“I can! I am. It’s very possible, I assure you. I can bring him back. Like nothing happened.”
“No. Come on, you—”
Death appears.
I try to shout, ‘no – I need to talk this through with Gaire!’ but I’m not quick enough. I’m in the vortex. Moments later, I’m falling to the floor. I get up. My head is spinning but, I’m okay otherwise. No nausea. My body is growing accustomed to being teleported.
I pull in a deep breath. “Take me back!” I shout.
“What?” both Death and Jarrod say.
“He’s out of it,” Death tells Jarrod.
“Star moved Nia,” Jarrod says.
“Good,” Death says as he grabs my arm. We’re teleporting again. I close my eyes, gritting my teeth. I’m not feeling sick, but I’m not enjoying it either.
The ground feels like it’s suddenly being pushed up. Like I’m being lifted. Like my head might hit the ceiling. I only stay on my feet because Death holds me. I’m not sure where I am. It’s a small apartment. There is vegetation everywhere. The place is crammed with plants, many of which are flowering. There isn’t much in the way of furniture. One small sofa. A two-man table. The kitchenette is just as small and filled with greenery as well.
“Don’t look so put out,” Death says. “I’m not home much, and I have green fingers.” He holds up his hands.
This is Death’s place? “Um… It’s nice,” I say, still looking around. “I live in a small cabin. Who am I to judge? I was wondering, that’s all. I didn’t know about the green fingers…wow! You’re good. This place reminds me of a jungle.”
Death looks at me strangely. “You’re being too chatty for you. Are you feeling okay?”
I nod and then pull in a sharp breath. “Where’s Nia?”
“We’ll wait to hear where Star took her, but she’s safe.”
I nod. “Okay, good, that’s good.”
“Nice outfit.” Death smiles for half a beat, looking down.
I look down, too, at the sheet that is wrapped around me. “I wasn’t planning on being taken by that asshole. Had I known, I would have dressed for the occasion.”
“Why did you ask me to take you back? What did he say to you? I wouldn’t trust him.”
“It took him so long to get to the point that when he finally did…you arrived. It wasn’t what I expected.”
“What did he say?”
“A life for a life,” I repeat Gaire’s words. “He was trying to negotiate for Nia.”
“Negotiate how?” Death cocks his head.
I go over our general conversation. Filling him in. I pause right at the end. “He offered me Warrick’s life. He offered to bring Warrick back from the dead.”
“What? I don’t think he has that kind of power.” Death shakes his head.
“Is it possible?” I ask. “I didn’t think it would be possible. I thought he was lying.” I force myself to stop talking.
“It’s possible,” Death says. “I’ve never seen it done, and I’m not sure if there would be repercussions.”
“Repercussions?” My mind is racing. “You mean like Pet Cemetery?” I reference a well-known Stephen King book in which a family buries their cat in the cemetery at their house, and it returns from the dead. Alive but not the same, and not in a good way.
“Something like that. You’re not thinking of handing Nia over?” Death narrows his eyes. “Are you seriously considering it?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I wouldn’t do that.”
Death heaves a sigh. “I didn’t think so, but it’s good to hear it.”
“I think I might have feelings for Nia,” I say. I put up a hand. “I know. It’s too soon. I barely know her. I’m more than likely thinking with my little head rather than my big head. I’m being an idiot.” I swallow thickly. “I’ve been telling myself all of this on replay since I woke up this morning. I can’t shake the feeling.” I pause for a second, “It’s okay, you can tell me I’m crazy.”
“I think you’re crazy,” Death deadpans.
“I know…I know.” I’m nodding like a madman. I run a hand through my hair. “I need to stop my shit. I can stop panicking because I can’t possibly have feelings for her.”
“I think you’re crazy because I can’t imagine falling in love myself, but I’ve seen the way you look at her. I think you might be right.”
I frown, “I look at her in a certain way?” Fuck! This is bad. She might have noticed. Of course she fucking noticed. I almost kissed her earlier. I felt something when I looked into her eyes earlier. The sex was more than just fucking. It was so much more.
“Oh, yes.” Death nods. “I’ve seen Night look at his wife like that. Bolt…” he rolls his eyes, “he is like a lovesick puppy.”
“This is a problem. A big fucking problem.” I almost can’t believe what I’m hearing. I want to pace because pacing always calms me down, but I can’t. No space. “I’ve only known Nia for two days. What’s wrong with me? We’re good together. I think it might be the sex. It’s definitely the sex. It’s good…amazing…mind-blowing. Could it be the great sex?” I ask Death. I’m talking too much. I’m panicking a little.
Death chuckles. “It might be the sex, but I’m sure there’s a whole lot more there than just a good physical relationship. Also, you’ve known her for longer than just two days.”
“She was in her dog form before that,” I snort. “Hardly counts.”
“It does count. It doesn’t matter what form a person is in. It shouldn’t matter.” Death is so pragmatic.
“You’re right.” I nod. “Although I did take her to the pound.” I wince.
“Maybe you took her because you were feeling yourself becoming attached.”
There’s something there. Death might be right. “I’m not crazy, then? I’m not thinking with my dick?” I ask him. I don’t even want to think about the offer Gaire made. Even if I trusted him wholeheartedly, I could never trade the life of a living person for that of someone already passed. I could never live with myself. I could never forgive myself. I have to live with what I did. With what happened. I’ll be damned if I’m adding Nia to my list of casualties.
I might be falling for Nia, but I can’t keep her. As much as I want to, I can’t. I’ve done enough damage in my life. I’m too much of a loose cannon. I might end up hurting her. I can’t let that happen.
I wish with everything in me that it could be different, but it can’t. I wish I could trust myself, but I can’t. If I lose control, even for a second, people might die. She might die. No fucking way is that happening.
I have to find a way to help her, and then I must watch her walk away. I meant it when I said she could hurt me. Watching her leave will cut me deep. I will bleed. My advanced healing won’t be able to help me. Nothing will. But I can do it. It’s not too late because I’m not in too deep.