“We’re fine. She’s sleeping like an angel.” She flashed me a bright smile, and I felt another prick of jealousy.
As I made my way to the loo, I found myself hoping that Dr. Stanton was right. I would take walks and medicine and do anything if it meant being able to look at Penny and not see my own failures. I took my time, relishing the few minutes of quiet. The pharmacy was small enough that I was certain I would hear Penny if she woke up. When I finally ducked out, the pharmacist called over. “I have them for you here.”
I paid for the prescriptions and a tin of tea with the herbs he’d recommended. Then I found Nora looking at the menial selection of paperback romances the shop stocked at the counter. She put Seducing the Sultan back on the shelf, grinning sheepishly. “Got everything?”
I clutched the bag, full of tablets and herbs and hope, then nodded. It had to work.
It had to.
Nora talked cheerfully on our way home, filling up the gaps of silence with mindless chatter about her holiday plans. My fingers clutched the wheel more tightly as she spoke of visiting family outside London over Christmas. We’d never discussed what would happen over the holidays. I hadn’t even been thinking about them, and now they were only a few weeks away. I shook my head, trying to rattle the days into place and realized with horror that I’d lost track of an entire week somehow. December had arrived and between Christmas photos, Bless news, and Nora coming to work, I’d lost track of time. Now Christmas was only ten days away, and I hadn’t bought a single present, sent cards, or considered whether we should stay here or return to London. The only reason we even had a tree up was thanks to Smith’s oversight.
“Are you going to be gone long?” I asked Nora in a tight voice. I was still adjusting to having her here. Now she was going to leave. A numb coldness spread through me at the thought of facing Christmas morning this year.
“A day or two,” she said, quickly adding, “unless you need me here. I don’t have to go.”
I wasn’t going to be the monster bitch boss that demanded her nanny work over the holidays, so I shook my head. “Just wondering. We’ll have family around, so I’m just thinking ahead.”
Nora had taken one of the two guest rooms, the one closest to Penny’s nursery, as her own. That only left one room for visitors. Not that I had invited anyone down to stay. Undoubtedly, they all had plans at this point. I hadn’t heard from any of them. Not even an invitation to join Clara and Alexander at Balmoral like we had done last year.
Last year? Christmas in Scotland seemed so very long ago. I’d been hoping to get pregnant then, filled with so much happiness over what the future held. It was hard to believe only a year ago I’d felt that way. It seemed like a distant memory now.
We pulled into Thornham’s circular drive and parked. Between all the baby items I’d insisted we bring after our last disastrous outing, my packages from the pharmacy, and the baby herself, both of us had our hands full. As we reached the door, it swung open. I expected to see Humphrey rushing out to help us but was surprised when Smith stepped out in bare feet and took Penny from my arms.
“Allow me.” He cradled her closely, kissing the top of her forehead. “Hello, beautiful.”
His words, directed at our daughter, stung, and I immediately shrugged them off. Of course, he would call her that. She was beautiful. Penny was the prettiest baby I’d ever seen. It was completely normal.
“Waiting for us?” My eyes raked over him. He was in an old pair of jeans and a loosely ribbed sweater. I spotted his dirty boots in the tray next to the door.
“Just finished up and saw you were on your way back,” he said smoothly, leaning to give me a kiss.
I frowned. “Saw?”
“You were coming down the drive,” he said, but his eyes didn’t meet mine.
Smith was lying to me. I knew it as surely as I knew that I loved him—that he was my soul mate. The lie squeezed my heart, like it wanted to be seen for what it was. I just didn’t understand why.
“How did it go?” he asked in an even tone, so perfectly calculated I wondered if he’d been planning this moment in his head all day.
“He gave me drugs.” I held up the pharmacy bags. “They’re going to fix me.”
“That’s all?” He sounded disappointed, and I wondered if he’d expected me to come back as a Stepford wife, suddenly prim and pleasing and poised.
“I’m supposed to take walks and ask for help,” I bit out with a tired smile. Before I could finish, the door chime interrupted us. Smith had Penny and Nora had disappeared to put away her things, so I answered it just as Humphrey arrived to do the honors.
The detective who’d overseen the investigation into our cellar was on the other side. I shot Smith a quizzical look.
“The family is all here. I do believe you’ve added one to your number,” he said in a jovial tone.
It took me a second to realize he was talking about Penny. I’d been pregnant the last time he was here. “Come in.”
Humphrey looked even more put out that I’d invited the detective inside the house, and he bustled up, offering to take his coat.
“I only came to speak with Mr. Price.” He waved off the assistance. “But if this isn’t a good time…”
“No, it’s fine,” he said.
I held out my arms to take the baby, wondering what this was about. Smith passed Penny to me before leading the police detective into the sitting room. He turned and smiled before he reached for the pocket doors that separated the space. As they slid shut, closing him off to me, I realized Smith wasn’t just lying to me.
He was keeping secrets.
20
Smith
“I am sorry to disturb you,” Detective Longborn said, taking a seat on the sofa. He glanced around the room and nodded appreciatively at the holiday decorations. “It’s nice to see this house with some life in it again. It’s been a long time since anyone celebrated Christmas here.”
“Thornham is a family home again,” I said in a tight voice. Longhorn’s timing couldn’t have been worse. Not only had I forgotten to mention to Belle he’d be stopping by, he’d done so right as she was telling me about her doctor's appointment. Given how difficult it was to get her to open up these days, I couldn’t help being concerned that my window to hear the details would be closed when I was done here. I didn’t want to have to press Nora for information. I’d already slipped up and nearly admitted that I’d asked the nanny to send a message as soon as they were on the way home today.
“You said you had an update for me,” I prompted, ready to get Longborn talking.
“Yes, but I’m afraid it’s not good news.”
I stopped, my eyes wandering to a nearby brass bar cart and the crystal decanter sitting on it. I’d chosen to give up drinking a year ago. Since then, I found myself breaking that promise on more than one occasion. Generally, I did so out of a sense of social obligation. I couldn’t help thinking that a detective delivering bad news about the bones in my basement was just such an occasion. “Drink?”
I half expected him to refuse, given that he was clearly on duty, but he nodded. Maybe, that’s how things were here. It wasn’t as though Briarshead had a high crime rate. Surely, a detective could have a drink in the afternoon with a local. Still, as I turned to pour one, I caught his eyes skittering nervously around the room. What did he have to tell me that had put him this on edge?