Jenner turned us back the way we’d come in. His jaw flexed before he answered. “I want to do it, but it’s also expected. I asked because I don’t want you uncomfortable. Things have progressed kind of rapidly and slowly at the same time.”
Stopping between a couple of trailers, I leaned up and kissed Jenner on the cheek. Was it sad I swooned over his concern about my reaction?
“What was that for?”
“For being sweet and not taking advantage of the situation.”
Leaning down, he brushed his lips against my cheek as he moved to the shell of my ear. “Maybe tonight I’ll get that goodnight kiss.”
If he kept this up, he might get more, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
I only gave him a shy smile. “Let’s go before you’re late. I can’t be the reason you get in trouble.”
The second Jenner opened the trailer door, a tall, dark-skinned woman with a wide smile came rushing over to him and enveloped him into a big hug. “I heard what happened yesterday. Are you okay?”
Jenner stepped back with a smile that lit up his face. He cared about this woman who, as I took her in, was probably in her late fifties to early sixties. The warmth in her eyes as she looked at Jenner warmed my soul. I was glad he had her in his life.
“I’m fine, thanks for asking. Clara, I want you to meet my wife, Abbi. She’s going to be on-set with me for the day and I knew you’d be mad if you found out she was here, and didn’t get a chance to meet her.”
Placing his hand to the small of my back, Jenner introduced me. “Abbi, this is Clara, the nicest person you’ll ever meet. She’s been like a grandmother to me since the day we met.”
I held my hand out to shake, but Clara was having none of it. She stepped forward and engulfed me in a big hug. “Thank you for seeing the good in him. He rarely shows it to most people.”
My eyes cut to the man beside me. How much did Clara know? Jenner seemed like a private person, so I was surprised he might have opened up to her.
“It’s my pleasure.” I squeezed her back.
“Have a seat while I try to make this handsome man look like he’s dying.” She laughed like it was an impossible task as she pushed Jenner into a chair and draped a cape around him to cover his clothes.
I sat in the chair next to his and aimed it toward the mirror so I could watch everything she did to him. I’d never really thought about men wearing makeup for TV and movies, but as I watched, Jenner wore more makeup than I ever had.
“Do you usually wear this much makeup?”
Jenner’s eye cracked, letting me see the deep brown iris for a millisecond before he closed it. “Pretty much. Luckily, Clara is pretty fast.”
Clara was damn good. At first, she made Jenner look even more handsome than usual, which I didn’t think was possible, and then she continued to add shadows under his eyes and gave his skin a twinge of green while also making him pale. He looked to be on his deathbed.
“Is your character dying?” I asked when she started to fill in his cheekbones to make his face look thinner.
“I wish, but I doubt they’ll let me off that easily.” His deathly pale face frowned.
I hated to ask, but I didn’t want to be anymore unprepared than I already was, so I took a deep breath in and let the words fall out of my mouth. “What’s your show about?” I cringed at how it came out, sounding hesitant.
Jenner’s arm came out as he pushed Clara away and sat forward in his chair until he looked as if he was going to fall out of it. “You don’t know what Alpha Blue is about?” When I only shook my head in response, his eyes narrowed. “Have you ever watched it?”
“I’ve been in college, and we didn’t have a TV,” was my lame excuse.
“You had a computer,” he growled out before sitting back in his chair and closing his eyes.
Clara looked over her shoulder at me with a sad smile before she went back to work on Jenner.
Great! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot on-set. I knew I should have watched some of it last night when I couldn’t sleep but thought if I saw him on my TV, it would only make the situation of me wanting him worse.
For the remaining time we were in hair and makeup, we were completely silent. Jenner didn’t even introduce me to the other woman who came in to do his hair. She stepped inside, and I could swear she felt the tension in the room. She stayed completely silent as she worked. He didn’t even look at me as he exited the trailer to leave.
“Jenner, I’m sorry. I wanted to say more in there, but I didn’t know what I could say in front of Clara.”
“You said enough,” he huffed as he stomped his way down the line of trailers.
“Will you let me explain?” When he kept on walking, I shoved down my pride and begged. I didn’t want him mad at me. We’d made so much progress in the last two days. “Please.”
Flinging his trailer door open, he didn’t look back until he was at the other end of his space. His diva side was showing, and I didn’t like it.
“You want to explain to me why you’re just now asking about my show? Please, I’d love to hear it,” he snapped.
I was over his attitude. I understood that it probably hurt his pride to find out that I had no earthly idea what his show was even about, but he didn’t have to be an asshole about it. I shouldn’t have been surprised, though.
With my hands on my hips, I gritted my teeth. “It’s not like we’ve been married for months. It hasn’t even been a week, and half of that time, we weren’t even talking, so I’m not sure when I would have had the opportunity to ask about it. When you’ve talked about it, you’ve only said negative things, so I didn’t think it would matter that I haven’t watched an episode.”
“It matters okay. I’m here day in and day out wasting my life away on this stupid show to exact my penance, and no one is even watching.”
“Plenty of people are watching, and you know they are. I’m not going to sit here and tell you all about your followers who pant after everything you do to boost your ego.”
“No, you’re just here to put me down and remind me why I’m here in the first place.” He threw himself down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling.
“If you’re going to be an asshole, I can call an Uber to pick me up. I don’t need to stay here and have you treat me like shit.” He sat up and glared at me. “I’m sorry, I haven’t watched your show. You know when I was younger, I had a crush on you, but when stories started to spread about you and the pictures that were posted . . . ” I shook my head, remembering how devastated I’d been when my dream man turned out to be nothing but someone who couldn’t control his impulses.
“What happened? Tell me. Give me all the ugly details.” He hung his head as he continued. “Tell me what a fuck-up I became and how you lost any semblance of respect for me.”
Fuck, I was a bitch. I never wanted Jenner to feel down about himself because of me, but that’s exactly what I’d done.
Slowly, I walked across the space with my eyes trained on the man before me. When I got in front of him, I kneeled down and dipped my head until we made eye contact. It wasn’t the most pleasant position, but I wanted to meet him on his ground. I wanted to show him that I cared and didn’t feel those horrible feelings anymore.