“One day we’re going to get out of this town. You and me,” he continues. “We’re going to leave all this behind.”
“I can’t wait for that day.”
“Neither can I.” He rolls onto his side and I do the same, our fingers still tangled together.
“I don’t know what I would do without you, Oakley.” His voice is soft, barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know what I would do without you.” And I mean it with everything that I am. My eyes slide to the bruise on his face before going back to his. “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do?”
He reaches out with his free hand, pushing my wild auburn hair away from my face. His fingers linger on my cheek just long enough for me to realize it’s intentional.
“Actually, there is one thing.” He inches in closer.
I swallow past the thick knot that settles in my throat.
“Anything,” I whisper.
“Kiss me.”
I can hardly believe my ears. Did he just… Did he just ask me to kiss him?
“Jace, I…” I have to stop myself from rambling the way I always do when I get nervous.
I want to tell him that I don’t know how. That I’ve dreamt of kissing him a million times, but I’ve never actually kissed someone before.
A low chuckle escapes his lips.
“Relax.” His hand slides down the side of my face before his thumb darts out across my bottom lip.
“I don’t know how,” I admit.
“I’ll show you.”
Before I have time to react, his lips press against mine. Warmth spreads through my entire body and I squeeze my eyes shut, relishing in the feeling. It’s hands down the best moment of my life and I never want it to end. Only it does, and way too quickly.
Jace pulls back, his gaze locked on mine.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time.” He smiles in a way that reaches his eyes.
“Me too,” I shyly admit, my cheeks heating pink.
I’m not used to this. This uncertainty, this nervousness that suddenly happens whenever I see Jace. Things used to be so easy. So simple. But lately, nothing feels simple anymore.
“Have I ever told you how cute you are when you blush?” He tips my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze. And then he does something I don’t expect. He kisses me again.
His lips are so soft and warm against mine.
“Stay with me tonight,” he murmurs, pulling back.
“Okay,” I agree, knowing my mom will probably not notice that I’m not in bed. It’s not like she makes it a habit of checking on me. If she did, she’d have noticed how many nights I spend out here rather than in my room when it’s warm enough.
I guess that’s one good thing about living in the south. It’s almost always warm enough.
“Okay.” He tugs me toward him, my head settling on his bicep as he drapes his other arm around my middle.
I don’t know how long we lay like that. How long I listen to the sound of his breathing before sleep takes me under. All I know is that if tonight ends up being some wild and crazy dream, I pray that I never wake up.
Chapter Three
JACE
She looks beautiful.
Fuck. Was she always so god damn beautiful?
Her auburn hair is shiny and longer than the last time I saw her. And even though she doesn’t meet my gaze right away, her eyes downcast as she crosses the tiled floor toward me, I can see the deep green with specks of brown as if she were looking right at me.
It’s been four years since I’ve seen her. Four years since I’ve heard the sound of her sweet voice or felt the comfort of her touch. Four years that I’ve spent in a blur of drugs and alcohol. I wish I could say I’ve spent the last four years missing her as much as she deserved to be missed, but the truth is I was too high to really feel much of anything. And when the pain of her loss did manage to filter in, I’d go on another bender to numb it all away.
A fact I’m not proud of. But then again, isn’t that the point of all of this? To right my wrongs. To do the steps. To apologize to the one person that deserves it more than anyone else.
I didn’t want to invite her here. I didn’t want her to see how far I’ve fallen. How many times I’ve failed and continue to fail. But Dr. Bennett thinks that my unresolved past with Oakley is a big part of why I keep ending up back here. Up to this point, I have downright refused to make her a part of this process. She left me, and rightfully so. I didn’t want to pull her back in. I didn’t want to look at her again after what I did to her.
The night of the accident is burned so vividly in my mind. It’s one of the clearest memories I have. And after seeing her laying on the side of that road, not knowing if she’d live or die, I swore to myself that I’d get clean. For her. I waited there with her broken body until I saw the ambulance lights before fleeing the scene, knowing I’d be arrested.
Less than two hours later, I was sitting on some random couch with a needle hanging out of my arm.
I haven’t seen or spoken to her since.
I can only assume she never told the authorities that I was driving. That I was there. If she had, I probably would be sitting in a jail cell right now. I’m not sure why she protected me. Why she didn’t tell them what I had done. Even at my worst, she still fought to keep me safe and out of jail. Though if I’m being honest, jail is probably exactly where I should be.
I’ve done some terrible things, unspeakable things, things I deserve to pay for. And in a way, I guess I have been paying for them. Maybe not in the form of courtroom justice, but I’ve been living in my own personal hell instead.
When I heard she had left town, it was almost a relief because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hurt her like that again. Hurt her the way I knew I’d keep hurting her. Because that’s what I do. Or at least, that’s what I did. I’m trying really fucking hard to get my life together, but it’s a struggle. Every single fucking day.
I hold my breath, my lungs burning by the time she reaches the round table where I’m sitting, my arms folded in front of me. She sets her purse down before sliding into the seat directly across from me, Dr. Bennett taking the spot to her right.
And then it happens. She looks at me. And fuck if the last thirteen years doesn’t hit me like a series of waves, each one taking me deeper and deeper under water until I feel like I’ll never be able to find my way back to the surface.
Her staring at me as we made love.
Her laughter.
Her smile.
The way she always used to twist her hair around her finger.
Memories pound through me.
The last time we spoke.
The first time I saw her.
The countless nights we spent in that old rickety treehouse, talking and laughing. Dreaming about what our future would be like.
Dr. Bennett begins to speak, but my jumbled brain doesn’t process a single word of it. I’m too distracted. Too consumed. Too overwhelmed by the sight of Oakley after all these years.
“Jace.” The doctor’s voice cuts through the fog and I glance up, realizing she’s waiting on me to speak.
I clear my throat, willing the right words to come out.