It took a few long minutes to recover. Shame, resentment, and even a touch of confusion spiraled within me, but it was regret that I’d allowed him to talk me into this mess that dominated.
If Cooper Stanton could fuck me up the way he just had in a sex dream, I didn’t have a doubt in my mind it wouldn’t end well for me once we parted ways.
I was so affected by the aftershocks of my release, my cell buzzing on the nightstand scared the fuck out of me. Seeing Cooper’s name prompted yet another debate, but just before the fourth and final ring, I shakily reached for it and answered his call.
“Cooper,” I said flatly.
“How did you know it was me?”
“I stole your number out of Rebecca’s phone,” I said without embarrassment. “I meant it when I said I wanted to call you… to see how you were doing.”
He chuckled. “I did the same.” His levity was soon replaced with tension. “Look, I’ve been thinking, and if all of this is too much for you… I don’t want to put you through…” A long pause came before he finally said, “You hate me, and I don’t blame you.”
“Hate you?” I asked, amused. In fact, the entire conversation struck me as funny. There I was coming down from one of the hardest orgasms I’d ever had—that didn’t include another person—and he thought I hated him?
“Yeah. I’m being selfish, and it’s not fair to you to put my psychological issues before your feelings. I decided I’m going to see a therapist, talk to someone. And maybe he or she will be able to—”
“Shut up, Cooper,” I barked, sick of his back-and-forth. I may have given him a pass for all his indecisiveness months ago, but his pushing us into the next step tonight meant he no longer had that right. Going with complete honesty as he wanted, I asked, “Do you want to know what I just did?”
“What?”
“I jerked off to a fantasy of you sucking my cock. So suffice it to say, this goes beyond your psychological issues.”
I assumed from the long stretch of silence my claim had scared him straight again. And then he had to go and ask, “Was I any good?”
“For fuck’s sake! Are you punking me?” I snapped.
“Punking you how?”
I could hear the amusement in his voice, and it further pissed me off. He thought this was all a big joke. “Punking me as in you’ve been with a dude, maybe even more than once, and this is some kind of challenge you set up for yourself in a typical Professor Stanton kind of way. Let’s rattle Ricky Burrows to the core? Get even for his prick-like ways? Maybe you’re writing a novel and I’m your muse?”
His deep, sexy chuckle rumbled through the line. “I assume you have those assumptions because of my sister?”
“Are you denying you love a challenge?”
“Not at all,” he threw back. “But a challenge to me is registering for a 10K marathon instead of my normal 5K. Or taking a class in mastering the art of making homemade sushi.”
“You did that?”
“Yep. I failed it epically.”
It was my turn to chuckle. “That’s pathetic.”
“Don’t judge.” A small groan came next before he added, “But I don’t consider deciding to date a man a challenge.”
“We’re dating now?”
“Like fuck I’ll be getting anywhere near your cock without getting a meal or two out of it.”
There was that smart mouth of his again, and boy would I love to shut him up for real. “Noted. Dinner before you blow me. Got it.”
And just like that, the mere mention of him blowing me caused my dick to stretch, hoping for another round. From his groan, his dick had gotten the same memo.
“Okay, I’m waving a white flag,” he said, and if I didn’t know better, there was a definite strain to his voice. “Let’s swap childhood stories.”
“Well if that isn’t a buzzkill. Okay, what do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Chapter Fifteen
Cooper
I was on the phone with Ricky for hours. We had spoken about everything from childhood friendships to people we’d dated. Somehow, the conversation ended back where it started when he shamelessly shared details of the sex dream that he’d had of me. Once we hung up, I blamed him for the graphic visual I then conjured up, with the only difference being it was him on his knees.
How did I get here?
Until now, kissing and groping was as far as my imagination would go. It was as if I had some sort of mental block stopping me from picturing any real intimacy with a man. But as he gave me a play-by-play of what I had done to him in his fantasy, he also effectively opened the door that my subconscious had firmly kept shut… and now it remained wide open, allowing all sorts of salacious scenarios to slip through.
I had no way of knowing how I’d react to having a physical relationship with him. Just the thought caused a spike of nerves to hit in my gut… but on that same token, I also experienced a spike of want in my libido. The entire situation left me tossing and turning restlessly for hours. That wasn’t unusual for me… the recent subject in my thoughts most definitely was.
When I heard Antonio babbling as Rebecca prepared him breakfast, I decided to give up trying to get any sleep.
“Morning, sunshine,” Rebecca said when I dragged my sorry ass into the kitchen a few minutes later.
“Morning.” I stopped to kiss Antonio’s head as he ran one of the trucks that I’d bought him back and forth across the high chair’s tray.
“Tuck,” he said, lifting the toy to show me.
“Yes, truck,” I confirmed on a laugh before giving him another kiss. “He seems to be feeling better.”
“So far,” she said, knocking her fist on the wooden chair she sat on. “I heard you come home fairly early last night.” Ignoring the eager expression on her face, I reached for a mug that she had placed on the counter and helped myself to coffee. Releasing a thankful groan after just one sip, combined with my not acknowledging her comment, forced her to ask, “You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m great. Why?”
“I was worried you two came to blows last night.”
“Blows?” I repeated with an eye roll, although, her choice of the word blows caused my lips to twitch. “We didn’t come to blows.” If she only knew… but the funny look she gave me had me worrying that she did know. It wasn’t a secret that Rebecca and Ricky told each other everything. If he gave her details of our evening then I would come to blows with him, and not the kind he fantasized about. “Why would you think we fought?” I finally asked when the concerned look on her face held.
One shoulder lifted in a partial shrug. “Oh, I don’t know… maybe because you look like shit after having dinner with a man you kissed months ago, and Ricky, who usually tells me everything, said he didn’t want to talk about it when I spoke to him this morning.”
Wait… what? “You spoke to him?”
“Yeah. He called because there was an emergency on Bella Viaggi. Marco and Ricky had to take the helicopter early this morning and rendezvous with the ship.”