until you meet someone in the city who fits your lifestyle better? Why? I don’t need to be ripped apart again. I like you. I really like you, more than all of this and I can’t bear for it.” Why was I admitting this to him? I wiped my face on my sleeve. “So let me walk home, and I won’t bother you again.”
He shook me, dragging me closer in the process. I didn’t try to fight him. I should have but I didn’t have the energy. So I was there, wrapped in his arms, nose to nose.
“I don’t just like you, Aiden. I love you. I know we’ve only been together for a handful of days, but this has been going on for months. I knew you were the person for me after our first time in the library. This isn’t a passing thing for me. It was a long time coming. This is what I want and if a job will ruin that, I won’t take it.”
“You can’t do that. There might not be another opportunity like this ever.” I tried to fight now, pushing off his chest. “Are you like made of steel? I’m not even trying to be funny right now. You’re like fucking Superman. I can’t move an inch and I am trying.”
He laughed, kissing each of my damp cheeks. “I am human. I can assure you of that.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.” I put both hands on his pecs and pushed as hard as I could and didn’t gain an inch of space.
“I should let you go so you tumble back into the snow for running away.”
“Rude. I’d die.”
He rolled his eyes. “Can we go back to my place and discuss this like adults now?”
“I’m not good at that, which you knew going into this.”
“I did know, and I want to work through those things.” He hugged me tighter and it felt a little like he could hug all the broken pieces back together.
“Okay.” I knew I couldn’t take all my feelings about my ex on him.
He led me back to the Jeep and closed me inside, including buckling my seatbelt for me.
“Are you worried I’m going to jump out in the two hundred yards back to your house?”
“A little, yes.” He put his hand over the latch so I couldn’t get to it.
“I agreed to come with you,” I said, trying to sound exasperated.
“That doesn’t mean you’re not going to change your mind.” He looked at me as we pulled into his driveway.
“Why did you bother driving after me? You could have walked.”
“I’m not jogging after your ass at two in the morning. I was going to sit my ass in a warm vehicle until you got in.”
I looked him over. “Lacking dedication.”
He grabbed me by the coat again, dragging my lips to his. “Come inside.”
“Are we going to talk about your job?”
“Not tonight. I’m going to lay on top of you in bed so you can’t run away while I sleep.”
“I’m not going to run away.”
“Sure, Jan.”
“Did you just…” I stared at him.
“I think I did.” He got out of the Jeep and pulled open my door.
“Don’t trust me to walk inside by myself.”
“Not on your life.” He offered his hand, which I took.
Like he said he would, he took me right to bed and undressed me, tucking me in. And when he got in beside me, he draped his arm over me. It must have weighed a hundred pounds. Pure muscle. Once he was snoring, I tried to shove it off, for scientific reasons. I wasn’t planning on running away again, I just wanted to see if I could. Not a chance.
“I need to learn to lift weights.”
The next morning I awoke to the scent of bacon wafting through the air. There was a steaming mug of coffee perched on the nightstand next to me and a little box. “Now had you woken me up like this the other morning, I would have easily joined you in the shower,” I said to myself as I reached for the box. It had a red ribbon tied around it much like the one he’d tied me up with last night. I sat cross-legged on the bed and pulled.
It came off easily and when I opened the box, I dropped it. A loud noise bellowing out of it, like a car alarm. I glanced around and found Jensen leaning against the door frame.
“Didn’t even ask to open it,” he said.
“You left it with coffee. I figured it was for me.”
He pushed off the frame, giving me a disapproving head shake. He picked up the little box and opened the lid, disarming the alarm. “How do you know it wasn’t for me?”
I gave him a flat look. “Is there someone leaving you bedside presents I should know about?”
He laughed and I was about to press him about the mystery man when he lifted a plug from the box, larger than ones he’d used previously.