My thoughts were constantly on Dominic. It was impossible not to think of Hal and the girls, too, with all the pictures he was sending along of them playing with Baby—no doubt the jerk was doing it on purpose—but it didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t painful in the same way. Hal and I had been through arguments, fights, cold spells, and worse before, and we’d always come through the other side stronger than ever. I didn’t have to fret about Hal.
Dominic, though? I was doing nothing but fret about Dominic.
It was hard to believe how often he was on my mind, breaking into thoughts that should have been firmly centered on the deal Marcus promised would make my career. Dominic was the first person I thought about in the morning, and I felt a shock of disappointment every time I woke up and didn’t see him lying there with me. It was harder than ever to fall asleep at night even though I was exhausted, because I kept remembering him beside me, looking at me from under those long eyelashes and reaching for me before we fell asleep—or, better yet, before we didn’t fall asleep.
We had a compatibility I’d never felt with another person, and I missed the ease of it. It had been so…wonderfully easy. Being with him was a balm for all my self-doubts, somehow, because he’d liked being with me as much as I’d liked being with him. His presence had made every moment seem a little brighter.
And then the going got a little bit hard, and I left.
I shook my head. Way to go, Max.
It was seven o’ clock on New Year’s Eve, and after kicking my own ass this entire week, I’d finally gotten the final changes to the client contract approved and signed. Hands had been shaken, champagne had been consumed—not by me—and Marcus had sent the client off with the smile he only gave to people who were worth hundreds of millions of dollars while I went to close up my office. Next up was the company New Year’s party at an exclusive bar downtown, with more drinking and schmoozing and futures being built.
I had to be there, of course. This year, it was my future with the firm being built, and I had to celebrate that. I should want to celebrate that.
Instead of excitement, though, all I felt at the prospect of an evening out with all the partners and their spouses, carousing and bullshitting and cutting deals, was…fatigue.
“All right, what the hell is the matter with you?”
I jumped.
Marcus was leaning against the doorjamb with a frown on his face. He was already wearing his coat, and I realized that I’d been doing a lot of nothing at my desk for the past fifteen minutes while he waited for me. “Sorry, let me just—”
“No, you stay there.” He came in and shut the door behind him then pulled out the comfortable chair across from me and sat, folding his hands across his stomach. His posture was blasé, but his expression was intense. “Are you sick?”
Was I what? “No, I’m not. Why are—”
“Is there some problem going on that I don’t know about, then? Were you injured worse than you’re letting on in that car accident? Have you developed some sort of addiction? Did you make a bad deal with the mob?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course not.”
“Then I don’t get what’s off with you.” Marcus leaned forward. “Max, you delivered a huge client to the firm wrapped up in a goddamn bow. You’re looking at a promotion, a raise, a whole new level of responsibility here. You ought to be jumping for glee, and instead you’ve been moping around all week like you had to put your dog down.”
I frowned. “I haven’t been moping. I got the work done, didn’t I?”
“I didn’t say you weren’t working hard, but it’s clear you weren’t enjoying it.” His expression softened. “What’s going on, Max? Talk to me. Let me help you figure it out.”
I stared at Marcus for a long moment. This man was my mentor, my guide, my cheerleader and ass-kicker ever since I got to the firm. He’d pushed me harder and farther than I thought I could go, and I had the feeling that no matter what I said next, I was going to end up disappointing him.
Especially because I knew, deep in my heart, exactly why I wasn’t happy. And it was time to own up to it.
I couldn’t help how Marcus would feel about what I was going to say. All I could do was be honest with him, for my own sake. “I don’t think I can stay with the firm.”
Saying it out loud was like pulling a knife out of my chest. It left a wound, but I could also breathe freely again for the first time in days. I couldn’t stay here. I didn’t want to stay here anymore, no matter how much I’d once loved it. A week had been enough to change the compass of my heart, and now it pointed firmly toward Edgewood, my found family, and most of all, Dominic.
“Okay. So what changed?”
I was a little surprised that Marcus wasn’t shouting at me. Instead, his voice was soft, almost gentle. “You’ve never missed Edgewood before, as far as I know,” he continued. “What happened during your visit to change your mind?”
“I didn’t think there was anything there that I couldn’t get here, before.” It was true—Hal and his family would come and visit me here, so that had never been an issue. No one and nothing else in Edgewood was necessary to my happiness. At least I’d thought so before Dominic. Before he showed me the warmth of family, the inevitable silliness of small-town drama, and the undeniable chemistry that sparked between us. “But now there is.”
“You met someone?”
“Met him again, really.” How could I explain Dominic to Marcus? How could I explain how hard he worked, or his incredible perseverance and strength, or how I felt when he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered? “And he’s…New York City would never be possible for him, but…”
Marcus raised an eyebrow. “Old friend or not, that’s pretty serious talk after only spending a week with the guy.”
“He feels serious for me.” God, I was doing a shit job of explaining. “Look, I know it seems impossible, but being with him has…changed my priorities.” I shrugged helplessly. “I love this work, I do. I love being a lawyer, and I love working with you. You’ve done so much for me since I started here, and I can’t believe I’m even considering throwing all that away, but—it’s not enough anymore.”
“Max.” Marcus held up a hand. “Are you trying to apologize to me for falling in love? Because that’s goddamn ridiculous. I know you, son—you wouldn’t bring someone up like this if you weren’t really invested.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
I loved Dominic.
Loved him.
But I had no clue if my feelings were reciprocated in the same way. Was I about to throw everything I’d built here in New York away on a bad guess? Even if Dominic wasn’t on the same page as me… “Edgewood is where my family is.”