I was still too drunk to follow. “Why would Sam be at a jewelry shop? He doesn’t even wear a watch.”
Leo laughed, tears coming to his eyes. “Right? Last summer it was so awkward when he wanted to go inside. He was trying to be all casual about it, and it was hilarious, but I think I hurt his feelings because he said, ‘Have you seriously never considered that we might get rings someday?’ And he was mad.”
Oh. Suddenly everything made a lot more sense.
Leo’s phone rang. Sam’s name and photo lit up the screen. In the photo he was wearing his Steelers hat backward and grinning at the camera.
“Put it on speaker,” I whispered.
Leo bit his lip, his entire body vibrating with nervous energy. “Okay, but you can’t say anything.”
“Okay, okay. I won’t.”
He pushed the answer button, then speaker. “Sam?”
“Hey, babe. I’m so sorry. I forgot about the stupid notifications. It was meant to be a surprise for Christmas. I was gonna ease you into it. I know you’re a couple years younger than me, and it’s a lot. But damn it, Leo. This stuff with your family makes me so fucking angry. I wanna be your family, babe. I want that more than anything.”
Tears tracked down Leo’s cheeks. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I wrapped an arm around Leo’s shoulders and hugged him hard.
“Sanders is listening, isn’t he?”
Leo laughed, more tears streaming down his face. “Maybe.”
“Whatever. I don’t care. I love you, and I wanna marry you, but if you need more time—”
“I don’t,” Leo said. “I mean, I want to be your family too. I’m ready.”
I squealed because Sam already knew I was listening, and this was so fucking romantic I didn’t know how to contain myself.
There was a sob on the other end, which meant macho Sam was crying too. “Fuck, babe. I wish you were here so we could go at it like rabbits all night.”
And this was the part of the conversation I didn’t need to hear. I pressed the speaker button, and Leo glared at me, bringing the phone up to his ear.
“Sanders has suddenly decided he doesn’t want to listen in anymore. Maybe I’ll tell you just how I’d fuck you if you were here. Really loudly.”
I put my fingers in my ears and went to get some ice from the dispenser. “La, la, la, la, la!”
Maybe I acted disgusted, but I was so happy for them.
And so fucking ready for another margarita. By the time I returned with the ice, Leo’s phone was put away, and he was jumping up and down like we were kids again.
“We’re going to get married. I can’t believe it.”
I poured ice into the blender. “I can. You guys were always going to get married. It was inevitable. Like humans going to Mars.”
Leo raised one eyebrow. “Really? You think humans going to Mars is inevitable?”
I poured more than a few shots of tequila into the blender. “Of course. It’ll just take them a long time to get there. Can you imagine getting stuck in a spaceship for most of your life like that?”
Leo cut up a few more limes, and we blended our margaritas like everything was normal. A part of me felt guilty because it had been two days since I’d visited Mom, but I could visit her tomorrow, and I don’t know, just because she was sick didn’t mean I wasn’t allowed to have a life. Right?
I raised my margarita in the air. “To love.”
Leo crashed his cup against mine hard enough that both of our drinks dripped onto the floor. “To love. And copious amounts of sex.”
I laughed and took a long drink. “A million times yes to that.” Just sexting with Briggs had been amazing. I couldn’t wait for the real thing.
Leo stood and headed back into the front of the shop. It was always fun when the coffee shop was empty and we had it completely to ourselves. I followed close behind him.
“To nights off!” he said, crashing our glasses together again.
We took another drink and settled into a pair of chairs by the door.
“To salt-and-pepper beards!” I raised my glass, but Leo shook his head.
“Definitely not into that. How about we toast to boyfriends who come home so sweaty from the gym that sex is like a slip and slide.”
I grimaced. “Gross.”
“Nope. Hot. How about this: to a guy who tells you he wants to be your family.”
We both raised our glasses to that. And maybe cried a little. Or a lot.
I was drunk with Leo, so it didn’t matter. I could be myself and not have to worry about traditional masculinity or whatever other reasons guys aren’t supposed to cry.
“To a guy who sexts with you when you’re upset about failing a test,” I said, forgetting in my drunkenness that I’d never told Leo that I failed my statistics exam.
Leo tilted his head. “I’d rather drink to businesses that are running smoothly even if their owner doesn’t have a degree.” He downed the rest of his margarita.
“But my mom—”
“Your mom is sick, Sanders. And you’re taking care of her and her business. That should be enough.”
“But I promised her.”
Leo rolled his eyes. “What if you focused on your business instead of school? Like that doorway between The Little Bean and Quixotic Books. That’s a good idea.”
Briggs said he wanted to discuss it when we were sober, but he seemed open to it.
“Yeah. We should do it.”
Leo raised his empty glass. “To Narnia.”
“You can’t toast with an empty glass.”
He grabbed my almost-empty cup and weaved his way behind the counter. “I will return with more drinks!” He raised both of his arms in the air, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
This was the best night I’d had in a long time—maybe ever. I kept thinking back to the way Briggs had held me like I weighed nothing, like he wanted to keep me forever. And the way he kissed me. Sigh.
I stood up and walked toward the section of the wall that stood between The Little Bean and Quixotic Books. I’d made minor changes to The Little Bean before. Like the menu and little decorations. But I’d never made a change as big as the doorway would be. I’d never dared to. It was still my mother’s business.
Except it really wasn’t. It hadn’t been for a long time. I was the one who needed to make the decisions now.
Leo came skipping back into the front of the shop, sloshing margarita everywhere.
“Do we have a hammer?” I asked as he handed me one of the drinks.
“Yeah. There’s one underneath the cash register, remember? Your mom put it in there because the old tray wouldn’t always pop out like it was supposed to. Why?”
I smiled at him. “I think… I’m ready.”
“For what?”
That was such a complicated question, and the fuzziness in my head certainly didn’t help.
“To make decisions,” I said. Which probably didn’t make any sense to Leo, but it made sense to me. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be happy over the last few years—to make decisions based on what I wanted, not on what my mother would have done in my place. But now I had a Daddy. Now I had a new business idea that could officially change The Little Bean from my mom’s dream to mine. Now I could travel to Narnia.