“Confession time.” I gave a guilty laugh. “I didn’t exactly think of you as a nuisance back in the day.”
“And? Did you ever think maybe…?”
“You were way too young for me. The five years between fifteen and twenty are huge. It would have literally been a criminal act. But goddamn, Thuong. Every time I looked into your eyes, I had to take a deep breath.”
“Good to know.”
“Good to know I barely have scruples?”
“Good to know you dug me.” Thuong’s eyes—those big, brown, hard-to-resist eyes—sparkled.
“Okay, just so I understand what you’re saying. Can you break it down for me? I’m getting mixed messages from you. You want me, but—”
“I can’t be in a relationship right now.” He glared at the ceiling. “Not even with you. Maybe especially not with you because you’re making all my dreams come true by finally, finally putting me in your pocket at exactly the wrong time.”
“Ah.” I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged them. “You’re saying you need some time.”
“Maybe a lot of time.”
“I see.” The ache in my throat was a fuse burning toward my heart. “Okay, I understand.”
“If ever there was a case of it’s not you, it’s me—”
“No, I get it.” I nodded. “I would never interfere with your recovery.”
“Don’t say it like that.” He scrubbed his face with both hands. “You’re the one who made my recovery possible. You and your goddamn fanny pack.”
One thing I knew: I was totally upgrading my look so I’d never have to hear those words again.
“What now?” I sighed. “Obviously, a motel room isn’t the optimal place for this particular… um… negotiation.”
“It was my idea. I’m sorry to put you in this position.”
“When my legs start working again, I can take you back to your place.”
“Right.”
“Let me catch my breath.” And rein in my emotions. “Spell things out. What do you need from me? Complete communications black out? Or you contact me when you want, like when you were in Hope House? Does this apply to my parents too? They’ll understand, I promise.”
“I don’t know.” Like a kid, he pulled a pillow over his head. “I haven’t thought this all the way through yet.”
“Well, here’s what you can do. Give it all the thought you need and let Echo know what you decide, okay? You want her around still, right?”
He nodded morosely. “The thing is”—he bit his lip—“we’re already here.”
I lifted a brow. “What?’
“And I don’t have to be back until nine.”
My heart turned to mush. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“Can’t we pretend this is neutral territory or something? We’re on borrowed time anyway.”
My entire body tightened, but I held myself back. “Explain what you mean by that.”
“We have a little time left before my curfew.” He peeked at me. “You think we could pretend for a few more minutes? I mean, we’ve gone this far.”
I asked carefully, “Do you want that?”
He flushed all over. “Since I’m stealing this time with you anyway, I’m willing to run the clock out.”
“Okay.” What wouldn’t I do for a few more minutes with Thuong? “As long as you’re absolutely, positively sure.”
“I’m sure about wanting you.” He stretched out next to me, unfurling into a long stretch of sinuous-muscled sensuality with no shame. “Not a whole lot else.”
I lay down and curled around him. “When you know, then you’ll know.”
A puff of air hit my neck. “How can you be so fucking patient?”
“It beats going batshit crazy,” I admitted. “And it really pisses off assholes.”
“Luke?” His hand slid up my ribs. “When I blew you, it kind of reset something inside me.”
“Did it?” I asked between little kisses over his cheek, his jaw, his throat. “How so?”
“First time I wanted to do that in a long, long time. First time I enjoyed it, probably ever.” He stilled. “First time I ever felt clean after.”
I closed my eyes against the sudden hot sting of tears. “Thank you. You know I’d never—”
“I know.” Thuong tugged on my arm and maneuvered me and squirmed until he’d pulled me over him. Our faces were a breath apart, with me looking deeply into his eyes. God, he was gorgeous—all sharp angles and a soft, coy gaze. “Do I have to say the words?”
“Yeah, I think you do.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “This time, you do.”
“Fuck me,” he whispered next to my ear. “Fuck me, fuck me. I want you so deep inside me I feel you next week.”
“Tug—”
“Thuong.”
“Thuong, have you thought about this? If you have ED it won’t exactly be good for you. You don’t owe me anything. This might complicate things more. I need you to be really, really sure.”
He nipped my lower lip. “Do you have what we need or not?”
“I—” My duffle sat on the chair and inside, I had a dopp kit outfitted for anything from a one-night stand to an emergency appendectomy because… me. “Do you actually need to ask that question?”
He smiled. “My hot librarian.”
I got up and dug out what we needed, throwing the condom and lube on the pillow next to Thuong’s head.
He gave a catlike little stretch. “C’mere.”
“Are you absolutely sure about this?”
He let his real smile take over his face—the one I’d started chasing like he used to chase his high. I didn’t want to look to closely at that just then, but I put a pin in the thought for later…
There are all kinds of addictions.
I let myself fall onto the bed next to his legs because my first objective was getting his clothes off. The buttons on his shirt were small and fussy, the buttonholes a little tight. After a bit of frustration, I was able to part the shirt and run my fingers over his abs. Oh, Christ. His skin was flawless. Pale and smooth as though the sun had never touched it. His nipples were pink. He had little body hair to speak of. And those abs…
My hands faltered before I got to the waistband of his khakis. He took pity on me and undid the button so all I had to do was unzip his fly. Like me, he wore unremarkable briefs. I caught the waistband of his pants and briefs and pulled both down, freeing him. As he’d said, his cock wasn’t very interested in the goings-on, but that didn’t stop me from staring.
Thuong was glorious. Uncut. Perfectly proportioned with a tangle of dark pubic hair and deep hollows between his hips just made for kissing.
He hissed and squirmed when I pressed my mouth to his skin, but I held him down and pressed his hips into the mattress. I wanted to explore every part of his fascinating body with my mouth, teeth, and tongue.
I mouthed his dick and licked my way down to his balls and over his taint. I got lube and worked his rim with my thumbs until his tension eased and he softened up for me before I crawled up to gage the reactions on his face.