“What time was that?”
“Around six.” Three hours after we ended our call. “Martin, our new executive director, had a death in the family,” my sister went on to say. “Marco is probably on his way back to the port with Martin so he can then hop a flight to Chicago. Ricky stayed onboard and is taking over until Martin can come back.”
I kept my expression neutral. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Yeah, I feel bad for Martin. He was just getting his feet wet.” I watched Rebecca shove another spoonful of yogurt into her son’s mouth. “So what happened last night? I really was worried about you two, especially when Ricky was grumpier than usual this morning. When I called him out, he said he welcomed getting away for a while.”
What the serious fuck?
In three hours, he went from being his cocky self to a chickenshit? What a bastard… and worse yet, what an idiot I was.
There was no way I’d be giving my sister details of my night, and now that I knew Ricky welcomed getting away meant our night wasn’t as monumental to him as it had been to me.
At my dazed silence, Rebecca knocked on the table. “Hello? Spill.”
“What happened to being here for me only if I wanted to discuss it.”
“Who said that?” she asked innocently.
I widened my eyes and said, “You did.”
Antonio’s fussing meant he was done with breakfast, and she feigned ignorance while wiping his hands and face with a wet washcloth. “Yeah, I don’t remember saying that.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“Whatever. You’re both worrying me. I can’t have my best friend and my brother at war with each other.” The only way she could assume that was if Ricky had given the impression we were. Bastard. “No one wants you two to get along more than me, and if things happened between you, that would be frosting on the cake.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” she repeated, and I could hear the hurt in her voice. “I know you’re confused and need to figure this out on your own. Whatever you decide, Cooper, I’m here for you.” Rebecca took my hand in hers. “If it means you want to be with Ricky, or any other man, then I’ll be your biggest cheerleader.”
Remorse hit over my lack of confidence in her support. “I know, Becks. Thank you.”
“It’s the truth. The bottom line is I love you both and want you both to be happy. But if you don’t mesh, then I’ll be the first one to say please stay away from each other.”
I couldn’t agree with her more. Apparently we didn’t mesh, and if from the time we hung up until the time he got that call he decided everything that went down between us scared him, then fuck him.
I did feel guilty keeping information from my sister, but she was too invested in both of us to be impartial. More important, I wouldn’t want her opinion of her best friend to change because of me. And since I couldn’t confide in her, nor could I call Sam, Griffin, or Janis, I’d call Riana later. She was the only one who would be impartial.
“Well, I love you too… and I’m fine.” Wanting to change the subject, I asked, “What’s on the agenda today?”
“I thought we could go to the beach. It’s not too hot out. We haven’t been in so long, and Antonio loves it so much. Is that okay?”
Welcoming the distraction spending the day with my nephew would provide, I eagerly agreed. “Sounds great.”
Meanwhile, I kicked myself for placing all my hopes on figuring things out in his fucking basket. Again, I never considered Ricky not wanting to be a part of my self-discovery… especially after last night.
We both agreed the unexplained level of attraction between us was mutual. He admitted as much when he said he confessed our time together forced him to jerk off to a visual of me. He proved as much when we seemed to detonate with every kiss. So the only explanation—he now was the one living in denial.
Between his wife ready to pop at any moment, the unexpected turn of events with his newly hired executive director, and a toddler with many demands, poor Marco was extremely stressed… which meant my sister was stressed.
Yesterday I insisted they take some time to be together. They resisted at first, but after I painted a picture of them relaxing at a luxury hotel for the weekend, complete with spa treatments and gourmet meals, they caved.
Of course, the hotel had to be minutes away.
Of course, Rebecca left me with a detailed typed list of instructions, as if she were going to a third-world country.
Of course, she backed out at least three times before they walked out the door.
I didn’t take her reluctance personally. She knew I was perfectly capable of taking care of him by myself. How hard could it be? Besides, I owed the little dude for providing a great distraction this past week. I rarely thought of Mr. Chickenshit at all.
Except for at night while lying in bed, when my dick would tap my abdomen, reminding me it was horny.
Riana seemed to think he’d run because he’d felt something more than just lust. In my opinion, that made him even more of a coward. But as I knew she would, my friend played devil’s advocate, reminding me of his experience with that Corey dude. Okay, maybe she was right… still, being dismissed stung.
So there I was, changing Antonio’s diaper for what seemed like the hundredth time since Rebecca and Marco left a few hours ago, while I formulated a game plan for the rest of my time in Florida.
Come Monday, I decided I’d research therapists in the area. In addition, I planned to check out the support group Riana had sent me a link for, whose members were conflicted with similar confusions to mine. And last, I was going to hit the hot spots in Fort Lauderdale, open to meeting someone… man or woman.
“Sound good, kid?” I asked my nephew, who was enthralled with my cell phone. He glanced at me, blinked, and returned his focus to the most annoying song I’d ever heard, regarding a baby shark. “Yeah, I agree. My problem is boring.”
I lifted him and asked, “What now?” It was only two in the afternoon, and the stretch of time until another distraction came in the form of dinner seemed eons away. To add insult to injury, rain had made it an inside day. “How about you watch this on the big screen for a bit?” I asked him and waited for confirmation.
When he uttered a word that sounded similar to shark, I took that as a yes and loaded an episode up on the flat-screen. Only when he saw that animated fish dancing around on the wall did he finally relinquish my cell.
And no sooner had I placed it on the table beside me than it began to buzz. Expecting the fifth call from my sister, my heart stalled at seeing it wasn’t her.
“Hello.”
“Hi.” My silence stretched before he said, “Can we talk?”
“About what?” The fact you took off at the first chance without an explanation.
But when he said, “Let me in,” my heart began pounding for other reasons.
“I’m busy.” I had no desire to see him.
“Open the damn door, Cooper,” he barked.
“Fine.” I ended the call, glanced at Antonio to be sure he was okay, and trekked toward the door. There he stood, still in what I knew was his uniform—a navy polo shirt with the ship’s logo and khaki slacks. Droplets of rain clung to his thick hair and darkened the fabric on his shoulders.