I pull my face from hers. “So you weren’t pregnant?” I ask with an arch of my brow.
Her face pales while her blue eyes stare up into mine. There’s no doubt that Becky is beautiful. The only problem is that she knows it, and she uses it to her advantage. I just never realized how much she played with people until now. I may have secrets, but I don’t pretend to be something that I’m not.
I can be your fucking god—merciful.
Or I can be the fucking devil—ruthless.
Who I am depends on the person’s actions.
She’s frozen in place, her eyes wide and lips parted. I remove my hand from her jean shorts, and it slides underneath her T-shirt, lifting it up to expose her bare stomach. I run the tips of my fingers over her scar ever so gently. “Guess this was a lie, too.”
My eyes meet hers, and they’re full of tears. “Pl …ease.” Her voice shakes.
How easy the tables can turn. I give her a cruel smile. “You know I love it when you beg me, baby.” My hand starts to slide upward, but she shoves it away and takes a step back from me. Not in the mood to fuck around.
The first tear runs down her face. I watch it in complete fascination, thinking it’s a good look on her. That I should have made her fear me more than try to make her love me.
“Was it mine?”
No one knows how far back Becky and I go. Cole believes I’m in love with her, and a part of me was, but we started fucking long before he told me she had broken up with David. I had to pretend I didn’t fucking know. That just gave us the green light to go public. And the fact that Cole went all alpha for Austin, making the entire school aware he was claiming her, took the attention off what Becky and I were doing. The few whispers I did hear were shut down quickly for her sake. But we had been fucking for months prior to that. David be damned.
“So keeping us a secret had nothing to do with you and David. It had to do with you and Eli.” Until he died. I get it now. Fuck, I was stupid for her. “Was the child …?” I begin to ask again, but my voice trails off. I chuckle. This bitch! “You weren’t even pregnant.”
“Yes …”
“No.” I shake my head. Of course. How could I have forgotten? “You weren’t.” She swallows nervously. “I remember us hooking up the weekend before that in my parents’ pool house, and you were on your period.” Her face falls. “Don’t you remember, baby?” I ask, reaching out for her. I pull her to me, and her body shakes. “You told me that I couldn’t fuck you ’cause it was that time of the month”—I lower my lips to her ear—“and I told you blood didn’t bother me.” Fuck, this bitch has told so many lies. “I can’t believe you let him take the fall for you.” I understand why Cole did what he did. I would have done the same thing, but this is why she never wanted me to find out. Because she knows that I can prove she lied to him. And no one wants to be on Cole’s bad side.
“He blackmailed me.” She swallows as new tears run down her face. “Cole …”
“To be friends with Austin.” I nod. “He told us that too.”
“Us?” Her eyes widen.
I smile down at her. “See what I mean by bury you?”
She places her hands over her mouth and sobs into them. “I’m sorry …” she cries out.
“You will be,” I say and give her my back, ready to leave, but her hands grip my upper arm, and I stop, willing to give her a few extra seconds to grovel. I want her to feel weak. Alone. She shouldn’t have fucked me over.
“Please, Deke,” she begs. “It’s not like you haven’t kept secrets from me.”
“What I did was none of your business.” Simple as that.
Her watery eyes narrow on me. “You lied to me!” she screams. “You killed Kellan!”
“I have.” Then I turn and step back into her. “Want to know the truth, Becky?” I grab her blond hair and yank her head back, making her cry out. Lowering my lips to her ear, I growl, “I’m a murderer.” Her body trembles against mine, and she breathes heavily. “I’ve killed a total of five people.” Cole was the only one who physically put his hands on Jerrold when we went to his house and he drowned him in his pool that night, but we all played our parts. I take full responsibility for my actions. I wrap my free hand around her throat and give it a little squeeze. “Do you wanna be my sixth?”
She gasps.
I let go of her and take a step back. “You … What …? Why, Deke?” she rambles.
I’d never kill her. But the fact that I can scare her excites me. My dick is already hard. Now I understand how Cole got off on this shit. “It doesn’t concern you.” I turn to leave.
“Wait! Please?” she begs. “I can fix this.”
“No. You can’t.” Things have gone too far. There’s no going back now.
“Deke? Please? I can’t lose you,” she cries.
“You already have.” I reach for the door handle, but she places her hands on my back, gripping my T-shirt and causing the collar to choke me.
“I’m sorry. Is that what you want me to say?” she grinds out. “I lied. And I’ve felt terrible about it. Austin is my best friend. And I love you. You love me.”
“Not anymore.” I shake my head.
“I don’t believe you,” she argues. “There has to be something I can do. Please … tell me.” The desperation in her voice makes me smile.
I turn around and cup her tear-streaked face. She sucks in a long breath, and her body presses into mine, now interested. Funny how women turn to sex when they’re desperate for forgiveness. “Unless you plan on falling to your knees and opening that mouth of yours so I can fuck it, I have no use for you.”
EPILOGUE ONE
COLE
AUSTIN, LILLY, AND I have been living in our house in Texas for a month now. Deke and I are about to start our first year in college. Lilly will be in first grade.
I thought over time that I would begin to forget what happened to Austin. That maybe putting distance between us and Collins would make it better.
I was wrong.
I thought over time I would begin to understand she was okay. That Kellan could no longer hurt her or take her from me.
Again, I was wrong.
Moving hasn’t helped the nightmares or the memories that flood back. I’ve learned that loving someone comes with a price. Your sanity. And if they thought I was fucked up before, now they’ll think I’ve gone mad. Now I understand what I have to lose. It happens at night when I try to sleep. I’ve never been one to get much sleep to begin with, but now it’s worse than ever. Maybe it’s because things are going so well. Our plan worked, but I feel like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. So my worst fears come to life when I close my eyes.
He’s dead.
I continue to sit in the ditch. The lights from my wrecked car allow me to see everything clearly. I silently rock back and forth with Eli in my arms. I cling to him as tears run down my face. It’s hard to breathe, and my head pounds. My entire body hurts, but I ignore it.
“Cole?”