“Why?” she urges.
I look back at her and run a hand through my hair. Why? “Because I told her to.”
I blink, trying to see, but a cloud of dust covers the car. My ears ring, and I’m upside down. My head pounds from all the blood rushing to it. “Eli?” Cough. “Mad … dox?” Glass covers the inside of the car along with beer cans. Some full. Others empty. My skin stings from the impact of the airbag. The front windshield is completely missing, and I smell blood.
I hear someone cry out in pain, and I look around to see Becky beside me. She too is upside down because she was wearing her seat belt. “You okay?” I ask, coughing again. It makes me flinch.
Her blond hair touches the roof of the car, and her nose is bleeding. Her crop top is ripped and also has blood on it. “I don’t know … what happened,” she cries.
“We gotta get out of the car,” I say as my bearings begin to come back. “Eli? Landen?” I scream. My throat burns, and I try to swallow, but it’s painful.
She sobs.
I place my right hand on the roof and hiss in a breath when a pain shoots down my side and upper chest. So I place my left hand on the ceiling while I undo my seat belt. I try to hold myself up, but I fall flat on my face. Right into the broken glass. “FFFUUCCCKKK!” I growl between clenched teeth. I manage to get my body out of the broken passenger side window and stumble over to the driver’s side of the car. I get down on my knees and see her window is also missing, but pieces of shattered glass are still in around the edges. “Cover your face,” I order and kick the big shards out of the way. “I’m gonna have to undo your seat belt,” I tell her. “Put your hands on the ceiling.”
I get her out through the window, and we both stumble. She falls to her knees, holding her stomach.
“Eli? Maddox? Landen?” I call out, placing my hands on my knees. Nothing. “I gotta call 911.” I pat down my pockets, but I don’t have my phone. I was texting on it when we crashed. Who knows where the fuck it’s at. “Fuck!”
She continues to sob, and I drop to my knees before her. “Are you okay? What hurts?”
She looks up at me and tears run down her face, smearing her once flawless makeup. “I … I …”
“What is it?” I ask, needing her to tell me so I can find my friends.
She wraps her arms around her stomach.
“That’s not enough, Cole!” Deke shouts, interrupting my story. “Why did you tell her to run?”
I look at my best friend and my chest tightens. “Becky was pregnant.”
Austin gasps. Deke just stares at me like he’s not really seeing me. “I …”
He punches me in the face, knocking me back. I trip over my own feet and fall to my ass. I should have seen it coming. He comes for me, his body landing on top of mine, and his fist connects with my jaw. My face starts throbbing, and I taste blood. Usually, I would enjoy this but not like this. Not now. I hate to see him hurting. And the worst part is I did it to him.
“Stop!” Austin cries out. “Deke!”
“I was trying to protect her,” I growl between his punches.
He hits me again, and this time, I land a fist to his side. He grunts, and I do it again. He pulls back, and I kick him off me.
We’re both breathing heavily as we sit on the floor. I stand slowly, and he jumps to his feet as if I’m going to attack him.
He raises his fists, and I do the same. “I don’t want to fight you.” He snorts like he can’t believe me. I lick my busted lip and try to catch my breath. “I told her to run. Do you know what that would have done to her? The baby? She would have been held responsible for something that we now know was never even her fault.” Becky’s parents have money, but I wasn’t sure they would bail her out like my father would me. I couldn’t let that happen to her. Couldn’t put her through that.
“And you did it for Deke,” Austin says. We both look at her, and she’s crying. Tears run down her face, and she licks her wet lips. “You didn’t want Deke to know she was involved at all. Let alone pregnant with his best friend’s baby.”
My chest tightens, and my stomach drops.
“Is that true?” he demands.
I drop my fists. “I’m sorry, Deke.” My voice shakes, and he swallows “I wanted to tell you. But—”
“But you saved her.” Austin interrupts me.
“Stop,” I say when I see the look in her eyes. It’s the same one she gave me up in the loft when she realized I wasn’t driving. Like I’m a fucking saint. I’m not.
“You protected her, Cole. That’s not something very many people would do.”
My jaw tightens. “I used her.”
Deke leans his head back, looking up at the vaulted ceiling and rafters, sighing like he’s counting to ten trying not to kill me.
“How?” Austin asks. “I don’t understand what you mean by use.”
“Cole did her a favor, so she owed him,” Deke growls, knowing how this works.
How I work.
“What did you have her do?” she asks confused.
I look at the woman I’ve come to love in the eyes and hope this doesn’t break her heart. I could lose them both tonight, but I’ve always been a fighter. I’ll do whatever I have to do to get them back. “I forced her to be your friend.”
I swim laps. It’s all I ever do now since the car wreck. If I’m not in a pool, I’m at therapy trying to get my body back to normal because I refuse to lose my spot on the swim team. I’m not sure it will ever be, though, because it hurts all the fucking time. It’s been six weeks since the accident, and I quit taking my pain pills the day I came home from the hospital. I like the reminder. The pain. I deserve it.
“What You Deserve” by No Resolve plays through the outside speakers while I do my laps.
Popping out of the water, I realize I’m not alone. Someone is behind me, but it’s not my father. He’s gone for the week. Running both hands through my hair, I step out of the pool and hold in a sigh. It’s Becky Holt. I can’t get rid of her. She’s just another reminder.
“Isn’t it too soon to swim?” she asks, sitting on one of the chaise lounge chairs under the awning.
I don’t answer. I take the towel off the table and wipe off my face.
She hangs her head. “I’ve been texting you. I came up to the hospital.”
“I didn’t want to see you then, and I don’t want to see you now,” I snap in a clipped tone. I roll my shoulders, trying to loosen the tension. Nothing fucking works!
Tears spring to her blue eyes. “I lost someone too, Cole. Eli was my friend too …”
Friend? We didn’t even know he was sleeping with her. “No, you were just another girl he was fucking.”
She jumps to her feet. “You don’t know …”
I wrap my hand around her throat and push her back against the wall of the pool house. I’m in her face, growling, “You have no fucking clue what I lost! What I did for you!” I did what needed to be done, but it cost me so much. I couldn’t care less what people fucking call me! A murderer. They’re not wrong. I killed three people.