I’ve been shaking since the moment Cooper took the stage.
My cheeks are on fire, and at first, I had the urge to run and hide, but I couldn’t look away from him.
I don’t think I’ve taken a full breath the entire time he’s been up there, recounting our friendship over the years. Talking about what’s happened between us. Admitting his failures for all to hear.
Cooper is in love with me.
“Holy shit,” River mutters. “I think he’s going to sing.”
I snap out of my stupor, just as the familiar licks of Olivia Newton-John’s “Hopelessly Devoted to You” begin to play.
Oh god.
He lifts the microphone to his mouth and starts the first line.
And it’s awful.
If Cooper thinks my singing sounds like three cats dying, his sounds like ten.
The crowd is a mixture of booing, laughing, cheering, and singing along.
Half of them are still staring at me, and for the first time ever, I don’t care.
No matter how awful it is, I can’t take my eyes off Cooper, and he can’t take his eyes off me.
It’s ridiculous.
Embarrassing.
And I love every single second of it.
He sings every word—horribly—and doesn’t walk off the stage until the last chords fade away.
Everyone erupts into applause, clapping his back and high-fiving him as he pushes his way through the crowd.
“Well, that was some speech,” the MC says into the mic. “Let’s give a round of applause to our idiot of the evening!” Everyone cheers again. “Good luck, kid. Sounds like you’re going to need it. Now, let’s get back to the music, shall we?”
The house music fires back up as Cooper emerges from the throngs of people, striding toward me.
His usual confident swagger is missing, and he looks more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him.
“Uh, we’re going to give you two a moment,” River says.
“Boo,” Maya complains. “I totally want to hear what he’s going to say.”
River grabs her arm and they move down the bar, but I know they’re still watching us closely.
“Hi,” he says quietly, and it’s the first thing he’s directly said to me in days.
“Hi,” I echo, and I swear I see relief in his eyes.
“Caroline…” He reaches for me but thinks better of it and drops his hand.
I hate that he drops his hand.
I need him to touch me. I need to feel him.
“Fuck,” he mutters. “Everyone’s watching us.”
He looks around, scowling at the crowd who is still gathered close and obviously waiting to see what happens, but nobody cares. They just keep watching.
He steps into me, dipping his head low so only I can hear him.
His familiar scent of sage and summer hits me, and it’s not just my hands shaking anymore.
It’s my heart.
“I’m sorry,” he says, his light green eyes finding mine. “I fucked up. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have lied. Because I did—I lied right to you when I said I’d drop it. I had no intention of doing so, and that was wrong. I should have dropped it. I…I just…”
He runs his tongue over his lips, and I swear he mouths the word fuck.
“It was hard, you know,” he continues. “Seeing you throwing away your shot at your dreams killed me. I’ve watched you do it too many times over the years, and I couldn’t do it again. But that doesn’t make what I did okay because it wasn’t about me. It was never about me. It was about you. I know that, and I’m sorry I took your day away from you. I’m sorry I pushed you. I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry. I didn’t treat you as a friend, and I certainly didn’t treat you as a partner.”
He takes another step closer, and I hold my breath.
“If you’re willing to give me another chance, I promise I will never, ever disrespect you again.”
I hate hearing him admit he lied and knew what he was doing. Hate hearing that it was a calculated decision. It hurts all over again.
But…I believe him.
He’s sorry, and I believe that.
Tired of the audience, I grab his hand, pulling him toward the hallway where he first kissed me.
I drop his hand when we’re alone, turning around to face him.
“I’m still mad at you, Cooper,” I tell him. “I want you to understand that. I’m still hurt, and this is something that’s going to hurt for a while. It felt like my dreams and my desires didn’t matter to you unless I was doing them the way you wanted them done, and I need to know they matter, especially to you.”
“Your dreams matter to me, Caroline, and I’m sorry I ever made you feel differently. You’re the most important person in my life. Not just as a girlfriend, but as a friend. And I don’t want to lose you as either.”
His eyes are pained, yet full of hope.
And I break.
I dive into his arms, and he catches me eagerly, wrapping his warmth around me like my favorite blanket.
His lips find mine and suddenly I’m pressed against the wall. He’s kissing me hard and fast, like he’s scared he’ll never get to do it again.
He kisses me for all the days he didn’t. For all the ways he hurt me and for all the ways he loves me.
His fevered touches turn languid until we’re barely kissing at all, just holding our lips together.
“Did you mean what you said up there?” I ask. “About being in love with me?”
“Hopelessly.”
I smile against him. “Your singing is god-awful.”
“That was so fucking embarrassing.”
“But you did it anyway. For me.”
“For you.” He presses his forehead against mine. “Because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I’ve never wanted this with anyone more than I want this with you. I love you, Caroline Josephine Reed.”
“That’s not my middle name.”
“No, but it should be. I think it’s my favorite one yet.”
I roll my eyes, and he tightens his hold on my hips. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
I do it again.
“Caroline…”
“Cooper…” I mock.
He shakes his head, smiling.
God, I’ve missed his smile.
He pulls back, eyes meeting mine. “Can you forgive me for being a colossal idiot?”
“Jury’s still out.”
“What can I do to help my case?”
“Hmm…” I tap my chin. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, I’ve got a few ideas…”
He captures my mouth again, pressing against me in all the delicious spots I’ve missed him.
I have no idea how long we stay like that, locked together in a kiss. People come and go around us, but we’re lost in our own world.
When we finally come up for air, we’re both smiling.
“I love you,” he says, brushing a stray hair from my face. “And I’m sorry if that’s too much or too scary, but it’s true. If you need time, I understand. I—”
“I love you too,” I blurt.
His face lights up. “Yeah?”