“I never said that.” And he doesn’t want to think about it at this moment either.
“Well of course you’re not going to say it now.”
“Azure.”
“Alright.”
Ocher sighs as Azure’s lips meet his again and then there's only gentle touches moving across his skin. His eyes blink open to a sky full of stars at the first feeling of Azure inside him and at that moment he realizes what a mistake he’s just made.
He silently berates himself for letting himself get caught so easily. Azure been using him since the beginning and this is no different. The affection in this act is only on his part.
Too late he understands how much misplaced trust he has in Azure. He never thought the innocent touches he pushed on Azure would progress into anything more, nor was it supposed to go this far, but he hadn’t resisted. The time on the boat, the festival, he’d fallen too far and when Azure returned his kiss tonight, the feeling of belonging and being belonged to had consumed him and he put all of himself in Azure’s hands.
He cries out softly in Azure’s grasp as he pushes in further, and a mouth covers his once again to soothe, firm and demanding against his own. It’s too late to stop now. Maybe it won’t mean anything later, but for this one moment, he can pretend. Ocher shuts his eyes and lets go.
Afterwards, he lays there quiet and sore, wondering what happens now and why Azure let it go that far. He knows the answer. Azure hadn’t cared how it would affect him, so there was no reason to hesitate. No reason not to go after what he wanted. Will they still split at the end? Could Azure really be with him and still see him as expendable? Would Azure use his feelings against him like this? The answer to all his questions is yes, he's under no illusions of his worth to Azure after this.
He's pulled from his thoughts by a whisper of his name, followed by fingers trailing along his jaw. “Stop thinking,” Azure says in a low voice before kissing him softly. “Just stay. That’s all you have to do.”
As if there were any other choice for him.
◆◆◆
The next morning, Azure cuts all pretenses and gets down to the reason they really came. He calls for Dale to meet him in the plaza which still holds the remains of yesterday’s celebrations. During the festival, he had used the time to scout out the location of the building he needed and Ocher wonders if that was the real reason that they came at this time. So, he could snoop around without arousing suspicion.
“I want access to the inner sanctum,” Azure states without preamble once Dale arrives.
Dale’s posture shifts minutely into something more defensive. “And why would you want that?”
“Because of what’s inside.”
“What’s inside is not for us to use.”
“Of course it is or it wouldn’t be there.”
Dale shakes his head, “I understand what happened to your people was a tragedy, however this isn’t the way. Violence isn’t the way and our people knew this.”
“Yeah, well, a lot of good that did them and it’s not doing me so well either.”
By now, several other townspeople have gathered behind Dale getting a sense of the trouble the outsiders are starting. “We don’t want to fight you, Azure. Although if we have to, we will. You seem like a nice boy, no one needs this. “
Ignoring the first part of his words, Azure replies. “I need this and we will fight too.”
“We?” Ocher questions.
“Ocher.”
Even though it’s really not his fight, if he's honest with himself, he wouldn’t sit idly back and let them hurt Azure and only half of it has to do with the deal they made.
“How nonviolent are they?” Ocher whispers.
“Enough that we shouldn’t have to kill them,” Azure answers. “The first bullet in your gun is real. Aim for the barrel to his left, it’s flammable. Don’t miss. The rest are synthetic bullets, they’ll hurt, but won’t pierce the skin. Shoot as much as you like.”
Ocher thinks he really needs to start hiding his weapon. One day he might try to defend himself and end up dead because Azure changed the bullets again without telling him.
He fires at the barrel and it immediately goes up in flames. Faster than should be natural, the sides of the buildings nearby catch ablaze and the fire spreads rapidly along the roofs. No doubt Azure found time somewhere along the way to add extra fuel to that barrel and the surrounding area.
The townspeople panic, torn between stopping him and preventing the fire from spreading. Azure takes advantage of their distraction to charge Dale, driving a knife into his side, and looping an arm around his neck to pull the older man along with him.
Several people have controlled the fire down to a manageable level, but they leave it simmering just in case they have to use it for defense. Ocher glimpses two men sneaking up behind them as he follows slowly after Azure and he fires, dropping them both to the ground with twin cries of pain.
They’re at a standoff. “I’m going to stab you on the other side if they come near me, so for your sake, I hope they value your life.” Azure tells Dale bluntly.
Dale looks at him with open hatred and waves the hand that’s not covering his stab wound towards his people to stop them from advancing. Besides hatred, there’s also resignation in his face as if he’s already accepted that Azure will get what he wants. If they give up so easily, he can understand how Azure’s people were captured.
“So, you care more about your life than stopping me. What kind of leader are you?” He goads, marching Dale towards a double arched building, leaving Ocher to cover their backs. All traces of warmth are gone as he faces the crowd. They’d probably burn him alive if it wouldn’t cost their leader’s life. He glances around as he follows Azure and is relieved to see Irisa isn’t here. Hopefully they won’t punish her for their actions.
At the entrance, Azure shoves Dale away from him and simultaneously pulls Ocher in by the arm before shutting the door and locking it. Once they’re inside, Ocher relaxes, letting the tension ease out of his muscles even as a pounding on the door begins. He takes a seat on a nearby bench, keeping both the entrance and Azure in his sights. Neither one can be trusted to keep him safe.
Azure reaches the fire burning at the far end of the church and pulls out the amethyst he collected in Ustrina. He tosses the gem into the fire and the flames change from red to purple before dying down to reveal an entrance.
He steps one foot through before turning back to look at him, “Why are you sitting?”
“I’m sore.”
Azure pauses, “Maybe you shouldn’t make it so easy.”
Ocher freezes, shock battling with fury. It’s like a slap in the face. The fact that Azure could say that so easily afterwards only tells him that nothing between them has changed. He wasn’t the only one willing! If Azure wasn’t the one thing standing between himself and an angry crowd, he’d put one of these bullets right in Azure’s stupid face. It would save him a lot of trouble in the future too.
His words were meant to hurt and they do, partly because Azure is right. He could have refused. “I hate you.”
“I bet you do.” He comes back and hauls Ocher up by the bicep. “Come on, let’s go.”