Death’s phone rings.
20
Nia
Death and Rage appear. I’ve never been happier to see a person in my whole life. I launch myself into Rage’s arms. “Oh, my goodness!” I push the words out. My face is buried in his chest. “I thought you were dead.” I hug him even harder for a few more seconds, relishing the closeness. His arms are tight around me. His face is buried in the crook of my neck. I want to stay right here. I want it so badly that I push Rage way, taking a step back. “Gaire took you?”
Rage nods.
“I need to go,” Death says. He has that pinched look. “I’ll stay close, as will Star. In case…in case you need us…” Star left a few minutes ago. She assured me of the same. Between her and Death, we should be okay. We can’t keep running from Gaire forever. I have that thought strongly in the back of my mind. “You know what to do if he turns up.”
“Yes, and thank you,” Rage says as Death disappears in a cloud of ozone. The scent dissipates quickly out in the open air. We’re outside Rage’s house. He pulls the sheet more tightly around himself. “Good thing I don’t have any neighbors nearby,” he says, looking down at himself.
“What did Gaire want?” I ask him.
“He wanted to bargain with me.”
“A bargain? What kind of bargain?” I swallow thickly. “It was probably something you really want. Gaire is good at finding a person’s weakness and exploiting it.”
“Let’s go inside.” Rage gestures to the door.
I feel my mouth turn dry. Is Rage about to tell me that he’s accepting the offer? Is this him letting me down gently? Maybe I misread the emotions I saw earlier. Or maybe whatever it is that Gaire has offered is just too important to Rage to pass up.
We go inside.
“You should really stop wearing my shirts.” When I look at Rage, there’s humor glinting in his eyes. I’m still in the t-shirt Rage discarded earlier.
I get straight back to the question that’s sitting at the forefront of my mind. “What did Gaire want? What did he offer you?”
“Do you want something to drink?” He goes to the refrigerator.
Why is he stalling? “No.” I shake my head. “I need to know what happened. You’re making me nervous here.”
“You have nothing to be nervous about.”
I give him a look.
“Okay, I’ll take that back; you have a lot to be nervous about.” He grabs a soda and opens it, closing the refrigerator with his elbow. “You sure you don’t want one?” He holds up the can.
I feel too anxious to drink. “I’m sure.” My stomach feels tightly clenched.
“Let’s sit.” He gestures at the sofa. It’s the same one I slept on the night before last. It feels like forever ago.
I sit on the edge of the seat. My full attention is on him.
Rage puts the can down on the coffee table. “I’ll be back in a sec.” He disappears into his bedroom, returning half a minute later wearing a pair of sweatpants. He sits next to me. Rage just sits there for a few moments. It’s like he’s composing himself. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying anything. My palms are starting to sweat. Rage finally pulls some air in through his nose. He’s squeezing his thighs in his big hands. His whole stance is rigid. Oh my gosh! This is bad. “When I was sixteen, something terrible happened.” He’s looking down at his lap. “I really liked this girl. We went out a bunch of times. I felt like she was the sun, the moon, and the stars, all rolled into one.” He’s rubbing his thighs. It’s nerves.
“What happened?” I say. It doesn’t sound like there was a happy ending. I almost don’t want to know.
“In hindsight, it was a whole lot of hormones, but back then, I thought she was the one. We’d gone to third base, and I felt like it wouldn’t be long before…it became really serious between us.” He chuckles, but it’s filled with pain and suffering. “I was so excited about finally having sex. About being with Bella. I was so stupid!” he growls the last.
“That’s not stupid; it’s young love. My brothers wouldn’t let anyone near me, but I can understand what it must have felt like.”
“It was stupid because Bella didn’t feel the same way about me. Not even close. My best friend also liked her, but I started dating her first, so he stayed away. I played down what I was feeling for her. I didn’t want Warrick and our friends to laugh at me. I pretended it wasn’t a big deal, that I didn’t care for her as much as I did.” He scrubs a hand over his face. His eyes are on a spot on the far side of the room. I can see that he’s thinking back. He grips his thighs again. “So, there I was, feeling all in love. I went over to Bella’s place, thinking this would be the day we went all the way. The day I would get to tell her that I was in love with her. There were stars in my eyes. My palms were sweaty. I was so excited. No one answered the door, So I went around back. I saw them there. My girlfriend, Bella, and my best friend, Warrick, who was all over her. It was hot and heavy, and I saw red.”
I watch as Rage stands. He’s a bundle of nerves and energy. It’s at times like these that I can feel his power. It’s a similar feeling you get if you stand too close to one of those massive speakers at a concert. The air feels charged, displaced somehow. I watch him walk to the other side of the room, his hand squeezing the back of his neck. When he turns, his eyes have this tortured look. He doesn’t feel quite as charged.
He walks back and sits, breathing out through his nose. “I can’t believe how betrayed I felt. We were kids. It was stupid. I lost it. I punched him. I said terrible things, not just about him but about her too.” He sniffs. I can see the emotions simmering beneath the surface. “I didn’t ask what was going on. I didn’t wait for replays. I hit Warrick. I hit my friend, and he retaliated. I deserved it. I was young and so fucking stupid. I got angry. Before I knew it, we were in a full-on punching match. I lost control. I can’t remember what happened next. I’m not sure if I blacked out or if I’ve blocked the memory. When I came to, I was covered in blood. Eight men were holding me down. Several of them were bloody. There were four bodies on the ground.” His voice breaks. I can see him trying to compose himself.
“Three of the men on the floor were badly beaten. They had broken limbs. They were bleeding and seriously hurt. One of them had to fight for his life. It was touch and go for a couple of days. Then there was Warrick…” I see his throat work. He rubs his eyes. “I killed him, Nia. I killed my best friend with my bare hands.” He holds up his hands, looking at them like they’re bloody now. I can see a tortured, haunted look in his eyes.
“It was an accident,” I tell him, my voice is a whisper. No wonder. This poor, tortured soul.
Rage shakes his head. “He was my friend. My best fucking friend. I just lost it. I was a jealous asshole. I found out afterward that Bella had convinced him that we had broken up. I realized that she didn’t care about me. She never had. Either of us, for that matter. I let something so stupid get to me. I killed him over something so trivial. That’s not an accident.” There’s anguish written all over his face. “I let myself get so angry that I lost control. I tore his head…” Rage stops talking. His jaw is tight. He’s breathing fast. He drops his head into his hands, covering his face.