“H-he…” I lift my head when I hear a soft wheeze. Her voice is so low I have to strain to hear her.
“Helen?”
Her eyelids flutter a few times before she finally manages to pry her eyes open. It’s as if they’re too heavy for her to lift them on her own.
“Are you okay? Do you need me to call somebody? A nurse? Nixon?” I ask, trying to keep my voice calm and steady. She doesn’t need me to panic the fuck out, although that’s exactly what I want to do.
Her fingers twitch between my palms. “F-fine.”
“Should I call somebody?” I look at the door, hoping that somebody, anybody really, will come here and tell me what to do.
“Y-Yas…”
Hearing my name draws my attention back to the woman lying in bed. “T-take c-care…” A coughing fit interrupts her already stuttering words. I lean closer, soothing my hand over her back, pretending I know what the hell I’m doing when in reality I don’t know shit.
“Helen, I really think we should call the nur—”
Her hand grips mine with more force than I thought she had. “N-Nixon… p-please… c-care… N-Nix…”
My heart squeezes painfully as her stuttered words finally register in my mind.
“I-I n-need…”
I return her squeeze with one of my own, sniffling so I prevent the tears from spilling. Even on her deathbed, she still puts her children first.
The sudden urge to call my mom, see her, hear her voice, is overwhelming.
“I’ll try my best,” I say weakly, giving her the best promise I can muster.
“H-he cares…”
With my free hand I wipe at the tear that slipped down her cheek. “He does, doesn’t he? Both he and Jade do. You raised them well, you should be proud.”
“A-am.” She nods and sucks in a sharp breath.
“Want me to call them now? They were really worried for you.”
It doesn’t seem fair that I’m the only one talking to her when she’s awake when her two children are out there going mad with worry.
Helen nods her head. Patting her hand, I put it on the bed and get up. When I open the door, I see Nixon coming out of the kitchen. He lifts his head, his eyes growing wide as panic and anxiety fill them.
“She’s okay,” I reassure him quickly. “She’s awake.”
Nixon nods and rushes into the room. Knowing that he needs time, I go back to the kitchen. Jade is sitting at the table, playing with her food. She lifts her head when she hears my footsteps.
“Your mom’s awake, you should go see her.”
Jade’s eyes go wide at my words. Pushing the plate away, she gets to her feet.
I put my hand on her shoulder as she passes by. “Remember, you have to be strong for her. I know this isn’t easy, for any of you, but for her…”
Closing her eyes, she nods in agreement. “Thank you, Yasmin.”
Once she’s out of my view, I head into kitchen. My phone is still on the counter where I left it earlier. Taking it in my hands, I unlock it and go to my favorites, pressing the call button. As I wait for her to pick up, I walk to the window and look outside. The snow is slowly melting and nature is waking up.
“Yasmin?”
“Hola, Mamá,” I say quietly, as soon as I hear Mom’s voice on the other side of the line.
“Is everything okay, mí niña?”
I inhale deeply, letting my body relax as I listen to her familiar accent. “It is now.”
She’s quiet for a moment. “You don’t usually call this early.”
“I just…” Tears that I’ve been holding back finally come out. “I needed to hear your v-voice.”
She sighs, sensing that something’s wrong. She could always feel it when something was troubling me, and she’d never let it go until I spilled my guts. “Tell me what is troubling you.”
So, I swallow the lump in my throat, and then I tell her everything.
“I have to go back to campus.” I hate to be doing this, but classes and work aren’t going anywhere. I spent the whole Sunday with the Coles, staying as long as I could, but it’s time.
“I know.” Nixon’s arms tighten around me as he presses his lips against the top of my head. The gesture sends a swarm of butterflies through my stomach. “Drive safe, okay?”
I nod my agreement. Pulling back so I can look at him, I cup his cheek. “Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”
“I’ll call.”
“Promise.”
He sighs. “I promise.”
Lifting on my tiptoes, I press my lips against his. His hands grip my hips, fingers digging into my skin to the point that it’s painful. It’s like he’s trying to hold me here for as long as possible, make this moment last forever.
Because as long as I’m in his arms, everything else disappears. I get lost in his kiss, lost in his touch, lost in him. It’s just him and me, two lost souls that want to forget everything bad that’s happening and just be.
Breaking the kiss, he pulls back forcefully. We hold our gazes for a heartbeat longer. Just one heartbeat, and then I turn away and walk out without saying goodbye, because if I do, I feel like it might be forever.
“What’s going on with you?”
I murmur my agreement, wiping a glass with the towel. It’s boring work, but it’s work. And as long as I can keep my mind on something and my hands busy, I don’t have to think, don’t have to wonder.
“Earth to Yasmin!”
My head snaps up at her sharp tone. “What?”
Callie shakes her head at me, a small, teasing smile tilting her lips, but it does nothing to hide the worry in her eyes. “Oh, look, she’s here. What’s going on with you? You’ve been acting off all week.”
“Just a lot on my mind.”
“That why you’ve been drying the same glass for the past five minutes?”
Looking down at my hand, I see that she’s right. I’ve been wiping the same glass while the dishwasher is still full to the brim. Placing the dry glass on the shelf, I take another one. “It’s been a long week, that’s all.”
Get a grip, girl.
If it were only that easy. Ever since I came back to Blairwood, I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything. Studying, classes, work, and hell, even volunteering, nothing seems to keep my attention. Before long, my mind would start to wander, and I’d be back at the beginning, lost in thoughts about the guy I had no right to be thinking of. Or do I?
It’ll be just this one time.
Until it was another.
And another.
So many I’ve lost count.
But what does that make us?
God, just listen to me. Not even a few weeks, and I’ve already become one of those girls. The ones who obsess over the guy, overthinking their every encounter to the point of giving themselves a headache.
“Mm-hmm…” Callie hums loudly, drawing my attention.
I give her a side glance and find her observing me carefully. “What?”
“Where were you last weekend?”
I force myself to continue doing my work, while everything in me stops. Did she somehow find out? What exactly does she think she knows? She can’t know that much. Not with me spending most of the time at Nixon’s family’s house.