Despite all that, the most important part of our equation was that I still hadn’t acknowledged my feelings for him. As I said, I was ready to. I just never seemed to find the right time.
After seeing Corey, the only thing I felt was disgust. For years I had wondered if there was anything still there, any feelings at all. His stumbling into my life out of the blue proved there wasn’t. It also proved I did have feelings for Cooper. My plan had been to let him know I cared about him before he left, while also admitting I’d be there for him in any way he saw fit. I thought it was a good plan.
Meanwhile, Cooper laughed at and teased his sister, pretending the last five seconds of our conversation hadn’t happened. But I knew well enough this discussion was far from over.
No sooner had we walked out of his sister’s house than he began arguing the need to stay with me… even going as far as suggesting that I drop him off at a hotel.
Fucking ridiculous.
Obviously, I ignored him. The moment Cooper and I entered my apartment, I tossed my keys on the island, along with my phone, while he walked past me without a word. It was clear that until we had a little chat, Mr. Stanton would be in his foul mood. Waiting until just before he left to reveal my feelings in some form of a grand gesture wouldn’t fly. The time had come to show my cards.
Until now, I’d foolishly thought my affectionate actions spoke volumes. By the way I could barely keep my hands off him, I assumed he knew how much he had squirmed his way into my heart. Obviously, my physicality and sexual attraction toward him wasn’t enough.
In my defense, what did I know? This was the first truly serious relationship I’d ever had. He couldn’t blame me for my ignorance. But could I blame him? His accusations were spot-on. I did constantly insert dry humor and then avoid. That had been a flaw that I’d carried for years. Regardless, it was time to set things straight and open up.
Closing the distance, I came up behind him, and he slowly turned. Our tethered gaze was the only thing connected between us, but it was enough. “I want you to be here.” All I got was a nod. Why would he make it any easier on me? “And… I know there is a fuck ton more for me to say… but… do you mind if I take a quick shower before I do? I still smell Liliana’s spit-up.”
“Yes, please.” His face cracked with a grin. The kid had gotten me good, a projectile of yuck into my hair, ear, and down my shirt. “Regurgitated breastmilk and dish soap don’t mix well. You stink.”
“Smart-ass.” I pressed my lips to his. “Open a bottle of wine. I’ll be out in ten.”
Once he nodded and moved past me toward the kitchen, I stripped out of my shirt while walking to my room. Seconds later, I was in the shower, washing away baby throw-up and planning a spiel in my head. This was going to be a long talk, and I wanted to be sure he understood everything I hadn’t said until now.
Seven minutes later, I sauntered into the kitchen in a pair of gray sweats and nothing else, because I knew how much he loved my dick print in them. Hey, I’d take all the help I could get for this daunting task.
Cooper stood at the island, sipping on a glass of merlot, and sure enough, his eyes zoned in on said dick print like a hawk seeing its prey. His perusal never failed to wake the fucker up, and the sooner we had this chat the sooner we could attend to his needs.
When I came closer to kiss his neck, he said, “Mmm… you smell much better.”
“Anything would smell better,” I countered, walking past him to grab the empty glass on the counter. Just as I began pouring wine for myself, my phone dinged on the island with an incoming text.
“That’s probably my sister making sure you didn’t drop me off at a hotel,” Cooper said, stepping closer to where my phone still rested near my keys. But when he casually glanced at the lit screen, the smile vanished, and his gaze met mine with an unreadable expression.
“What? Who is it?”
“An unidentified number asking you to please not hate them.”
I picked up the phone and silently cursed while he continued to stare expectantly. “It’s no one important.”
“Okay,” he said, negating the disbelief in his eyes.
“It’s Corey,” I blurted out. “And I warned I’d be blocking him if he didn’t stop.” Clearly, being thrown off along with my pathetic statement made me look guilty, but I had nothing to hide.
“Hey, it’s none of my business,” he said, but failed to disguise the hurt in his voice.
“Cooper, it’s not what you think.”
“What I’m thinking is I had no idea you were in contact with Corey.”
“I’m not.”
“So he’s texting you why then?”
“You’re cute when you’re jealous.” When his deadpan expression stopped my motherfucking sarcasm in its tracks, I scrubbed a hand over my face and groaned. “This was not what I wanted to discuss tonight.”
“Okay. Well, things happen for a reason. So why don’t you enlighten me on this first?”
“I ran into him in Indiana when I picked up dinner from the steak house. He was with a guy and was surprised to see me. He tried to make small talk, of which I didn’t reciprocate. When he said it would be great to get together and catch up, I shut him down and told him to pretty much have a nice life.”
“He was with a man?”
“Yeah. They had their arms around each other. It was obvious they were together, so, apparently, Corey has figured his shit out.” When his brows rose in question, I added, “I don’t know why he keeps texting me.” I didn’t. “Maybe he’s going through some twelve-step thing. I don’t know.”
“He’s been texting you since our visit to Indiana two weeks ago?”
“No. His first text came this past Sunday.”
“Today is Friday. So if I hadn’t seen your phone…” He left the words hanging. And I knew… right then and there, no matter what I said, it would come off the wrong way.
Chapter Thirty
Cooper
“I would’ve told you,” Ricky proclaimed, but nothing in his demeanor backed up that statement.
“Wait.” Then something occurred to me as I lifted a finger. “The night you picked up dinner at the steak house,” I repeated. “The night we fucked in your room for the first time. That night?”
Wide-eyed, openmouthed silence came until he finally said, “Yeah.”
“The same night you needed me… or so you claimed.”
“I did need you.”
“Gotcha.” I nodded and folded my arms. “To fill an unexpected urge? Wasn’t Corey the only man to ever have fucked you?” I then asked, antagonizing him and not caring a damn in the process.
“No. It wasn’t like that. I swear. What we shared that night was me and you… no one else. It proves how much I care about you.”
A long pause stretched, as hard and steely as my gaze. “Can you understand why I would think otherwise?”
There were so many holes in that story, I felt my stomach churning. Not once had I questioned Ricky’s loyalty, and I wasn’t the drama-seeking type. I hated this crap. It wasn’t my thing… ever. But seriously, what the fucking hell?