“How do I tell her that the heart in her chest belongs to a woman I loved, and I took her because that heart belongs to me?” I hear Atlas, and my breath gets caught in my throat.
I can feel a panic attack form in my chest, the spark pulls in my stomach, and the tension in my face increases. My breathing gets rapid, and I’m finding it hard to focus now, even breathing is hard.
I’m a second prize for Atlas, he doesn’t want me, he wants the heart that’s inside me.
My heart beats faster as the tears run down my cheeks.
I try to settle my breathing, but it’s getting worst. I run out of the bedroom and lose balance hitting the table, making it fall on the floor, smashing the items across the floor. I get back up before Atlas can get to me. I run to my room, hearing Atlas shouting my name behind me.
I slam the door behind me, locking it. The onslaught of emotions is making my heart beat at a pace I can’t control.
I empty my drawing bag on the floor and flick it open to all the old pictures of him.
I was drawing him because my heart knew who it was, my heart wanted him, needed him.
I quickly put my things back into the bag as I hear Atlas bang the door relentlessly.
He never wanted me.
I can hear the blood passing through my ears, the loud thump, my chest moving up and down at a rapid speed. I look down at my hands as they begin to tremble, blinking a few times blurring my vision. The pain is too strong for me to fight through. Everything hurts — my heart, my lungs, and my eyes. I struggle to breathe, fight for air, but nothing comes to me. I cough over and over, my throat closing in on me. I feel my head hit the floor when I can’t keep up, and I lie there fighting to breathe, my lungs burning as I fight for air.
I listen to Aiden and Rhys shouting behind me, I know they're right. I need to talk to Brooklyn, I know she would ask, I knew that one day I would have to tell her the truth, but I froze. I had no idea what to say to her, I still don't know how to have this conversation with her. I don’t know how I can tell her, and have her not hate me.
I turn to my bedroom when I hear something break, quickly walking over I see broken glass on the floor.
"Fuck," I curse and run out of the bedroom.
She heard, Brooklyn fucking knows. This is not how I wanted her to find out. I wanted to sit her down, and explain things.
"Brooklyn," I shout, but she's in her room, and she's locked the door. "Brooklyn, I can explain," I start banging on the door.
"Atlas," I hear Aiden behind me, but I ignore him.
I continue to the bang on the door, shouting that I can explain everything to her if she gives me a chance, but she is not opening the door.
Rhys pulls me away from the door, and he stands in front of me. I go to take a step forward, but Rhys pushes me back hard. "You need to calm down, she is scared, her head is fucked up. You need to calm down," Rhys shouts at me. I give him a nod letting him know I heard him.
My heart is pounding in my chest, I can feel the blood pumping hard, scared that she is going to hate me and leave.
Taking another step back, Rhys is right. I have to calm myself down. I need to talk to Brooklyn without scaring her more than she already is.
I knock on the door again. "Brooklyn, if you can open the door I can explain," I say keeping my voice as normal as I can. Even though right now, I'm worried. Worried not knowing what she is thinking. When Brooklyn doesn’t open the door still, I panic and turn to the guys as I fear the worst.
Aiden pushes me out the way and kicks the door open, I run in and see Brooklyn on the floor fighting to breathe. I hold her face in my arms, moving her hair out of the way as she struggles to breathe, her eyes closed, but she’s trying her best to open them.
"We need an ambulance," I hear Rhys shout behind me giving them the address.
"Brooklyn, listen to me." I tell her, but you can hear the panic in my voice, the worry. "Brooklyn, come on, open your eyes." I bring my lips closer to her ear. "I know my little Phoenix is a fighter," I whisper.
Her breathing becomes weaker, almost like she is fighting for every breath she can get. I don't know what to say to her, my body is shutting down on me. I can't lose Brooklyn, I can't lose someone I love, again.
"Atlas, move." Aiden pulls me away from Brooklyn, and I see the house doctor kneeling next to her. I didn't even think about calling for the doctor. "Let him look at her," Aiden says.
I didn’t think about the house doctor, we have two doctors that work here, one for the morning shift and one for the evening shift.
I can’t take my eyes away from Brooklyn, as the doctor looks over her. I don’t know what he is doing, but he has a light flicking it side to side, as he tries to open her eyes.
My legs start to get weak when the fear of something happening to her hits me right in the chest. I can’t lose her. She’s mine! I never left like this in my entire time in the army or losing Lucy; no, right now, I’m paralyzed with the thought of losing my soul again.
"How far is the ambulance?" I look over at Rhys, but he's not saying anything to me. "Doctor?"
"She needs to go to the hospital," he tells me, and I look at the guys. My brain is shut off, and I can't focus on anything at the moment, fear paralyzing me.
"Atlas!" Aiden shouts. "Pick Brooklyn up, I'm driving. Rhys, meet us there." Aiden leaves the room, and I finally get my legs to move.
I calm my breathing down, and focus on Brooklyn, she needs me right now. I need her to know that I'm here, and I will look after her. I promised her that I would never let anything happen to her. I’m not breaking my promise.
I pick Brooklyn up and leave the house, seeing Beth standing by the car with the door open. The water builds up in her eyes as she looks at Brooklyn in my arms.
The moment the door is closed, Aiden races off. My finger moves to her neck to make sure that there is a pulse as Brooklyn hasn't opened her eyes since I found her.
My glance moves to the rearview mirror, and I see Aiden watching me, no emotion in them as he looks at me.
"Brooklyn's been through hell and back, she's a fighter," he tells me.
Leaning down, I give her forehead a kiss as I hear her trying to breathe, it's weak, and it doesn't sound right either, it’s like she’s wheezing. I look up to see how far we are from the hospital, as Brooklyn is worse than before.
Aiden slams the breaks as we get to the hospital, and we both run in, I hold Brooklyn as Aiden talks to the front desk. The next thirty seconds happened so fast, I don’t even know when they took her from me.
Pacing the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to come out, I look over at Aiden on the phone to Beth, giving her an update on Brooklyn.
"Atlas." I turn to face Rhys standing behind me with Brooklyn's drawing bag. "You might want to have a look at what she’s been drawing, I'm going to say long before she met you." Rhys looks behind me and walks over to the seat next to Aiden.
What the hell is Rhys talking about? Why is her drawing important to me? She draws to get away from the world, and it makes her happy. Why would I ruin that by asking what she’s drawing, when she doesn't like to show it to anyone.
I walk over to Rhys as he pulls out of the first pad. I take it in my hands with a shiver.