I cannot deny the fact that I’m falling for him. It isn’t just the tingle and tightness between my legs and the buzz of my nipples when I look at him. It’s who he is that draws me to him and makes me want to hold him close.
I am not so naïve that I don’t understand that men are always more accommodating in the beginning of a relationship. And women are, too, if I’m being honest. But this feels different, like it’s for keeps.
At the front door of the bridal house, we say our farewells. I wrap my arms around him, drawing him close. He returns my embrace, squeezing me tight to his chest.
He inhales the scent of my scalp and whispers softly in my ear. “I don’t want to let you go.”
“I know the feeling.” I sigh.
He stands back, his expression focused and intense. “I didn’t think this would be so difficult,” he mutters.
He kisses me deep and soft as my arms run up his back, feeling his body as if for the last time. He pulls away and strokes my cheek before planting one last kiss on my forehead. “I must go.”
He turns away without another word. It’s as if something is being torn away from me, as if the sensation of his body between my arms has become an extension of myself, and now that it’s gone, his absence is like an open wound. A tear forms in the corner of my eye, and I blink it back, shocked by the intensity of my emotions.
His vehicle flies away, and I step through the front door of the bridal house. There are other women walking about the front hall. They look at me inquisitively, as if I hold all the answers they so desperately want.
“You’ve already been matched with a Martian?” one of them asks. She is a petite woman with dark hair and long coiled braids. “What is it like?”
“It’s everything and more,” I breathe. All my feelings for Jaxxo seem to spill out from inside of me in that single sentence.
“Really? That was not what I was expecting,” she says, crossing her arms.
“What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know. Not that. I thought maybe you would be less happy about it all.”
“Are you unhappy?” I ask her, the depth of my emotions extending out to her.
“Don’t you think this is all a little unfair?”
“The Martians saved us from being Mantis food. I don’t know what’s unfair about that.”
“Oh. You’re one of those.” She scrutinizes me up and down as if disgusted and turns away.
I want to call after her and ask her what she meant by “one of those,” but I don’t bother. I have Bobby in my wing. If I need negativity or judgment, I can get plenty from her. I let out a shuddering sigh, take the elevator up to our floor, and walk down the hall to our wing. When I slide through the door, I find everyone sitting in the living room, watching a film on the large screen on the wall.
Bethany immediately jumps to her feet when she sees me. We embrace like long-lost friends who haven’t seen each other in years rather than days.
“How are you? How has it been at his house? You have to tell us everything.”
“We’re watching a movie here,” Bobby objects.
“We can pause it and watch it later,” Madeline says. “Don’t you think it’s important to hear Doris’s news?” She sighs heavily, pauses the film, and turns her exaggerated attention toward me.
I suddenly feel the heat of all their eyes and remember the words of the girl downstairs in the front hall. If I tell them how I really feel, I know I will be judged. It will be worse coming from my friends than from a stranger.
“It’s been nice. He’s still quite a gentleman.”
“You’ve only known him a few days,” Bobby cuts in. “You don’t know what he’s really like.”
“Possibly. But I’m starting to have genuine feelings for him.”
“How do you even know? He’s a hot man, Doris. No man like that has ever paid attention to you. You’re just glamorized by his looks and power. You don’t know him.”
I narrow my eyes at Bobby. The heat of tears prick at my eyes, and I take a deep, shuddering breath through my nose. Bethany grabs my hand and tells the others to watch the movie without her. She tells off Bobby as she leads me into her bedroom. Madeline and Sophia call their apologies behind us as the door shuts closed.
Bethany sits across from me in an armchair as I collapse on the couch and cover my face with my hands. Being away from Jaxxo feels like coming down off drugs. I may be a good girl, but I did go to college. And the emotional withdrawal leaves me reeling. It’s as if I’m falling into a bottomless pit. The tears flow from my eyes, and Bethany gasps, rushing toward me and wrapping her arm around my shoulder.
She rubs my back, asking me what’s wrong.
I blubber a response. “I don’t know.”
“Bobby can be such a bitch sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
We both start laughing. The tears are still flowing, but my mood has lightened.
“How are you really feeling? You obviously aren’t happy.”
“I am though. Jaxxo is great. Really, he is. I feel like I’m falling in love with him.” I start to cry again, deep gut-wrenching sobs. Bethany tries to comfort me. But nothing seems to work.
“You obviously aren’t in good shape,” she observes.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s like being away from him cut something out from inside of me that I can’t get back.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that you are getting a break. That way, you will know for sure whether you really have feelings for him or if it’s just a byproduct of whatever was in the injection.”
“You’re right,” I say, sniffling. “Of course you’re right.”
“So, have you two…”
“Have we made love?”
“I was going to call it something else. But yes.”
“We’ve done things. More than kissing. But less than…”
“You haven’t had intercourse.”
I bite my lip and shake my head.
“How is it? Is he a good… kisser?”
“Oh my God,” I breathe. “So good.”
“That’s surprising, considering he’s most definitely a virgin.”
“He doesn’t… kiss like a virgin.”
“Did he make you come?”
“Oh boy, did he. I don’t think I’ve ever come like that in my life.” I shake my head at the memory of it. It’s still hard for me to believe how powerful being with him really was.
“And did you return the favor?” she asks with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
“He wasn’t going to let me. But I made him.” We both burst out laughing.
“And is he as big as he appears to be?”
“Bigger.”
She shrieks with laughter, and I cover my mouth with my hands and stomp my feet. I clench my teeth at the memory of it. The feeling of him in my hands, stretching my mouth, gushing hot seed over my breasts. Now that he’s gone, the intensity of my desire has come down. But the memory of the actual experience is no less intense.
“And have you gotten to know him, or are you just spending all your time… kissing?”