“There is a point when the event horizon will have passed,” Malico says, “but that moment has not yet arrived. Until then, we must advance our weaponry. The Mantis fleet still far outnumbers our own.”
“Understood,” says King Damious.
The meeting takes us deep into the night. And I know that it is too late to return for Doris. Although my heart burns for her, I fly home to an empty house and climb into a cold and lonely bed.
As I lie awake, staring at the ceiling, the conversation with the council reels in my mind. The embarrassment at revealing so much about my intimate relations with Doris digs in my guts and burns in my brain. I miss her more than words can express, but the deep shame of what I have done compounds with the guilt that already lives inside me.
I know I must tell her. First about my indiscretion in watching the videos and now my imprudence in telling the council about what she has taught me. I know, deep down, that this truth may very well destroy the tender new growth of our bond. And the idea of crushing that sweet connection hurts me to the core.
I turn over in my bed, wishing her little body were here, pressed against mine. But I am also glad she is not here because then I would be torn with the knowledge that I was keeping things from her. And I cannot bear either.
Sleep must have come at some point, deep in the night, because I awaken to the sound of my AI informing me that my housekeeper is at the door, inquiring about breakfast.
“Yes, yes,” I say in a groggy voice, sitting up in bed.
He steps through the door and nods. “Sir, I have prepared a meal for you.”
He brings a tray to my table, and I rise and move to take my chair. He asks if he can get me anything else. I tell him I’m fine, and he strides out of the room.
I sip my coffee and slide my finger over my tablet to read the news. The headline on the news site blares at my sleep-addled brain. I blink several times, in shock at what I am seeing before me. I cannot believe high council information has been leaked to the press.
My life flashes before my eyes as I read and reread the headline a thousand times. But no matter how many times I read the words, I cannot get them to change. My heart is as heavy as all of Mars as the reality sinks in.
“What sensual secrets did Captain Noru reveal to the high council about his Earthling match?”
22
I wake up, missing Jaxxo more than I would think possible. It’s been only one day, but not having him near me is like a knife to the gut. Now that we have been separated overnight, I know that my feelings for him aren’t just a result of whatever was injected into my blood on the ship. There’s something else there. Something soft and tender and real. It needs to be tended to so that it will grow into something mature and substantial.
I climb out of my bed and go to the replicator to make coffee. I take my cup to the seating area. Alone in my room, away from Jaxxo, I have plenty of time and space to think about what I want out of our relationship and our future.
Even though it’s only been a few days, and I’m living with the effects of trauma, I think I can trust him. With time, we can make something beautiful together. Despite the pain of losing my family, I know that I can start over with him, here on this strange new planet.
It’s what I want, and it’s what I’m committed to achieving. With that decided, I shower and dress for the day. The others are out in the living room squabbling. I don’t want to get involved, so I go back to my room. Bethany is soon there, asking to come inside.
“I don’t think I can listen to Madeline and Bobby fighting right now,” I say.
We sit down in the seating area, both of us holding steaming mugs of coffee. She gives me a pensive look, and I raise an eyebrow.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I’m not sure I should say.”
“I know there’s a problem when you get that look on your face. Now spill.”
“Have you seen the news this morning?”
“I didn’t know that Martians had news.” I laugh.
“They do. I learned about it from the AI yesterday, and I opened it up first thing this morning.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Maybe you should talk with Jaxxo about it.”
“Now I’m getting worried,” I say, dreading that whatever I’m about to find out is going to destroy what budding peace I might have had on this planet.
“Doris, it’s not as bad as it seems. I think you should talk to Jaxxo.”
“I’m not going to sit here and play these games. AI, show me this morning’s news.”
The news articles pop up on the screen on the wall, and my eyes go wide. I choke on the coffee I’m drinking and start to cough.
“There’s nothing damning in the article. I don’t think the reporter had much more to go on than what’s in the headline.”
“I can’t believe this,” I say, asking the AI to read the article aloud.
Bethany and I sit and listen in silence. She’s right. The article doesn’t have anything juicier than what was already said in the headline. It’s a bunch of speculation. But the worst part is, they are speculating about my sex life with Jaxxo. There’s even a picture of me sitting beside him in his vehicle.
“How did they get this information? That picture?” I mutter. I can’t wrap my brain around it. All this time, I thought the Martians cared so much about making the Earth women comfortable. It’s such a departure from what I’d believed about them, their culture, and their respect for us that my head starts to ache.
I stand, pacing the room, hoping that the movement will relieve the pressure.
“This doesn’t mean Jaxxo did anything wrong,” Bethany says behind me.
“The newspaper got the information somehow.” My back is to her. I don’t want her to see my hot face. I’m livid. My blood is pounding in my ears, and my head is throbbing. My world feels like it’s falling apart. I trusted him. Now the most intimate thing I could have done with him is open for public speculation.
The AI announces his arrival, and my heart jumps in my chest. I turn back to Bethany, and our eyes lock. I stand there stunned, unable to move, unable to speak.
“Are you going to answer that?” she asks.
“I…” I have no words. I don’t know what to think.
Finally, I tell the AI to open the door. Jaxxo stands on the other side. Bethany looks from me to him and back again before excusing herself to leave. I want to tell her to stay, but I can’t bring myself to speak.
Jaxxo comes to me, asking me what’s wrong. He tries to take my hand, but I pull it away. He then sees the article on the screen. I turn away from him. I tell the door to close.
“Please, let me explain,” he begs.
“What did you tell them about us?” I demand.
“Nothing. I don’t know how this information got out. I’ve asked everyone, and none of the council know who leaked the content of our meeting.”
“You said you told them nothing!” I’m so angry, I’m seeing double. It’s not just anger. It’s total, intense embarrassment. My face is red and hot, and I clench my fists.
“This is highly irregular,” he says, as if this is supposed to make me feel any better. It doesn’t.