I talked to Layla about bars on the phone today. She promised that if there's a good chance she and her friends are going to end up in a bar, she'll let me know ahead of time.
I promised myself that next time anything like that happens, I'll go home.
I don't need to put myself in that situation again.
If I'd had time, I'd have reminded Luke why I need to be by myself for a while. It'd be so easy to lose myself in him and forget what I'm here for.
He's so eager to "help" me, he'd bowl me right over if I let him.
I need to figure out how to let Luke know I'm grateful, and maybe even apologize for jumping to conclusions.
Tug
I didn’t leave the library until four in the afternoon. The director, Leon Cardoza, was personable, seemed kind, and had recently had a new hire fall through.
“You picked a great time to ask. We do have an opening right now.” Leon’s smile was almost a smirk—as if he knew something I didn’t. “It happens like that sometimes. Serendipity.”
I swallowed hard. “I’d like to apply.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” And just like that, the odds of me finding a library job in St. Nacho’s got better. Leon and I talked for hours at the library, and later through lunch at a local Chinese place, which floored me. Our conversation wasn’t strictly about work either. Leon told me how he’d visited St. Nacho’s when he and his wife were still in school, how they decided to make the move here after they graduated. I told him about my education, my family, my life in Galt, and a bit about Thuong.
“No way. That must have been terrifying. You always carry naloxone?” Leon’s wide brown eyes blinked twice. He made a note on the yellow pad he’d been doodling on. “Does your branch have enough incidents that you feel the need to maintain naloxone on your person at work?”
“Nah, that’s just… me. I wear a belt bag, and I keep some pretty weird things in it. First aid kit, fashion tape, safety pins, hard candies, eyewash. You never know what you’ll need.”
“And apparently naloxone.”
“Not a bad idea, it turns out.” I talked a little more about the different emergencies I’d seen, from everyday paper cuts and copier pinch injuries, to major medical events where we’d had to call EMS. “Ever since I was an RA, I’ve wanted to be prepared for anything.”
“I see.”
“You know what? I believe people should be able to come in and find books and answers to research questions, but also… a community that cares. Does that make sense? My boss thinks I go overboard because I buy bottled water when there’s a high heat advisory and I don’t second guess patrons unless they’re actively doing something forbidden or destructive. For me, the library is a secular sanctuary.”
“Refuge.” He nodded slowly. “Nice way of looking at it.”
“That probably comes from my comic-store upbringing. We had this sign, ‘Not all heroes wear tights and a cape.’”
Leon’s eyes twinkled. “My wife gave me a t-shirt that says that.”
Later, when I left the most epic job interview I’d ever been on, Leon held out his hand. “I look forward to reading your CV. I’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you so much. I really enjoyed our time.” I waved like an idiot as I left the building. Outside, the wind picked up debris and scudded it across the pavement. Leaves and blossoms swirled around my feet as if they were trying to hold me in place.
It wasn’t too late to start the drive home, but I didn’t want to leave. Instead, I extended my stay at the SeaView for a second night. Since I wasn’t scheduled to work until late on Thursday, I didn’t have to call Suzanne.
The first thing I did was shower. The interview had been exhausting and exhilarating at the same time. I lay down to read for a bit but ended up falling into a deep, relaxing sleep.
I woke around five with such enthusiasm, I called Katie to tell her I’d had a freak job interview in Santo Ignacio.
“What?” Her shock was legit, I guessed. “You didn’t even tell me you were thinking about this.”
“I wasn’t ready to mention it yet. It’s all still on the drawing board.”
“You want to follow Thuong?”
“No. I’ve actually been thinking about this since before he came into my life. Things were changing inside me. Thuong may have been a catalyst, but he’s not the driving force.”
“I don’t understand why you’d leave Galt,” she said. “Your family is here. You have seniority at work. You own a house, for God’s sake. If you leave all that to chase after a guy, you’re out of your mind.”
“Well, first off, yeah. I probably am out of my mind for thinking I could share this without you freaking out about it,” I said with more heat than necessary. “It’s not about Thuong. He’s only there to make some kind of reparation. Who knows where he’ll wind up?”
“But you really like him. What if you move there and he decides he likes Portland? Do you move to Portland?”
Would I? “I don’t think so.”
“Oh my God. This is crazy, Luke.”
“Why? This is a special place. I felt the pull of Santo Ignacio from the first. Why shouldn’t I follow my heart?”
She sighed heavily. “Because your entire life is here.”
“C’mon. I have work, friends, and family in Galt. Family will always be important to me, and St. Nacho’s isn’t that far. I can keep in touch with friends. But work is… different lately. Suzanne and I don’t see eye to eye anymore. She’s been making things difficult. Maybe it's because my priorities have changed, but she’s hostile about the things I want to accomplish, even on my own time. We barely have a conversation now where she’s not lecturing me that I’ve become some Kool-Aid-swilling dupe.”
There was a pause. “Have you considered she might be right?"
"What?"
"Isn't it possible you're reacting to the trauma of Thuong's near death? Because it seems as if from that moment forward, everything changed for you."
"You're right, of courses."
"If you believe Santo Ignacio offers some special healing do-over or that nothing bad will happen there—"
“It's not like that." I could feel the atmosphere in Santo Ignacio but I couldn’t describe it. "The town has a special vibe. You need to come with me next time. You’ll see.”
“So it really is the town that draws you? Won’t you miss your folks? I’ve never met a tighter-knit family. Won’t you miss helping out at Comix and Games, watching your nephew grow up, meeting me for coffee a couple times a week?”
“I will miss that. So much. But my family tree is huge and there are all these big leafy branches. Sometimes it blocks out the sun, you know? A little distance won’t be a bad thing for any of us. And St. Nacho's is close. We’ll be fine.”
“You really have given this a lot of thought.”
“I have. Starting over someplace new—Santo Ignacio specifically—feels right. I need a place where things aren’t simply preordained for me by DNA. I need to stretch myself a little.”