Every year his parents hosted their holiday gala. Their intention was not to celebrate the holiday, but to impress everyone in town who they ordained to give an invitation to. They liked to surround themselves with people who fed their need to be admired. His mother continued that tradition faithfully.
“Are you sure you want to bypass the gala this year?”
“Completely. I am in no mood for a spectacle. Work has been completely crazy. The last thing I need is to think about entertaining.”
India bent down and picked up another ornament. “How did your mother take it when you told her?”
“She agreed party planning was not exactly my forte.”
“Did she mention when she and Noelle would be coming back?” She tried to ask nonchalantly, though her heart immediately started beating overtime.
Alex shook his head. “They have a lot more to work out than any of us realized.”
“Did Noelle tell her about Kier?”
“God, no.”
“Do you think you should?”
“I would not have thought you would be the one to suggest that.”
“I know. It must be the bourbon in the eggnog,” India suggested as she picked up said mug and took another sip.
“Yeah, Emilia’s eggnog can certainly work miracles.”
India turned away from the tree and walked over to the two men who’d become a central part of her life in just a few short weeks. The point of her moving into the Ivy was to make it easier to let go. Instead, she felt like she was living out an old dream.
The three of them made up the very picture of a family. The daily sight of it was as scary as it was seductive. She could almost see the future that could have been if she and Alex had worked out and gotten married.
“She is your mother and if she truly is trying to work on a better relationship with Noelle,” India mused aloud, “Maybe you need to clue her in on the fact her daughter had a baby.”
Kneeling down, she smiled as she leaned forward and rubbed the tip of her nose against Kier’s. This child had fulfilled her in ways she had no idea she needed. The more time she spent with him. The more she wanted to hold onto him and not let go.
“Are you sure you’re ready for that,” Alex questioned softly as he played with Kier’s arms.
She needed to get away from Kier and from Alex. Continuing to live in this house and be with the pair of them would only result in greater heartbreak for her in the future. India needed to get away from the both of them. She needed to get back to her old life. Her pre-Kier life and post-Alex life.
She looked up at him and nodded. “It has nothing to do with me. After Christmas, I think I need to move out.”
****
Looking at her in disbelief, he fell back against the couch. “You can’t be serious.”
“Of course I am.” India said as she sat back on the heels of her feet and shrugged. “It’s time.”
“No, it isn’t.”
He needed more time. They were growing closer every day. India was beginning to look at him with affection instead of mild disgust. She smiled around him and talked to him. They were rebuilding something real. He needed more time to see it through.
“Look at you, look at Kier.” She said as she waved her hand towards the two of them. “The two of you have grown really close in the time that I have been here. I don’t think my presence is needed.”
“You are always needed, India.”
She wasn’t going to let his words affect her. India knew from the beginning she could not stay with Kier forever. The longer she stayed, the more she fell into the routine of caring for her son and his uncle. She needed to feel needed. It was just a part of who she was.
“It’s time, Alex.”
He lifted his nephew off his lap as he slipped off the couch to sit on the floor in front of her. “You’re running away.”
“No.”
“Yes, you are. You’ve been running away ever since I asked you to think about giving us a second chance. You’ve had a parade of guests come through this house and insisted on having Emilia with us whenever we have had to be alone together longer then ten minutes.”
“I thought it would be best to make the lines clear between us.”
“You’re running away.”
He allowed Kier to escape his grasps, and the boy automatically crawled towards India. A smile a mile wide on his face. Those two were as connected as ever. How could she walk away from that?
India picked him up and held him in the air before pulling him close to her chest. She was his mother through and through. There was no denying it, and the last thing he wanted to do was take that away from her. All he wanted was to become a part of it along with her.
Following his nephew’s lead, Alex slipped off the couch and shifted closer to her and cupped cheek. “We have both grown up a lot from the teenagers we used to be. We’ve learned a lot and lived a lot. I know we won’t make the same mistakes. I can’t let you turn your back on that.”
“Not now,” he murmured softly as he leaned forward and kissed her gently.
CHAPTER NINE
James arched a brow as he lifted his cup to his lips. “You slept with him?”
“Yep,” she admitted in embarrassment.
“More than once?”
India pressed a hand to her heated cheek and nodded. Of course, she did. If she was going to make the mistake of sleeping with her ex, she might as well do it multiple times. It wasn’t like she could un-ring the bell once she rung it.
Plus, it had been a really long time since she’d rung that bell. She had almost forgotten how fun it was to have sex. To be in the embrace of another person and know they wanted her as much as she wanted them.
“So all that talk about not revisiting the past…,” James questioned as he sat across from her in the coffee shop in town.
Rubbing her temple in hopes of staving off the headache, she could feel beginning to form. “I never should have moved into the Ivy.”
“You wanted to be close to Kier.”
She scoffed and brushed her hair out of her face. “Look where that got me.”
Taking a beat, James asked, “do you want to restart things with Alex?”
“No.”
James drank a bit of his coffee before he leaned forward and placed his arms onto the table, “are you sure?”
Of course, she wasn’t sure. Of course, sleeping with Alex would muddy the waters. He used to be the love of her life. For all of his faults, he was the boy who held her hand when she got appendicitis and took her to prom. She had spent most of her teenage years dreaming about their future. She had given him her heart and by the time she got it back, it had been bruised and battered.
Alex had the ability to make her feel so loved and protected. He used to be able to look at her, and everything would fall away. She could lose all focus on everything in her life that wasn’t going right and find solace in him. But there was this other side of him, she did not like as much. A side of him that was cold and calculating.
He liked to get his way and could be unyielding when it came to what he wanted. When they were together, everything was good until it wasn’t. Until their idea of next steps conflicted, and it was time to bend. Something neither one of them was very good at.