I blink, and then blink once again. But it’s her. “What are you doing here?”
She was supposed to be in the room. The light…
The door opens behind me.
“Great, you’re here. Now I can finally go, so I don’t have to listen to his sappy ass any longer.” Callie shakes her head as she walks around me.
What the hell just happened?
YASMIN
What is he talking about?
If you’re not getting a second chance I don’t want mine either.
What second chance? What is going on? Why is he here?
My heart is galloping a hundred miles a minute, and it feels as if it’ll burst out of my chest.
Callie comes to me, leaving the door to our room wide open. Grabbing one of the bags out of my hand, she gives me a quick hug.
“Give the guy a chance? He’s been pouring out his soul to that stupid door for the past ten minutes.”
“Why didn’t you stop him?” I ask, turning to look at her. Maybe if I ignore Nixon he’ll disappear, and I won’t have to deal with all of this yet. Or ever.
Her blue eyes shine with mischief. “Oh, he deserves a little grief for what he did. Besides, it was fun.”
“Pouring ice water over him wasn’t enough?”
After Mom and Grace left, and I walked around mindlessly for a while, I decided to stop being a coward and called Callie. I asked her to meet me in the dorm, and when she came, I finally confessed everything. My reason for coming to Blairwood, who my father is, what happened with Nixon. Every. Single. Thing.
I expected her to be mad at me for keeping it a secret for so long, but as she pointed out, all things happen for a reason, you just have to wait long enough to figure it out.
“Not even close.”
“I love you, Callie.”
“Right back atcha, Yas.” Callie pulls me in for another hug, her lips brushing against my ear. “Give him hell, but think about taking him back? He’s like a lost puppy, making a mess of things, but deep down, he isn’t a bad guy.”
“I—” I lick my dry lips. “I’ll think about it.”
I wasn’t sure I could take more heartbreak. And heartbreak is Nixon Cole’s middle name.
“Good.” She pulls back. “Call if you need me. I’ll be back.”
I nod, and watch her leave. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turn back and face him.
My darkness.
My heartbreak.
My love.
The man who stole my heart and then broke it into pieces.
Seeing him sober in the light of day is like a punch to my gut. My heart aches with the need for him to come and wrap me in his arms and tell me everything will be all right. But my heart is a sucker for punishment, and my brain is done with taking the punches.
A couple of girls come up the stairs, giggling obnoxiously loudly. They stop in their tracks when they see us, giving us curious glances. Well, giving Nixon curious glances. It’s like I don’t exist.
Clearing my throat, I wrap my arms around myself. “We can talk inside,” I say, tipping my chin toward the room.
Nixon runs his finger through his hair. He looks tired, the bags under his eyes still as prominent as they were the day of his mom’s funeral. He nods and goes inside, me following after him.
For some reason I want to leave the door open, but I shake my head at the silliness. The click as the door falls shut sounds almost ominous. I lean against the door and take one deep breath. “You were saying?”
Nixon looks around the room, but then his gaze finally finds mine. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough. But what I want to know is the part about you talking to Dr. Stevens.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything about that.”
“Oh, you most definitely should have.” I narrow my eyes at him. “What did you do, Nixon?”
“It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”
“What did you do?” I repeat, this time slower.
“I told her I don’t want her extension, you happy? If you’re failing that class because you were helping me, then so help me God, I’m going to fail it too. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Nixon…”
“No, it doesn’t matter. Nothing fucking matters, why can’t you see this?”
He stalks toward me, his hand outstretched. I try to pull back but I’m already leaning against the door. There is nowhere to run. And I need to run. If I don’t, if he touches me, I’m not sure what I’ll do.
Nixon can see my unease, because he stops when we’re toe to toe. I can feel his body heat enveloping me from all sides. So close I can touch him, but so far away. Always out of my reach.
“You don’t mean it,” I whisper.
“I mean it, Yasmin.” His eyes roam over my face, taking in every inch as if he can’t get enough of me. “I missed you, since the moment you left, I missed you, and I wanted to call you and ask you to come back.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you deserved better. You deserve a better man.”
“I never wanted a better man, I wanted you.”
“And I tried to save you from the train wreck that’s my life, but as it turns out, even in that, I was too late.”
“I didn’t need you to save me, I needed you to be with me. I need you to l—”
I bite my tongue, stopping the word from coming out. I won’t beg another man to love me. Never again.
Tears gather in my eyes, so I close them. I can feel them burn behind my closed eyelids. One slips away and falls down my cheek.
“Don’t cry,” he whispers, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “I never wanted to make you cry.”
Opening my eyes, I tilt my head back to look at him. “A little late for that, don’t you think?”
“If I could turn back time, I would have made some different choices.”
“But there is no turning back time, now is there?” I ask sadly.
“No there isn’t, that’s why the only thing I can offer you is a better today, a better tomorrow. Because no matter how hard it may seem, I do love you, Yasmin. I started falling for you that first moment you lashed that tongue of yours at me and haven’t stopped since.”
I do love you. His words echo in my mind, making my heart squeeze painfully.
I shake my head. “I’m not sure I can keep doing this.”
“Then I’ll have to keep working hard to show you that you can. You can trust me. You can love me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But that’s the thing, you asked me to stay, and then you told me to let go. I’m done playing games, I’m done with being second best, I’m done waiting for somebody to love me back.”
Now I’m full-on crying, and I hate crying, but there is no way to stop this onslaught of emotions that’s going through me.
“No more waiting, Yas. This time I’m here to stay. This time I’ll wait until you’re ready to finally let me in again. It doesn’t matter how long because I love you, I need you, and I’m prepared to wait because you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”
Lifting on the tips of my toes, I press my mouth against his. It’s hard and desperate, but he doesn’t complain. My fingers dig into his hair, pulling him closer. His mouth opens, and I slide my tongue inside, needing more.