“You don't know shit about who Miller is,” I insisted.
“Oh, I know more than you think,” he said in a haughty tone. “I know he likes to have his balls played with during a blow job, he absolutely loves ass play, and he totally gets off on shower sex.” He gave me a satisfied smirk, like knowing those things made him special.
“Oh, sugar,” I said, shaking my head. “That doesn't make you special. At least half the gay men in this county know that much.” I stepped closer to him, and he took a step back. “But tell me this…did you know his favorite flavor of ice cream is mint chocolate chip? Or that his favorite song is Creep by Radio Head and that even though he can't sing for shit, he always sings along when it comes on?” I smiled, remembering him trying to sing in the car on the way back from Oklahoma. “How about the fact that he knows everything there is to know about dinosaurs, and he even wanted to be an archaeologist when he was a kid so he could go hunt for dinosaur bones? Or that his dream car isn't some brand new fancy sports car, but it's a Camaro painted like the one in the Transformers movie?”
I took another step closer, getting in his space. “All you know about Miller is how he likes to have sex. You don't know anything about the Miller Monroe I love, so you can just fuck off.”
A throat cleared from the doorway, and I turned to find Miller standing there. Well, Miller and most of the other guys, but Miller was the only one I saw. I didn’t know how much he'd heard, but I was sure it was enough for him to know exactly how I felt, and probably enough to scare him off. Cruz said something to Jessy, and he huffed and stomped off.
Ripley smiled at us. “I'll let you two talk. But don't take too long. It'll be midnight soon.”
29
Miller
I'd stood there frozen—listening while Landon put Jessy in his place. At first, when Jessy told him that I didn't love him, I panicked and started to move forward again, but Ripley lay his hand on my arm, stilling me, yet again. I wanted to go to him and tell him that Jessy was full of shit. That he didn't know anything about the way I felt, but I waited. I waited while Landon laid it all on the line. He loved me. He knew me. The real me, not the Miller the people I grew up with thought I was, but me, Miller Monroe, lover of mint chocolate chip ice cream, dinosaurs, and Landon Nichols.
However, once he told Jessy to fuck off, I figured we better get in there. Jessy was nothing if not a drama queen, and I didn't see him taking that lying down. I cleared my throat to let them know we were there and went into the barn. The guys got Jessy out of there, and Ripley said some asinine thing about midnight and then left. Like I gave a shit about midnight right then.
“Hey,” I said gently.
“Hey,” he replied, blushing. “So, umm, how much of that did you hear?”
I ignored his question and instead responded with one of my own. “Did you mean it?”
“Which part?” he asked.
“I'm not playing around here, Landon. You said the Miller Monroe you love. Did you mean it?” I stood there waiting while he let out a shaky breath and looked at me like he was trying to figure out what the right answer was. Trying to read me to figure out what I wanted him to say. I hated that he wasn't sure enough of me, of us, to know how desperately I wanted him to say that yes, he meant it. But if he wasn't sure, that was on me, not him, so it was time for me to man up. “I hope you did because I love you, Landon. I love you, and if you didn't mean it, I'm not sure what I'll do.”
He let out a surprised gasp and started urgently digging in his pocket. “What time is it?” he asked, pulling out his phone. Not exactly the response I was hoping for the first time I told someone I loved them. He glanced at the time and then smiled. “Yes, it's eleven-fifteen. We have time.”
“Time? Time for what?”
“Time to make it home before the New Year. My mamaw always says that whatever you're doing at midnight is what you'll be doing all year. And I don't know about you, but I want to be naked and in bed with the man I love.”
“Sounds like the perfect way to spend the next year to me,” I said, relief flooding me. “But we better get going if we’re going to make it.” I pulled him to me and covered his mouth with a kiss. His body relaxed against mine for just a minute before he pulled back and gave me a push.
“There's no time for that right now. You can kiss me when we get home, now let’s go.”
The drive back to my house was the longest thirty-minute drive ever. If I'd had the keys to the Hanson place, I would have insisted we stop there, but I'd left them at my house. The whole drive, I kept running what I'd heard Landon say over and over in my mind. You don't know the Miller Monroe I love. That was what he'd said, and he was right. Not just where Jessy was concerned, but no one knew me the way Landon did. And the miracle was that he loved me anyway.
The comment he made about half the county knowing what I liked in bed wasn't a lie, and while I wasn't necessarily proud of my behavior, I didn't regret it either. I hadn't been ready for anything else with anyone before Landon, but I refused to apologize for enjoying sex. Still, to hear him say he knew it and just blow it off like it wasn't a big deal, but that he loved me anyway…amazing. And knowing that he trusted me, because I hadn't forgotten earlier in the night when he'd given me that gift as well. It all added up to me finding a man I could be myself with, that I could love, and that would love me in return. You would think it couldn't get much better than that, but when we pulled into the driveway and I saw the look in his eyes, I had a feeling it was about to.
I’d had sex more times than I could count, and I’d always enjoyed it. And sex with Landon was amazing, definitely the best sex I’d ever had. But this was different. From the moment Landon said he wanted to be home in bed with the man he loved at midnight, this had felt like more. I knew it was crazy. The last time we were together, I knew I loved him, so in reality, nothing had changed. On the other hand, everything had because now that we had said those words, this seemed…important.
We got out of the car and went inside. As soon as the door closed behind us, he was on me. He pushed me against the door with his long, firm body pressed to mine. He took my mouth with his, and I moaned deep in my throat. His tongue slid into my mouth, and I moaned again. I could have spent forever kissing this man. It was as if time ceased to exist and nothing mattered but the two of us here and now.
He pulled back and said, “Did I tell you that I love you?”
“You told me you wanted to bring in the New Year in bed with the man you love and then drug me here, so I kind of assumed,” I said with a laugh.
“No need to assume. Miller Monroe, I love you. Madly. Deeply. Always. Now take me to bed.”
I took his hand and led him down the hallway to the bedroom. We had been here before, slept here before, had sex here before, but never like this. We stopped beside the bed and kissed again. I reached for his belt and began to undress him, but I didn’t rush. I wanted to savor every single second of what we were doing.
We managed to get our clothes off and crashed together on the bed, a tangle of arms and legs. I rolled us so that I was on top of him looking down into his beautiful blue eyes. “Damn, I love you.”