“Promise me that you will never go back over to that side of the house if anything would happen to you...the guys know the rules, and I have strict rules here, but I just can’t take the risk.” I need her to understand that I want her far away from that side of the hotel, I will let her go over when we are at the bar or something, but that’s the furthest she can go.
“I promise,” Brooklyn replies. She doesn’t fight me on this. Even if she didn’t like what she saw over there, or she doesn’t want to upset me, either way, I’m happy with it, but I know that she needs to know something.
“Not sure what to say about the club. I always knew I wanted to run my own business, and as crazy as it sounds, I know everyone has fantasies.” I stop for a moment, sit up and snag the whiskey from the bedside table. “I used girls to get my nightmares out, one night, I met Beth; nothing happened, we talked, and I told her if she trusted me, I could help her. I told her to work for me for a while, give me time, and she will never have to work again.” Brooklyn moves her hand up my chest and makes small circles. “Aiden and Rhys have a small share in the club. I worked hard, saved money, people can call me a pimp, but I’m nothing like that. My staff can leave when they want, I will never stop them, their happiness is always a top priority for me.” I can feel Brooklyn’s finger moving along my chest, and I tense up a little, taking her hand in mine, and lay it flat on my chest, so she doesn’t move it. “Every member has to follow the rules, if they break them, they’re out, no second chances”. ”This business, and everything that happens over there, I promise, I don’t break the law, I have high-class people over there, but I promise that you will never have to worry about anything that I do. Understand?”
I know there isn’t anything that Brooklyn needs to know about what happens over there, but if she knows the top layer of what I have worked hard for, that’s enough for me.
“Yes,” Brooklyn whispers, her voice set, letting me know she is happy with my answer. “Do you sleep a full night?”
I let out a small chuckle at her question, as she looks so tired at the moment too. I don’t blame her, I’ve put her through a lot tonight and now this conversation, it will take a lot out of her. Maybe that’s the reason she isn’t asking too many questions.
“I don’t, I get a few hours, and that’s enough for me.” I lie back down and pull her closer to me, her head on my chest, and I give her head a kiss. “You get some sleep, all other questions can wait until the morning.”
I turn off the light and stare into the darkness as Brooklyn falls asleep peacefully against me. Now I wait to see if my demons come out to play again or is Brooklyn being next to me enough to keep them at bay?
When I first started drawing Atlas’ eyes, a year ago, I was confused. I didn’t understand them, I didn’t know where they had come from. But what happened last night confused me the most. It was a lot to take. From Atlas tying me up, which was meant to scare me, it didn’t. I didn’t want him to stop; I wanted so often from him, I wanted to give him everything he wanted from me. My body was pining for him to take me, I wanted nothing to stop him; I was his and nothing was going to get in the way of that.
In my head I knew it was all wrong, I shouldn’t have enjoyed it, I should have screamed at him to let me go, but my heart was pounding for more, begging for more. When I thought of stopping him, I felt my heart cry out for more.
There was something familiar about it, something that felt right about being there with him. I questioned myself why I wanted it, but then I remembered all the dreams before meeting Atlas. The eyes that used to and still appear in my dreams, those eyes were my reality last night, and I craved it.
A shadow appears in front of me, making me close my drawing pad, and look up at who it is.
“Hello, Beth,” I say, looking over at the house, to see if Atlas is around.
Atlas left before I was even awake, but I found his office next door. When someone has a door leading to their office in their bedroom, you know they work too much.
When I came out of the shower, Atlas came in with breakfast for me. He was a little shut off from me, he said that it was a busy day at work, and I chose not to question it. Maybe he thought last night was a mistake, or that the club and his past scared me.
As much as they should scare me they didn’t, and I have no idea why am I so calm about it.
“You’ve been out here all day, everything okay?” Beth sits next to me on the grass.
I came out after finishing breakfast, I wanted to get out of the house. I’ve been here long enough and only left the house once when Atlas took me to the Art Museum. Today I felt suffocated being in the house all the time, not having the freedom to leave when I want. Being alone is nothing new to me, but at the hospital, I had the doctors, the nurses to talk to, then when I got a job, and I finally had friends to chat with. Now I don’t have anyone. As much as I enjoy being with Atlas, it can be a lonely place too.
I’ve sat here all morning, having conversations with myself, asking questions that I know I should be asking Atlas. The main question I have for him is why am I here? That is one thing that Atlas still hasn’t answered, why me? He’s told me I’m here to fix him, but why me from all the girls in America?
“Yes, I thought it was a nice day to be outside,” I tell Beth as I continue to look at the house.
A guest parks up in front of the house, and I see a valet take the keys off the woman.
“Are you and Atlas okay?”
“I hope we are. Not seen him today,” I reply.
Is there something that I need to know about? Is that why Beth is out here talking to me? Did Atlas send her to talk to me?
“He’s had some meetings this morning, then a few of the staff wanted to talk to him. After dinner, I’m sure he’s free.” I turn a little to look at her, I give her a small smile. Not replying back to her, as I don’t know what she wants me to say to her. “He’s happy that you didn’t run away after seeing the club, he also told us he showed you the scars. Atlas won’t admit this, but for him, showing you the scars is like showing his commitment to you.”
“Have you seen them?” I ask.
I don’t know what their relationship is, and Atlas didn’t go into detail about it either. I know he’s had past relationships, and I don’t want to know about them, but I don’t want to live with someone that was in a relationship with him. I was so tired last night, I remember him saying Beth’s name, but I can’t remember if they were together or not.
“No, he spoke about them when we first met, but nothing since then. Aiden and Rhys still look at Atlas, and you can see they remember the day they found him.” Beth’s voice changes as she chokes on the words, she tries to keep her voice calm. “Those three are like my sons, and they’re loving, caring men, damaged in their own ways.” Beth takes my hand in hers and gives it a small tap. “Atlas, the most, no man would ever be the same after the things that happened to him. Rhys can’t forgive himself for not stopping Atlas, and Aiden, you can see he thinks back to that day all the time.” Beth stops, and I wonder what else she wants to say, but stops and looks over at the house.