“Jihae, I just want to know that you’re okay.”
She froze as fury leaped to the surface. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. And she didn’t want to believe the tenderness in his eyes.
“No, you don’t get to see if I’m okay. What you get to do is stay away from me. I’m barely beginning to live again. You can’t pop back into my life and ask after me. You forfeited that right when you destroyed me.”
“I’m sorry. God, I didn’t mean to... I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”
Enough. Jihae drained her drink and shot to her feet, but before she could storm off, Colin gave her a curt nod and strode off toward the opposite end of the hall. God help me. She wanted to run after him. Because despite everything, she still loved him with all her broken heart.
* * *
It was the night of Adelaide and Mike’s wedding rehearsal. His cousin held a special place in his heart and she was marrying a man who actually deserved her. Colin was happy for them but the feeling was dull and faded.
His world was devoid of Jihae, and he was hollowed out. Life had lost its vitality, and he merely endured and survived it. Not that he deserved anything more. He’d betrayed her and broken her trust so completely, he couldn’t even try to apologize to her again. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness. For months, he’d tortured himself with thoughts of should’ve, could’ve, would’ve. He should have done a million things differently. Maybe then, he’d still have Jihae in his life.
But it was too late for regrets. He had poured all his energy into finishing the production of Best Placed Bets. At the very least, he’d kept that promise to her. Now he would have something they’d created together to hold on to. To keep him afloat in an existence he could hardly stand.
Colin was Mike’s groomsman so his presence was mandatory, and there was no way he would ever let them down. Garrett and Natalie were the best man and the matron of honor respectively, so they had made the trip home from New York with their two daughters in tow. Colin’s sorrow and anguish were his to bear, and it was time to take care of the people who loved him.
The wedding party bustled around the small chapel like tiny figurines in a shoebox. While everything seemed chaotic, Adelaide’s wedding coordinator had the situation under tight control. If he remembered Garrett and Natalie’s wedding correctly, the woman was a genius at what she did.
He found Natalie standing near the edge of the commotion, holding an infant in her arms.
“Hey, there,” he said, giving her a one-armed hug and a peck on her cheek. Then he stole a peek at the sleeping angel, just three months old. “Does she have superpowers? How is she sleeping through this ruckus?”
“Riley sleeps through anything as long as I’m holding her. But the moment I put her down in her car seat, she’ll wake up in a second.”
“May I hold her for a bit?”
“Oh, my God. Yes, please. My arms are burning,” Natalie said as she gingerly transferred the little bundle into Colin’s waiting arms. “You’re a saint. Truly.”
“And where is my dear cousin while you carry his daughter to the point of exhaustion?”
“Why, he’s on the more difficult task of toddler duty.” She laughed lightly and pointed past his head. “Look over there.”
He spotted Garrett’s tall, broad form easily, made all the more prominent by the three-year-old on his shoulders. His cousin was leaning his head toward Mike to hear what was being said, but the bellowing commands of his preschooler seemed to make it difficult for him. Colin chuckled quietly, shaking his head.
“So Sophie still rules the household, I see.”
“Hey. That’s only because I allow her to.”
“What about Garrett?”
“Oh, no. He doesn’t get to rule. He’s putty in us women’s hands.”
Surprised laughter escaped his lips, and he worried he’d disturb the sleeping baby in his arms. Thankfully, Riley really could sleep through anything.
The rehearsal dinner was held on the Song family’s garden terrace. After the harried wedding rehearsal, the setting was perfectly intimate and peaceful. When Adelaide’s bridesmaids and Michael’s bickering parents left, the cousins relaxed into the evening. His grandmother finally stood and bid everyone good-night after a long, pointed look at Adelaide.
Garrett had put his two girls to bed at some point in the evening, and sat with his arm around his wife’s shoulder. And Adelaide and Mike held hands on the table and cast blushing glances at each other. Never had Colin missed Jihae more than he did now.
“Will you please stop making those lost-puppy-dog eyes, Colin?” Adelaide said. “It makes me want to fuss over you and shower you with affection.”
“Yeah. It’s pretty damn heartbreaking,” Garrett added.
“Screw you, dear cousins,” Colin replied mildly. But he was panicking inside. Of course, his family would know. They could see his suffering as clearly as he could see their happiness.
“Hal-muh-nee debriefed us on your truly mucked up situation. I can see why she enlisted all of us to help. You’re a mess, dear cousin,” Adelaide said gently. “I think it’s a Song family trait. When we fall in love, we love deeply. We love forever. You have to find a way to win her back.”
“That’s not possible. She would never forgive me. Nor should she.” Colin gave up trying to maintain a light mood. They would see through him, anyway.
“Just look at me and Garrett, man,” Mike chimed in. “We both messed things up so royally, we shouldn’t be sitting at this table with these amazing women by our sides.”
“But their capacity for love and forgiveness is greater than what we could possibly imagine,” Garrett said, his voice rough with emotion. “And I don’t know where I would be today if Natalie hadn’t taken me back.”
“Oh, honey.” Natalie kissed Garrett softly on his mouth and leaned her head against his shoulder. “It was the best decision I ever made.”
“Sometimes you have to forget about weighing things out, and just trust your gut instinct.” Adelaide linked her fingers through Mike’s. “If I hadn’t taken a leap of faith, I wouldn’t be the happy bride that I am.”
“Are you happy, baby?” Mike asked her with such tenderness in his eyes. “Because that’s all I ever wanted.”
“I am. So happy.” Adelaide cupped Mike’s cheek in her hand and he leaned into it. “And I can’t wait to start the rest of my life with you.”
“God, could you guys all stop being so goddamn happy for a second?” Colin raked his fingers through his hair. He was pleased for his cousins, but it reminded him of what could’ve been. It hurt to think about Jihae. “I thought you guys were doing some kind of intervention for me. Not rubbing salt into my wounded heart with your love fest.”