“Got it. Does sex always start with the woman taking off his pants and underwear? Are those the rules?”
“No.” AK47 clicked the mouse and paused the video. “This is very important. Sex is what you want it to be. Some people like different things. But you should only do what feels good for you. Not what some goddamn video says.” She clicked the mouse again and the sex continued. “You make your own rules.”
I blinked. That was not how rules worked, I thought. I asked AK47 what happened when there are no rules.
“Zelda, honey, I know you and Gert have rules, and I know why they’re important. They help you feel safe. But one thing I know for sure is that the world is too complicated to have rules for everything. And when it comes to things like love and sex—you need to kind of figure them out on your own.”
* * *
I decided to text Marxy and ask him when he wanted to have sex. We had been talking about sex for a while and now it was time to make our plans official.
I sent him a text that said, When do you want to have sex?
After three minutes he texted back: I will have to check my calendar and also with my mom. When do you want to have sex?
I told him that I had to check my calendar too. Do you have to check with her?
If it’s on the calendar, I won’t forget, he said. She’s the one who puts things on the calendar so I don’t forget.
He sent three smiling faces and also one that was upside down but still smiling.
* * *
I realized that there was a lot of planning to do. For example, where do people who live with their brothers and mothers have sex?
The next morning I asked AK47 if she could give me advice. Gert was in the shower so we didn’t have to worry about him overhearing. We brought over our bowls of cereal to the table and she asked me what was up.
“I’d like to have sex with Marxy but I don’t know where to do it.”
She scooped up cereal into her spoon. “We should talk to Pearl first.”
“Marxy is already asking her. We texted and he will put it on the calendar, once we have a date. But I realized we need a place to have sex.”
“That isn’t the backseat of a Camaro,” she said. I asked what a Camaro was and she said nevermind. “Let me see what I can cook up. Maybe Pearl’ll have an idea.”
Gert came into the room, wearing a towel around his waist.
“An idea about what?” he asked.
“You’re dripping all over the floor, you fool,” AK47 said.
He wiped his face and told her to put on coffee, and before going to put on some clothes he said, “And who has a Camaro?”
AK47 got up to turn the coffeemaker on and on the way slapped Gert’s butt. “Nobody has a Camaro. Now get out of here.”
chapter nineteen
AK47 told me she had taken care of a place to have sex. She had talked to Pearl and they had a plan. The date was on Marxy’s calendar and I put it on mine, with a star. All week I could not stop thinking about Marxy. I was nervous and excited at the same time, and they were very similar things to feel. Carol said that I was acting weird and when I told her why she smiled and put her hand on my shoulder and said it was amazing.
“I remember my first time,” she said. “It was not ideal.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“We just had no idea what we were doing, that’s all. Fumbling around and all that.” She sighed. “Johnny Tannenbaum. I still remember his name.”
“Was he handsome?”
Carol laughed. “The bluest eyes you’ve ever seen. But he was a good half a foot shorter than me.”
Since Marxy is taller than me, I wouldn’t have to worry about that.
Whenever I had a chance, I studied pictures from a book in the library called The Joy of Sex, which people always looked at in secret. It was filled with naked drawings and a lot of the pages were ripped out. Carol said that people liked to masturbate to the pictures. All the people in them looked happy and beautiful, and unlike the porno videos, they all had hair still around their penises and vaginas. And there was even armpit hair in the women’s armpits.
I made sure that Carol did not see me reading The Joy of Sex.
One day that week I saw Hendo at the library and really did not want him to see me reading The Joy of Sex, so I hid it under a book on the cart and tried to push the cart past him. It was the first time I had seen him in the library without Artem and he saw me before I could push by.
“Hey, Lucky,” he said. “What’s happening?”
“I’m just working,” I said. I asked him what he was doing in the library, since it was not Sunday.
He shrugged. “I had some time to kill, so I thought I’d do some reading.” He held up the magazine he was looking at. It was about basketball and he did not have the newest issue.
I shook my head. “We have the new one in the back. I’ll get it for you.”
When I came back with the new basketball magazine, he was reading The Joy of Sex, which I had left on the cart. My face got red.
“Man, look at this,” he said, laughing, turning the pages.
I looked and he was pointing at the armpit hair. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” Hendo said. “I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing.” And he laughed again.
Most of the women in the porno movies shaved their armpit hair and the hair above their vaginas. Hendo turned the pages and laughed and I asked him if he was into armpit hair.
“Not really. I like women to be smooth, you know?”
I nodded. He handed the book back to me and took the new basketball magazine. “More respectable reading material,” he said, and thanked me and started reading.
After I pushed the cart away, I texted Marxy and asked if he liked armpit hair or not.
BECAUSE I CAN SHAVE MY ARMPITS OR LEAVE THE HAIR.
And he responded:
I DO NOT CARE IF THERE IS HAIR IN YOUR ARMPITS!
* * *
After my shift I was waiting for the bus. It was rainy and the bus was late. There were so many people waiting in the bus shelter to hide from the rain that I only fit halfway in. One side of me was getting wet and the other side was staying dry.
I did not want to go all the way inside because I do not like being surrounded by so many strangers. I also did not want to wait outside because of the rain.
“There’s plenty of room, honey,” a woman said.
I took another step inside. That was as far as I could go.
And then the bus came and it was too full and did not even stop.
“Come on,” the woman said, bumping into me.
Everyone went back into the bus stop and I went and stood with one foot inside and the other foot out again.
That was when a car pulled up and the window rolled down. It was Hendo. He asked if I wanted a lift. “I’ll be going right by your neighborhood.”
“Really?”
Someone from the bus shelter asked if she could get a lift too. “Nice try,” he said, unlocking the door and pushing it open. “Hop in, Lucky.”
The seats were warm when I got in. Hendo said the car was pretty new and the seat warmers were good in winter. “Or rainstorms.”