He doesn’t want this, this divide between them. Azure is being unreasonable, but he's never made the best decisions when it comes to him. Sometimes, it seems like Azure revels in the harsh treatment. It's a constant push and pull with him.
Pushing just to see how far he can get away with, then pulling him back in tighter than before. Is he an asshole? Yes, but Azure still has his better moments when he's not intentionally giving himself a bad reputation.
Still, this isn’t what he wants to be the final straw that divides them. If he can forgive everything Azure just did on that island, Azure should be able to forgive a single mistake.
Although, as much as he hopes, he’s not naive enough anymore to think Azure works within that level of fairness or equality. It’s everything or nothing with him. Azure probably considers him a liability now and he’s made too much progress to let that stay.
Azure may not have fully committed to him yet, but he doesn’t want to be like Azure. He wants to be trustworthy, for someone to be able to believe in him, for his word to mean something. Someone who can be relied on. He doesn’t want to be known as a liar like Azure.
He chooses Azure because despite everything, he doesn’t believe that Azure is inherently a bad person. Maybe he’s idealistic about people, but Azure’s actions are rooted in self preservation, something he still needs to work on himself. Azure has his loyalty, even if it’ll take more than words for him to return those feelings.
After walking silently for a while, they eventually arrive in a shaded meadow full of small parked caravans and people gathered around numerous fire pits. Everyone he sees wears rough, patched clothing and many of the older ones have ruddy cheeks that only come from spending the majority of their lives outside.
“What are we doing here?” Ocher questions as Azure continues to stride forward.
Azure ignores him, stepping up to meet a man who breaks away from the group. The man welcomes him with a handshake and Azure swiftly evades the friendly hug he attempts. “Were you responsible for that?” The man questions, gesturing towards the few visible tendrils of smoke still rising into the air.
“Just a little distraction.” He nods at Azure approvingly. “Could we stay with you all for a few days? We need to keep out of sight?”
“Of course,” the man looks in Ocher’s direction. “Is he a friend?”
“Something like that,” Azure answers and Ocher grimaces, knowing that he could mean more than friends, but that he actually means less.
“Well, the both of you, have a seat, grab a plate. I’ll find somewhere for you two to sleep.”
“Azure.” He grabs onto Azure’s arm as soon as the man walks away and he's immediately shaken off. “What are we doing here?”
“We have to lay low for a while,” Azure answers without a backwards glance.
“Wouldn’t a small town be better? Instead of the forest.”
“Everyone knows everyone else in a small town, word of our presence would spread extremely fast. We’re safer with these people, they’ve helped me out before. Just don’t say that you used to be a soldier.”
What Azure is saying makes sense, but he doesn’t want to stay in the forest surrounded by strangers to distract Azure from him. He wants a room with just the two of them, so he can try to explain again. Azure won’t listen if there are other people around. Who are these people anyway?
“Can’t we go back to Basel?”
“No. He would let us, but we’d have to travel that far without being caught and I don’t want to put him in a bad position.”
“I didn’t know you cared who you put in a bad position.”
Azure finally looks at him, “I care about my friends.”
Ocher wrinkles his nose, “And what am I?”
“Someone I let stay when he’s not being useless which you’re quickly about to become.”
He opens his mouth to respond when the man from before calls out to them. Azure walks away and he’s forced to follow after him or be left behind. The man points to a green camper, “She said you can stay here if you don’t mind sharing with her son again.”
“That’s fine.”
A kid pops his head out the back window and looks between them questioningly, but his gaze rests mostly on Ocher.
“Welcome back!” He calls out to Azure.
“You know him?” Ocher questions.
“Like he said, it’s the boy’s van. I stayed with him before.”
“Oh,” Ocher replies, shifting closer when some other boys around the same age run over to see the newcomers.
“Hey, it’s you! We didn’t think you’d come back after last time.”
Ocher watches as they all crowd around Azure, singing his praises for the bomb that divided him from the army. They watch him with star struck gazes, asking him questions that he answers earnestly.
He understands their interest and admiration. Azure is someone different and powerful. Someone able to incite change and help them get their plans across. If he wasn’t so single mindedly focused on his own goals and callous, Azure would be someone to idolize.
“We were supposed to come call them for dinner,” one kid pipes up after a few minutes of fawning over Azure. The kids drag the first boy away and the two of them follow after towards the line for dinner.
Dinner is lively, with children running around and everyone outspeaking each other in a cacophony of noise. It’s surprising to him how happy they all seem even though they apparently live out of their vehicles. To him, that’s barely a life, though he can also acknowledge that he still doesn’t know much.
One of the kids from earlier stops in front of him and peers down at him, “You look confused.”
“Why do you all live in caravans instead of in a city?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, “We’re not welcome there.”
“Why not?”
“Because we refuse to give up our rights or children. Taking over other countries just to be powerful isn’t right.
“So, you all left the city in protest?”
He shakes his head, “We’re not from Haithen. We’re originally from a country east of here, but we left there before a lot of us were born. No one really says why, just that it was a bad place and we should never go back. We settled in the countries west of our homeland, but then Haithen started taking over. My father said if we wouldn’t lose our autonomy in our homeland, then we wouldn’t lose it in another place either, so now we live on the move.”
“And what if you get caught?”
The boy squints at him, “You ask a lot of questions. Why don’t you know anything?”
“He’s been living under a rock,” Azure cuts in. “His parents gave him up when he was a baby and the people who raised him barely taught him anything. I think he has the intelligence of a seven year old now.”
It’s a jab meant to get a rise out of him, but he won’t respond, not when Azure is looking for any excuse to make things difficult for him. The boy stares at him in open eyed wonder, eyes flicking over him as if he could physically see signs of neglect. Azure shoos him off and the air between them pulls back into the familiar tension it has now whenever they’re alone.