Simon was once again seen.
She’d spent way too much time hoping it meant he was coming back to her. There had been so many nights she’d lain awake hoping and wishing. A few sounds of a bike’s engine had filled her with excitement but nothing had come. She’d stopped expecting a long time ago.
“You went through a lot.”
“I know. I went through a lot. I dealt with it. No one needs to talk their feelings to death, Dad. I’ve got a handle on all of this.”
She dropped the diced tomatoes and cucumbers into a bowl, more herbs and mayo. She couldn’t think of what else to put in it, and so she added the pasta, stirred, tasted, and then remembered some cheese.
Grabbing a pack of pre-grated, she tipped the contents into the bowl, gave another stir, and then she was done.
“Don’t walk away from me,” Tiny said.
“Dad, I’m not walking away. I’ve got a son to take care of. I don’t need to go thinking about stories of my husband. Believe me, it’s … I just need to focus on Nathan. That’s all I need right now and you and Mom should be happy about that. Why aren’t you?”
“We know you’re hurting.”
She licked her lips. “Look, I spent way too much time hoping for him to come back. Simon’s got his own life now and so have I. I’ve got a son I love more than anything. My life isn’t so complicated. I work. I take care of him. I’m fine.”
“You’re not living at all. All you’re doing is getting from one day to the next.”
“And it’s working. I don’t need anything else. Not right now. Please, don’t make me think about more of this.”
“We could reach out.”
She shook her head. “No. If you were going to reach out, you’d have done it years ago. Now it’s just, it’s sad. That’s what it is. I don’t need Simon. I never did. I’m not waiting around for him anymore.”
“So does that mean you’re dating someone?”
“Is that what all of this is about?” she asked. “Me dating?”
“What if your mom and I set you up with someone?” Tiny asked.
“No.”
“Come on. It will then give us peace of mind that you are fine here.”
“My word means nothing?”
“Your word does mean a great deal.”
She laughed. “I can’t believe this. You do realize in my entire life I’ve only been on one date. That’s all. One.”
“So it will be good for you.”
“Dad, really?”
“Come on. You’ve got nothing to lose, and dating could be fun.”
“I don’t know.”
“Please?” he asked.
“Fine. I’ll go on a date. If that will make you happy. I’ll prove to you I’m doing fine.” What her father didn’t know was she had no intention of enjoying the date. She didn’t need any of that to make her happy.
No men.
No dating.
She was fine and happy. Why couldn’t they see that?
“How about tonight?” he asked.
“Not happening. It will have to be after the fair.”
“Fine. Deal.”
“Deal.”
****
Nathan giggled as he grabbed hold of a big, fluffy teddy bear that she’d won for him.
She’d been able to shoot a gun for a long time and the guy manning the stand had been so cocky that taking the biggest prize from him had thrilled her. She got to wipe that smile off his face and her son got a teddy.
This was why she loved the fair.
She could give Nathan a whole host of toys and a good time. He just loved it.
“Where to next, darling?” she asked.
“I’m hungry.”
“Of course, you are. Let’s see.”
“Baked potato,” he said.
“That’s what you’re wanting?” she asked. “A baked potato?”
“Yep. Lots of cheese.”
She chuckled. “Let’s go and get you one.”
Tabitha spotted Daisy right up ahead. Rather than avoid her friend, they both walked to each other, Nathan keeping up with her strides, and they hugged.
“I’m so sorry for being a bitch to you,” Tabitha said.
“You’ve always been a big bitch. I accept. Damn, I don’t want to ever fight like that again. Promise me we won’t?”
“We won’t.” She hugged Daisy close.
“We’re all eating over there. I saw you and I had to come and get you.”
“I want a baked potato,” Nathan said.
Daisy laughed and picked him up. “Wow, you’re getting to be so big. I don’t like this at all. You need to stop growing.”
“Mommy says that all the time.”
“I know. She’s always very bossy,” Daisy said.
“Hey.”
“There’s a baked potato stand over there. You coming?” Daisy asked.
She glanced at Nathan and smiled. “Of course we are.”
Heading over to where a large cluster of The Skulls stood and sat eating, she went to the potato stand, ordering what her son loved and one for herself. After walking over to the table, she sat next to Nathan and put the tray next to him. He took the fork and started to break up the potato, mashing it as he went. She couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. He was so darn cute.
She ate a few bites of her potato, very much aware of Daisy watching her.
“Are you going to keep freaking me out?”
“You don’t eat a whole lot. I worry.”
“I eat a great deal.” She rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to stop being a worrywart.” Past Daisy’s shoulder, Tabitha spotted the woman she’d been wanting to have a private word with for a little while.
Taking another mouthful of food, she watched her move. When the woman went to the bathroom, she returned her gaze to Daisy.
“Will you keep an eye on Nathan?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Great. I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” Getting to her feet, she left her potato on the table. One of the guys would eat it. She wouldn’t have to worry about the waste.
Entering the bathroom, she closed the door and saw there was a lock on the inside. She flicked the lock into place, slowly, so as not to alert the woman who’d entered. She removed her heels and walked down the stalls, checking underneath. Only one was in use.
Putting her shoes back on, she leaned up against the sinks, waiting, watching, anticipating the woman coming out.
She gripped the edge of the counter.
The bathroom door opened and Miss Andrea came to a stop. She let out a little gasp. “You startled me.”
“Good.”
Andrea paused, her hands lifting slightly as if to ward her off. “Do I know you?”
“You know me and you’re very much aware of why I’m here.”
Ever since Simon had left her, she hadn’t hurt anyone. Not threatened. She’d been the good mother, the standup citizen Fort Wills loved. She hadn’t done anything to hurt anyone. The days of beating girls up or taking on guys, it had all stopped.
All she’d been granted for herself was the pain in her body, the memory of being a hard ass, and nothing else.