It wasn’t the kink. It was the fact that it wasn’t a game and she didn’t want to be another man’s property again.
Before she could express this to Brian—and she couldn’t believe she actually had the nerve to express this to Brian—the front door opened and Gabe stepped in, dropping his bags by the front door. He immediately spotted her at the piano and Brian hovering over her.
“I can’t leave for a single day?” Gabe asked, his bitter remark aimed at Brian.
“I thought you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.”
“Clearly. I got done early and didn’t feel like spending the night in a hotel. I drove straight through.” He crossed the foyer and handed a manila envelope to Brian. “Here’s all the information you requested. You’re right, he’s breaking the contract and needs to be dealt with.”
“You could have dealt with him if you were so sure,” Brian said.
“Not my monkeys, not my circus.”
Brian rolled his eyes. “Fine. I need a good kill anyway. I’ll go take care of this tomorrow.” He took the envelope and disappeared down the long dark hallway.
When he was gone, Gabe turned his attention to Julie. “Was he bothering you?”
“No, not really.”
“What did he say?”
“Not much. He was upset that I’m not wearing your collar.”
The tension radiated off of Gabe. Gabe was also upset she wasn’t in his collar. He probably hadn’t thought it would take this long. He’d probably thought she would gratefully do anything he wanted as some sort of payment for rescuing her from Dmitri. And there was a strong argument there to be sure. She could see how another woman might rationalize such a choice. Many women would. After all, Gabe was beautiful and kind and…
But if he was really giving her a choice... If it wasn’t a formality to make him feel better about what he was doing…
“Julie?”
“Yes?”
“Why aren’t you wearing my collar?”
The lump formed in the back of her throat so quickly and so solidly that she wasn’t sure she could breathe around it, let alone talk.
“Gabe, I can’t.”
He sighed. “I can give you more time.”
“Time isn’t the problem.”
“I thought you were attracted… I thought you just needed to see you could trust me. Can’t you see that?”
Julie stared down at the bright white piano keys. “I am attracted. I think I can trust you. I’m not sure how it would feel to be in a sexual relationship after what happened at Dmitri’s, but I think it would be different enough with you that I could probably handle it.”
“So… what’s the problem then?”
“I don’t want to handle it. I don’t want to make compromises and bargains for what I can handle.”
“But you’re like me. I’m sure you are. The way you reacted to… you are kinky. This is in your nature.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s in my nature. This isn’t a game. You want me to be your property for real. And it doesn’t matter how kind you are, or how many nice things you give me. At the end of the day, I have gone from being Dmitri’s property to share and abuse, to your property. And it doesn’t matter if you treat me nicer. I’m not a fucking house cat! I don’t want to be owned. Not by you or anybody else. And I don’t give a shit if I’m kinky! What difference does that fucking make? Do you think that means I want no rights!?! Do you think that means I want to be at your sexual beck and call from now until my lady parts fall out? Really Gabe? Why the fuck do you think this should appeal to me!?!”
He leaned forward over the piano, suddenly far more menacing than Brian had been. “You’re already mine. I bought you. I own you,” he practically growled.
“Then do whatever you’re going to fucking do. But you don’t get to bully me and guilt me and pretend like this is my happy little choice to make yourself feel better about your actions because it’s not. I told you from the very beginning, but you wouldn’t listen to me!”
He started to pace, growing more and more agitated. “I get to do whatever the hell I want. Do you think you’re ever leaving this house? You’re my prisoner whether we fuck or not. Or whether you wear a collar or not. Maybe I should remove my protection and let anybody in this house do whatever with you.”
Julie glared at him. “Then you’re the exact same kind of monster as Dmitri and you never loved me or cared about me. You just cared about what you wanted to get from me.”
Gabe seemed to snap out of whatever kind of psychotic zone he’d fallen into and scrubbed a hand through that blond surfer-appropriate hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’ll leave you alone. But you’re switching rooms with me. I’m not giving you my room for the rest of time if I don’t ever get to return to it.”
“Great. I’m happy to move. I never asked for the fucking room! Hell, put me at the other end of the house as far from you as humanly possible and forget I exist.”
“Fine,” he snarled.
38
Gabe moved her to another room at the other end of the hallway. She learned his routine so she could avoid bumping into him. Weeks passed like this and a chill seemed to form in the house around both her and Gabe. When she would catch a glimpse of him, it was as if there were an icy wall that had grown around him. Everyone else in the house seemed to sense it as well.
He was no longer everybody’s favorite trainer. Now most considered him nearly as dangerous as Brian. Julie didn’t care. Fuck him. If that was all it took for the mask to come off and the monster to come out, better that she know it now than after she’d agreed to some insane arrangement with him.
A part of her brain said that if he really were that evil he’d put her in a collar and do what he wanted, or follow through on his threat and throw her to the wolves. But neither thing happened. He stayed away from her and she stayed away from him and she remained untouched and unmolested by any of the men in the house. Including Gabe. Including Brian.
But Gabe wasn’t the only one who had grown cold. Julie had as well. The other girls hated her now. They blamed her, maybe rightly, for the change that had taken place in their favorite trainer. Annette and Mina were more distant with her these days. She’d hoped she would at least have them as friends but both of them were in the happy slave fog and they loved Gabe. Gabe was just so wonderful. Why couldn’t Julie be a good little victim and give him whatever he wanted?
Sometimes, even knowing the bracelet around her wrist made it impossible, she fantasized about escaping. She wasn’t sure if she would report Gabe to the police. She still wasn’t sure she could do that to him. No matter what other ideas and desires he’d had toward her, objectively he’d rescued her from Dmitri’s house. He at least got a few points, however grudging, for that. Despite the current situation, it was a really big deal.
It was well past sun down. Julie had finished a late dinner and was thinking about going to the foyer to play the piano. Even though it made her think of Gabe. Everything in the house made her think of him for better or worse, so she may as well derive some sort of enjoyment from the situation she was in.