Now, I got to live in it and start my life in New England. Far enough away from my mother and her insanity to find some peace. No one knew me here; I wasn’t known as the famous country singer, Denver Copeland’s, daughter like I was in Nashville. I could just be me.
The door to the apartment opened and a male voice began talking. I hadn’t met Chet yet and knew little about him. Griff had been so busy since moving here, our talking had been limited.
“Room’s to the right. Your bed is the one on the left,” I heard him say. He wasn’t alone.
“You get to meet both my roommates,” Griff said, looking pleased.
Then he spoke…The other one…the new temporary roommate. Time slowed and I stood there unable to move. Breathing seemed difficult. My heart was the only thing moving quickly…too quickly. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and although I knew it wasn’t true. It wasn’t him. The voice…it was so similar. Deeper now but the tone, the accent, it was the same. I was going to hyperventilate if I didn’t focus on getting myself under control. It was just a voice. Nothing more. Emotions churned in my chest, overwhelming me, and I still couldn’t move.
Griff’s hand found mine and I heard him say, “Come on,” as if my world hadn’t just been tossed into a churning sea of memories, both good and bad. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly. It had been six summers since I’d seen him. Six years since our lives changed without notice. Why did Creed Sullivan still affect me so much? It wasn’t fair that the sound of a voice could do this to me.
I needed to see the stranger’s face and I knew my emotions would stop going crazy. I just needed reassurance that it wasn’t Creed. Once all I’d wanted was to see Creed Sullivan again. I had wanted to ask him why, have him hold me, promise me he still loved me but that Sailor was no longer. The one thing I had overcome was loving Creed.
That reassurance I had hoped for never came because the stranger wasn’t a stranger.
When my eyes found his face, it felt as if time stopped. All the memories were back and the last moment I had been held by him slapped me in the face. Years of counseling seemed pointless. I was going to fall apart. Jerking my gaze from him, needing to find composure and quickly before Griff noticed, I looked at the other man in the room. The one I didn’t recognize. The face that wasn’t in my dreams and nightmares. The face that didn’t haunt me.
“Hey! I didn’t know you were here and this must be Sailor,” a guy with a headful of blonde curls and bright green eyes said as he stepped forward and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Sailor. I’m Chet. I’ve heard a lot about you, and Griff wasn’t exaggerating. You’re as lovely as he said you were.”
Keeping my gaze on Chet and forcing a smile was difficult. The heat from the other set of eyes in the room felt as if they were burning a hole through my head. How did we do this? What did we say? I managed to form words that made sense. “Thank you, it’s nice to meet you too. I feel as if I know you already.” I lied. Griff didn’t talk about Chet a lot. He hadn’t talked about much at all. Most of our calls had been short.
Chet then nodded his head toward the other body in the room. Although, I didn’t need an introduction. “This is Creed Sullivan, my cousin. Creed, this is my roommate, Griff Stafford, and his girlfriend, Sailor Copeland.”
Griff stepped forward and held out his hand to Creed. “Nice to meet you,” he said, and once again, my body reacted to the sound of his voice.
“Likewise,” Creed said.
I placed another smile on my face that I didn’t feel and shifted my focus from my boyfriend to the one boy I thought I’d love forever, Creed Elijah Sullivan. His gaze was already on me and he gave me a smile that seemed almost mocking. It wasn’t genuine. He held out his hand to me and I stared at it a moment before slipping my hand in his.
He gave me a firm handshake. “Pleasure to meet you as well, Sailor.” And that was it. He dropped my hand and stepped back. His dark hair was longer than I’d ever seen it and tucked behind his ears. He gave me a nod then walked off toward his new bedroom.
Chet chuckled and shook his head. “Creed is a moody musician. You’ll get used to him,” he said.
“No worries,” Griff replied. “I’ve given Sailor the tour so we are headed to get some dinner. Want me to grab you anything? Or Creed?”
“No thanks, I’ve got a date with Chelsea, the girl from the coffee shop I told you about. Don’t worry about Creed,” he paused and shrugged, “he will go out when he’s ready.”
I looked back at the bedroom door Creed had closed behind him. He was taller, his jaw was more defined and there was stubble on it, his voice was deeper. Six years had changed both of us. I may look older now, but he knew me. He could pretend that he didn’t and if that was what he needed to do then fine, but Creed knew me. Too much had happened between us for him to forget my name.
I’d already lived through him shutting me out completely as if it were my fault Cora was dead. I never understood why he’d turned on me and refused to speak to me. Both our worlds had changed the day we found Cora. It hadn’t been our fault. No one had any idea the demons she had been battling. She’d not told us. Never mentioned it. Yet, Creed had refused to speak to me or acknowledge my existence as if Cora’s overdose was my fault. I’d lived with that pain until one day I was different. I wasn’t that girl anymore. He couldn’t still hurt me. Time hadn’t healed everything I realized. My heart wasn’t fully recovered. The ache was there, stretching and waking up from it being lodged down as deep as I could suppress it.
Two
October 25, 2019
I was reluctant to leave the warmth of the bed. I’d woken briefly when Griff’s alarm clock had gone off two hours ago. I didn’t remember him leaving though. I’d slept right through that. We hadn’t stayed up late because he had an early class today, but the travel yesterday had worn me out. The movers would arrive at my Gran’s in two days. I was staying with Griff until my things arrived. Her house wasn’t empty, since she’d left everything in it to me, but I wanted my things to be there too. I wasn’t ready to walk into Gran’s house with just her things there…and no Gran.
I smelled the wood burning in the fireplace, and if Griff had been the last one to poke it then I needed to go tend to it before the fire died. I wasn’t an expert at lighting fires, so I got up and grabbed the fleece rob Griff had left out for me. Wrapping it around my shivering body, I hurried and pulled on some thick fuzzy socks before going into the living area of the apartment.
Thanks to the fire, the living room was at least fifteen degrees warmer than the bedroom had been. The flames coming from the fireplace also didn’t look as if they’d been ignored for two hours. The large fresh logs burning meant I wasn’t alone.