She screams my name and her body trembles with the force of her orgasm.
"Kiss me." She pants and I stop moving, dropping her legs from my shoulders. "Please."
I bring my lips a breadth width from hers, "no."
Then I continue to pump inside of her, chasing my own orgasm, and ignoring the glare she's firing at me. She can be pissed all she wants, I let her come, didn't I?
My orgasm rushes in at me and I only have a split second to decide whether I want to cum in her or not. Fuck it, I'll let her have the pleasure of my seed coating her insides and this time I can be the one to feel what it's like to cum raw inside a girl. It's not something I ever did before.
Her eyes roll back as she once again clenches around me, milking my cock for every single drop, and holding me in her tight grip.
I pull out and roll over onto my back on the bed and try to bring my breathing back under control, boring vanilla sex may not be so boring after all.
"Fuck, I really can't stand you." She huffs and gets off the bed. "You are such an arrogant asshole."
She's standing there with just the sweater on and her hands clenched at her sides. I watch as the evidence of our vanilla sex runs down her thigh.
"Kails," I say as I fold my hands behind my head.
"What?"
"You got a little something there on your thigh." I point out and watch as she looks down.
"Argh!" She stomps her foot and storms out of the room yelling, "I hate you!" Over her shoulder.
He is an insufferable asshole! I don’t know why I thought I could bring out the Brody I once knew. He’s too far gone and his distrust for me is something hardwired into his brain. He loves to hurt me and watching me suffer for it is his added bonus.
I turn on the shower and step inside, I need to wash his scent off of me. I can’t believe I let him fuck me without a condom and then not do anything to stop him from cumming in me. This isn’t me and I know exactly what’s happening. I am looking for his forgiveness, no matter the cost.
I can’t do it anymore, I can’t put myself through this any longer and staying here is not helping. I can’t leave until I come face to face with Oliver though because when I make a promise, I fucking keep it. I won’t let Oliver kill Brody.
I fucked him in Cooper’s gift, I stick my face into the spray, and try to rinse the shame off of me. I went in there hoping to end it with his cock hard and driving into me. My hand skates across my stomach and down over my folds. I wanted to taste him so badly, I wanted his kiss, and he made a fool out of me by refusing. My fingers tease open my pussy as I think about our previous kisses, all consuming and bruising.
I dip in one finger and then another, as I fuck myself to visions of Brody. In my visions, he wants me more than just to fuck, he makes love to me, and kisses me like I’m the most precious thing in his life.
Shame, thick and heavy coats me when I should be thinking of the four guys who actually do feel these things for me. Instead, I’m here pining for the one who couldn’t care if he tried.
The shower door opens just as I moan mid stroke and I turn my head in shock.
“Heard the shower and thought I’d wash myself off, too.” His eyes fall to my hand nestled deep between my legs and his smile is wide.
“What?” I ask, trying to save myself further embarrassment. “Am I not allowed to finish myself off?”
His head tosses back with a laugh, “I finished you off twice, Kails.”
“Sure but it feels so much better when I envision one of the others instead.”
His facial expression doesn’t change, if anything he is unaffected by what I just said, and why would he care? I’m just a pussy for him to fuck or rape.
I move aside and watch as he submerges himself under the spray. His body is perfection wrapped in a golden exterior and the worst part is he knows it. He fucking knows his appeal and yet he doesn’t give a shit about what people think or how he should appropriately act.
“You’re staring at me Kails.” He turns and flicks my nose.
“I’m trying to figure out why you couldn’t shower in your own room.”
“They are all my rooms.” He shrugs, this asshole.
I continue to stare at him, hoping to make him uncomfortable enough that he’ll just leave and I can shower in peace.
“Whose gift was your favourite?” He asks.
“I don’t know.” I shrug. I do know.
“Well, you fucked me in Cooper’s gift, maybe not that one.” He chuckles.
“I was horny thinking of him while I wore the sweater and you were all that was available.” I snap.
“I’d believe that if you weren’t begging me to kiss you during.” He continues to laugh. “Caine’s is thoughtful but kind of simple. Zeke got you something he knew you would enjoy, was it his?”
I don’t answer as I reach around him and grab the shampoo.
“Or maybe the Teacher’s? Did it bring back memories of fucking him in something similar?”
What the fuck?
“Tell me you weren’t watching that, too?”
“Nope but I’m suddenly wishing I had.” He grins as the water cascades down his chest and bows over his hard cock.
I look back up to him with a brow raised.
“What?” He gazes down at himself. “I can’t help it, my initials on your tit is distracting.”
I look down at the healing and scabby letters. It is distracting against my otherwise clear skin.
“You want me to say your gift was my favorite?” I ask him.
“What? No.” He shakes his head. “I gave you a bunch of dead and dying petals.”
“You gave me Mama.” I whisper.
“What?” He’s looking at me like I’ve grown an extra head.
“It’s the first time I saw her face clearly for a long while.” I step under the spray to wash the shampoo out of my hair.
When I open my eyes again he’s so close I can see each individual bristle of hair on his face.
“I can’t give you what the others do, you understand that right? I’m not your boyfriend and nor will I ever be. I don't want to make love to you because I don’t love you, I don’t want to kiss you because inside you’ll flare with hope for something that will never happen, and I can’t keep you in this house because I see you softening to me.”
His words stab into my heart and slice it open to bleed everywhere. I don’t know how he can just say all that and act like those words aren’t weapons created to decimate me.
“Are you letting me go?” My voice croaks as I struggle to hold in my tears.
“Are you going to cry again?” He huffs and opens the shower door. “You must be dehydrated by now.” And then he slams it shut in my face.
Maybe it’s best I leave and help the guys to try and keep Brody alive, because if I stay here, I’m the one who’s going to die a slow and agonizing death.