We both sit in silence, and I think about the three of them together. Aiden and Rhys seem like they have a laugh together, joke around. I remember when I first got here and how they were fighting over my comment about the Candle and Clock. But I’ve never seen Atlas laugh with them.
Which now makes me wonder if they didn’t hold guilt, would they be here now?
“If Atlas asks, can you tell him I’ve gone for a walk around the garden?” I put all my drawing supplies together and throw them into my bag.
“Just the garden?” Beth asks with a small giggle.
“Just the garden,” I reply, returning the smile to reassure her I’m not going into the club like the previous night. After seeing the things I saw there last night, I’m not sure I’m even ready to go back over there, even if Atlas allows me.
It seemed like a long day today, Atlas and the guys didn’t come over to this side of the house even once. Even sitting at the table they’re talking about the club. It’s not a secret anymore —their discussion about the club matters, but I still feel like they’re talking in code. If I’m honest, I’m not listening to what they’re saying anyway.
“What have you been doing today, Brooklyn?” Rhys asks.
He talks to me more than Aiden. Aiden still seems shut off around me, but I have a feeling that he’s like that around anyone that isn’t Atlas or Rhys.
“Drawing, walking around the garden,” I reply, drinking my wine.
“Can we see what you’ve drawn today?” Rhys asks.
“No.” I deadpan.
I’m not in the mood for all this small talk today. Atlas has ignored me, and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Not one of them has asked me if I’m truly happy here. I might seem rude, but I’ve been stuck here all day, and I didn’t sleep much last night, so I’m getting more annoyed with anything.
“Going to see what Gino has made for dinner,” I say, pushing my chair away from the table, and start walking over towards the kitchen.
“Brooklyn,” I hear Atlas behind me, and I slow down. Atlas places his hand on my lower back and moves me along to the room to the side of the kitchen. ”I’m so sorry. I have been in a dark place ever since talking about what happened last night. My head isn’t in the right place, and I my mind is slightly jerky.” Atlas pulls me closer to him. “I would like to say it won’t happen again, but it will.”
“I thought I did something wrong,” my voice low as I don’t know what to say to him.
“No, I messed up. I’m sorry.” Placing his finger under my chin, he lifts my head up. “I’m sorry, I will try to handle it better next time.” Atlas leans down, giving me a kiss, a nice gentle kiss.
All I do is give him a nod, I could see that it was hard for him to talk about it. What happened to Atlas, and how he protected his friends, was a brave thing to do, and I can understand how it would damage any man.
I have questions, but I don’t know when I should ask him. If he opened up to me now, and Beth saying he’s all in, maybe he will answer them.
“Dinner is ready.” Atlas takes my hand in his as I follow him back to the dining table. As I sit down, they start talking about a guest that came last night.
“You think Mrs. Brown will come back?” Aiden asks, and once again I feel like I’m being part of a conversation I know nothing about.
“Her face when her husband showed her what he wanted, I had to stop myself from laughing,” Rhys says as he laughs. I turn to Atlas as I hear him laughing, not a full hard laugh, a small one, but it’s a laugh. The sides of his eyes crease up as he continues to laugh, and I smile to myself to finally see him laugh. Atlas is closed off, but there is something about him that just has me smiling when I’m around him.
“Do you have family here?” I ask, wanting to talk about anything else, but the club for a moment.
“The three of us bounced through foster care, all had the same shit story, this right here is our family.” Rhys points to Atlas and Aiden as they both nod.
I give him a smile as he winks at me. I thought it was just them, but I never thought this is the family. I thought they have family somewhere else, and they’ve moved here for business.
I continue to listen to the conversation around me, not focusing on anything really, as I keep telling myself to ask him why I’m here, ask him from all the girls in America why did he pick me? It’s not like I’m the most beautiful girl out there, or the healthiest, so I need to know why it was me.
I draw in a deep breath, and close my eyes for a moment, as I prepare myself to ask the question. As I turn my head to face Atlas, I open my eyes. “Why am I here?”
I hear Beth choke on her drink beside me, and I see Atlas tense. I take a quick look over at Aiden and Rhys looking between each other. Everyone is quiet, and I look between them as they have a silent conversation between them, but Atlas is only looking at one thing, he’s fixed on the whiskey glass in his hand.
“Dinner,” I hear Gino as he puts the plates in front of us, and no one reaches out for their cutlery, still waiting for someone to say something. Nothing, no one is saying anything.
“May I be excused?” I ask and get no response in return. I know that no one knows what to say to me, but someone can say I can leave. I know that no one will stop me if I do, but I just want someone to talk.
No one will tell me why I’m here, if anyone is going to tell me it’s Atlas and Atlas alone, as the other three are too scared to say anything that will upset him.
“Yes,” Beth answers, as Atlas hasn’t stopped staring at his whiskey glass. “Brooklyn, take your dinner.”
“I’m not hungry,” I say, pushing my chair away from the table and leave. I hear Aiden tell Atlas that I was going to ask one day, as I make my way towards the stairs.
Did Atlas think I would stay here and never ask him? He must have thought that one day I would have questioned him.
I hear a door slam behind me, and when I look over at the table, Atlas isn’t there, and the three of them are all staring at me. I keep my eyes locked on Aiden and Rhys as they leave the table.
The last twenty-four hours have been crazy for both Atlas and I, but I need some answers because I’m falling in love with him. I can’t stay here, not knowing why he brought me here. If I can just get some answers, then it would make it easier to be here.
As I get to the top of that staircase, I make my way over to my room, but stop, and look over at Atlas’ bedroom door. Maybe if it’s just the two of us, he will talk to me. Did he freeze because I asked in front of everyone?
I walk into Atlas’ room, and I hear shouting coming from the office. Aiden and Rhys shout that Atlas needs to tell me the truth.
“I can’t tell her, she will hate me!” Atlas shouts, I move closer to the door which is slightly ajar so I can hear them better. Maybe this isn’t the right way to get answers but I have no other options at the moment.
“Atlas, she will ask you again, and no matter what you do, she will continue to ask until you tell her something,” Aiden tells him.
“Atlas stop fucking this up. You love her, she deserves to know,” I hear Rhys.
I lean a little closer to the door, but I don’t hear anything, I look through the small gap, to see what they’re all doing. Atlas has his back to them both, his head down.